


The Mind Games Trilogy Book 1: Telekinesis

by Mcrmy_Isnt_Okay



Series: The Mind Games Trilogy [1]
Category: Twenty One Pilots, joshler - Fandom
Genre: Depression, Fanfiction, M/M, Rape/Non-con - Freeform, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Telekinesis, Telepathy, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-04 20:59:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 36
Words: 42,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14601600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mcrmy_Isnt_Okay/pseuds/Mcrmy_Isnt_Okay
Summary: BOOK 1 OF THE MIND GAMES TRILOGY!Josh has the gift of Telepathy.Tyler has the curse of Telekinesis.Josh is harmless.Tyler is dangerous.Can Tyler, the guilt-ridden suicidal boy stay with Josh, the mindreading lover boy? Or will the wind in the forest sweep them apart?*Trigger Warning*-COMPLETE-





	1. Tyler's POV

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is Book 1 of TMGT. This story has triggers that I will list below. Please be safe when reading and I hope you enjoy!  
> This story is also published on my Wattpad account @Mcrmy_Isnt_Okay 
> 
> TRIGGERS:  
> -Self harm  
> -Suicidal tendencies  
> -Suicidal thoughts  
> -Rape/Non-Con  
> -Smut
> 
> If there are anymore triggers I've forgotten, please let me know and I'll add them. There will be NO MORE warnings, please be safe when reading this :-)  
> -xoSammy

It wasn’t hard at all to kill him. All I did was look at him and boom…his neck snapped. I also meant to do it. It wasn’t an accident like I lied and said it was. Having said that, do I regret it? Yes…slightly not but mostly. He always hurt me and I guess I just snapped…

 _Along with his neck!_ Blurry laughs.

Blurry, that’s not funny…anyway, im Tyler Joseph and my parents call me the most dangerous person in the world, which I agree with unfortunately. I say unfortunately because who wants to be dangerous? Who wants to have no friends because there is a chance they could hurt or upset you and you kill them…yeah being dangerous is horrible! I killed someone a few months ago so my family decided I should have a ‘fresh start’ in a new town. I think it’s a waste of time because all that will happen is everyone will either hate me or hurt me and I will be alone and fighting Blurryface. Blurryface aka Blurry is a shadow like figure thing I guess…I am the only one who can see, hear and speak to him. I hate him but he is the only one I have. My parents are at work most of the time and im an only child. Blurry isn’t the typical ‘imaginary friend’. He is very much real and it sucks. He made me kill the boy. Like I said, im dangerous and the only reason why im not locked up is because no one can prove it and the body isn’t discovered. As I said before, it isn’t hard for me to kill someone and to be completely honest, I’d be lying if I didn’t say it felt good to get rid of him.

 _You should do it more often Tyler. It won’t hurt to get rid of just one more…_ Blurry whispers in my ear, startling me.

I could kill another person with ease but I promised my parents id control myself once we get to Columbus and that’s what I intend on doing. Besides, there is no reason to kill another person and it won’t do any good to the world.

“Tyler, what are you thinking about?” Helen, my new therapist says as she pulls me from my thoughts.

I look up at her and smile slightly insanely as I say “Johnny…”

“Oh…what about him?”

“Pft, just how easy it was to snap his neck and how dangerous I am…” I say as I lean forward closer to Helen.

“How his lifeless body looked when it fell to the ground…” I kept going while smiling widely.

“O-oh…” she mumbles wide-eyed.

I lean forward more so I could reach her easily as I turn my hand into a gun, pointing it at her.

“How fun it was to dispose of someone so worthless…how I could kill another worthless life…” I whisper as I turn my gun-shaped hand to myself, resting it against my temple.

“But” I say as I quickly sit back against my chair leaving Helen in shock.

“You say I can’t do that so…I guess you’re stuck with a fuck up like me.” I smile.

Helen is the only one besides my parents who know about Johnny, the kid I killed. I like to mess with her, make her feel uncomfortable which really isn’t hard considering she is talking to a murderer that could kill her in a heartbeat.

“Tyler, what wont I let you do?” Helen asks once shock leaves her pale face.

“I don’t understand what just happened…” she adds as I shake my head.

“You won’t let me die. Every time I say goodbye to you and say it will be the last time you always decide to put me on some shit that makes me tired and sleep all the time…it sucks!” I say pouting.

“Tyler, are you thinking of suicide again?” she says with a sad face.

I shrug. What am I supposed to say? _‘Hell yeah Helen my darling, I’ve wanted to die for years but couldn’t do it because of people like you…’_ that wouldn’t end well I think.

She lets out a deep breath and writes stuff down. Why do I have a therapist you ask…or didn’t ask…whatever, I have one because even murderers have something they need help with. Me personally, I guess it’s my guilty conscience mixed with depressing and suicidal thoughts. It’s all Blurryface’s fault. He is the one filling my mind with poison. Helen doesn’t help, she is scared of me…everyone is scared of me…it sucks really. Even at school people got bullied but I got the usual scared looks from people who despise me, along with either getting beaten up or called a freak or some other crap from my old school back in Cleveland. Why am I suicidal you ask…or don’t…you know what, im gonna pretend like you did to make myself feel better because im a selfish fuck like that. Im suicidal for the obvious reason; Blurryface. Okay it might not be that obvious but anyway…he pollutes my mind with bad thoughts that lead me to doing dumb things. He has convinced me that im useless and unwanted since I was little so it’s just a normal thing now. I wake up to him whispering stuff about me killing myself or killing others and I go to sleep with the same thing. It’s normal. It doesn’t help that I have the ‘gift’ of Telekinesis; more like a curse in my eyes but whatever. That’s how I killed Johnny; Telekinesis. Now don’t get it confused with Telepathy. Telepathy is to do with reading minds or some shit and Telekinesis is moving things and doing shit with your mind. For example, if I had Telepathy I could read Johnny’s mind but I have Telekinesis so I could snap his neck just by looking at him and focusing on his neck and the bones breaking. It’s far more dangerous I think but oh well. I’ve always had it; since I can remember. I remember id be at the table with mom and dad eating and mom would forget a fork or something and ask me to get it so id use my mind and it would float to me fast. It’s fun and so fucking great when you can’t reach the remote or you are in bed and you don’t wanna get up to turn your light off. It’s also a curse I say because like I said multiple times, im dangerous and it’s really hard to control. It hurts if I don’t use the power for a while. My body heats up and I get really dizzy and sick feeling when I don’t use the power at least once a day. So far I’ve used it inside the house like making my bed and cleaning. I used to throw trees; I know it sounds weird but I’d go out to the forest in Cleveland and I’d rip up a tree with a lot of my energy and id throw it further down through the forest. It was good exercise.

“Tyler, im afraid I can’t stop you physically harming yourself but like I’ve stated before, you hold too much value to die. Please stay alive.” She says in a pleading voice.

I nod and bite my lip. It’s a nervous habit I’ve picked up since I was little; since I started being left home alone and afraid while my parent’s worked away. They left me in the house with food and electricity but no safety. They would always say im safe because of my ‘gift’ but I still got super nervous.

“Time is up. I’ll see you next week, and good luck with your new school Tyler.” She says as she smiles.

I say goodbye and leave her cream, white and grey office. I start my walk home. My parents are both away like usual so I walk everywhere because im a typical 16 year old who doesn’t have a license or money for the bus. I’ve been here for a week and I only know my way to Helens office and the school im starting tomorrow. Mom showed me the way a couple of times. Columbus is weird…it’s cold and just looks depressing. It’s always gloomy and there are always clouds covering the sun. I noticed a forest behind my house when we moved in. I promised myself id go check it out sometime, maybe today I’ll go throw a tree or two.


	2. Josh's POV

“JOSH! GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD!” My sister screams at me.

She is younger by a year. I like to annoy her by reading her mind whenever she is on the phone or is thinking important stuff. It’s funny because sometimes like today, she will be focusing on homework and I’ll be telepathically annoying her by talking about cats or aliens. She gets really pissed but it’s worth it. Oh…I probably should have said who I am by now…

Im Joshua Dun but everyone calls me Josh. I have the insane power of Telepathy; I can read people’s minds. I have since I was little but as I’ve grown so has my ability, I never used to be able to talk to people telepathically, only read their minds but with growing older, skill grew with me. Only my close family know about the ability because let’s be honest, who would talk to a freak if he could read your mind? So I keep the ability only in the house. Of course at school I read people’s minds though. I know exactly what everyone thinks about me and im not hated much which im happy about. Im the bisexual jock of the school. I color my hair but right now it’s red. I play the drums and go for runs to clear my busy head.

I’ve lived in Columbus with my mom and sister since I was born. Columbus is nice but cold as hell! Don’t get me wrong, snow is amazing but too cold for me. At school I have my group of friends and we I guess are the typical ‘Popular group’ of jocks who beat people up and shit. I’ve only ever beaten a few people up and that was for self-defense or to help out my friends but other than that I normally let my friends do it. My friends are pretty cool dudes, none I’d date though. I have my close friends then my other friends who hang with us. A few of my friends are Brendon, Dallon, Gerard, Frank, Patrick, Pete, Mikey, Ray and Ryan. Im close with Brendon, he has a massive forehead and he is gay as fuck. He is dating Ryan but his ex is Dallon, long story short Dallon and Bren hate each other. Im also close with Gerard, the artsy guy who is Mikey’s older and protective brother. He is so protective one time a guy hit Mikey and Gerard saw…let’s just say that guy never went near Mikey or Gerard again. Im close with Frank the short ass of the group and Pete the emo. Like I said before, im the bisexual freak of the group. I am the one no one messes with even though they know I’d never hurt someone unless it’s needed. I guess I look dangerous or something? People normally think dumb things about me like if I walk past the cheerleaders they either have sex on their mind or ‘Omg like he is so like fucking hot like augh’ and it’s funny because I think im more gay than bisexual because they don’t seem to make me want them like a jock should…yet again I’ve never found an attractive guy I liked. I mean yeah there are attractive guys; Gerard is the hottest in the school I think but I’d never date him because he is 1-My best fucking friend and 2-He isn’t my type of guy. I like the more…smaller guys? Not saying Gerard is fat or anything because he is far from it, no I mean like muscle size and the body in general. I like a guy who can wear skinny jeans but not look like a fuckboy in them. I personally look like a fuckboy because that’s what im meant to be I guess. I want a guy who I make nervous, a guy who when I kiss him; he silently begs for more…yeah I think I am more gay than bisexual but oh well.

“JOSH!” My mom says as she waves her hand in my face.

I jump into reality and look at my mom’s tired expression.

“Stop annoying your sister and dinner is ready soon.” She says as she turns away.

**What am I gonna make for dinner tonight? Maybe I’ll order pizza…**

I read my mom’s mind. I go to my room and get my clothes ready for a shower. Nothing is better than a shower, snapchat, cats, aliens and pizza; nothing!

After my shower and pizza I head to my room. I fall asleep fast due to not much sleep the night before. I was at Gerard’s and we all were drunk as fuck. I think Gerard and Frank kissed but as I said, I was wasted so that might have been a dream or something.

 

**Tyler’s POV**

I get into my house after looking through the forest. I managed to throw a few trees. I found a tree house which is pretty cool. I need to eat something…but what?

_You should cut…_

Oh gosh…here we go, Blurry being a dickhead again…

 _Your worthless anyway, go and do it!_ He mutters in my ear.

I look behind me and see him standing with his red eyes beaming at me. I allow my head to drop as I walk into the bathroom. I’ve given up trying to win against him; he never loses so I just do what he says now.

After I clean my stomach I sit on the floor of the bathroom. My head is filled with throbbing along with thoughts mixing with memories. I think about when I killed Johnny. He looked terrified but I was oblivious to what I was doing; I was in immense pain emotionally and physically. He hurt me, he did the dumbest thing and I was merely…paying him back…it wasn’t my choice to have a fuckwit hurt me! He really was just a drunk, stoned and stupid motherfucker to try and attack me. Telekinesis always wins.

 _So do I._ Blurry says.

That was the last I heard of him as I sit in silence. Eventually with all the little energy I’ve got, I move my aching body to my bedroom where I plop onto my bed and fall asleep to the sound of silence.


	3. Josh's POV

“Sup Dun, how are ya?” Brendon says as I walk up to the group of jocks.

“Good, you?” I say.

“Yeah fine. What do you have first?” Brendon asks as I pull out my timetable.

“Augh fucking art…”

“Ewe!” Brendon laughs.

“Excuse me bitches?” Gerard says, scaring the shit out of us as we turn around.

“Sorry Gee…” I say rubbing my neck nervously.

“Yeah sorry…that art is shit!” Brendon laughs as Gerard glares at him.

**Fuck you Bren!**

I read Gerard’s mind. Brendon is the jokester of the group, him and Gerard joke around all the time.

“Dude your ego is so big it could almost fit up your ass.” Gerard says as he rolls his eyes.

“My ego isn’t the only thing that’s big…” Brendon smirks.

“Damnit Bren, your right…your forehead is pretty big too…” Gerard laughs as Brendon glares.

“Fuck you Gee!”

“Now Bren, Ryan wouldn’t like that…would he!” Gerard says while laughing more.

“Go fuck yourself Gerard!”

“I already have thanks.” Gerard says.

What the fuck are they saying…?

“Did Frank help you?” Brendon spits.

“No actually, Ryan did.” Gerard laughed harder.

**Although id love for my Frankie to help me…**

I seriously regret reading Gerard’s mind just then…ewww!

“That’s it Gerard, your dead!” Brendon says as he launches at Gerard.

I walk down the hall to my locker, leaving my two best friends to attack each other. They only do it until the other says it’s over. They always fight but never really bad only a few times it’s ended in blood noses and broken hands. Gerard always wins because…well...it’s Gerard; the sassy diva can pack a good punch.

“Josh!” I hear Mikey say as I get to my locker.

“Hey Mikey.” I reply.

Mikey and the rest of my group apart from Brendon and Gerard come up to me. We all say our hellos and I notice Mikey looking around the group carefully.

**Where is Gerard?**

Mikey thinks while scanning the group for a second time.

“Um…Josh…where is Gerard?” Mikey asks.

“And Bren…?” Ryan adds.

“They are fighting down the hall a bit.” I shrug.

“Fuck not again! Why?” Mikey says.

“Because they both try to out sass each other but we all know who wins sassy contests…” I say.

Everyone nods as I turn to open my locker. I hear Mikey panic in his mind. It’s weird, I normally have to focus to read the minds of others but if it’s a distressed thought or important to me then it automatically pops in my head. Mikey says he is gonna find Gerard and Ryan follows. Eventually everyone leaves to their lockers and im left in peace.

**Holy shit this school is bigger than I thought…**

I hear a stray voice in my head. It’s unrecognizable and slightly weird. The voice is scared and pained with guilt laced around it. It belongs to someone I don’t know…someone guilty perhaps? Either way it gave me chills.

**Fuck I don’t wanna be here! God why am I here? Oh that’s right; smartass parents like mine decide to move to fucking Columbus to help me ‘start over’…gosh I just wanna die…**

The voice belongs to a male. Does the boy really want to die? I hope not…

**Stop fucking looking at me before I snap your neck like Johnny’s!**

Snap your neck like Johnny’s? Who is this boy talking about?

**What class do I have…oh shit art…great…**

Okay whoever this voice belongs to is in my class…I guess I’ll find out sooner than I thought.

**Fuck it’s harder to control than I thought…don’t do it…shut up! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP BLURRY! I CAN’T DO IT!**

The voice turns fearful; anger mixing with the pure fear. What is hard to control and who is Blurry? I am pulled out of my thoughts as the bell sounds. The voice doesn’t return as I head to the art room.

“Hey Josh.” Gerard greets me.

Gerard has a few bruises but nothing much; like I said, they don’t hurt each other too bad.

“Hey Gee.” I reply as we take our seats before others get in.

I start to draw because what else is there to do when you’re as shit as I am at art?

“Attention class! This is Tyler Joseph; he is new to Columbus from…where?” The teacher starts, looking at Tyler.

“Cleveland.” Tyler says in a voice I recognize.

He is the boy in my head…the mystery boy…cute mystery boy!

“Yes. Now Tyler will be sitting with a student of my choice.” He says as he skims his hazel eyes around the classroom.

“Joshua Dun.” He says as I shrink in my seat.

That’s fucked! Of course I have to try and explain art to someone cute and try not to blush and try not to look like I have no clue what im doing and fuck! Tyler gets pointed to me and walks over shyly. He sits in the chair quietly. He is cute to say the least. He has chocolate brown, fluffy hair that looks soft and is short on the sides but slightly longer on the top. His skin is tan with a slightly pink shade on his clear and smooth face. Man, he is really pretty! His eyebrows are straight, brown and unshapen. Messy and thick yet it suits his face perfectly! His eyes, oh god his eyes tell a story of a boy who’s seen too much; almond shaped, brown and lined with short eyelashes. He has no visible cheekbones, a medium sized nose and amazing lips. His lips are slightly dry yet soft looking. They are pink, medium sized, untouched-the lips of the unkissed, they also are bitten a lot, by himself of course. He really is a masterpiece!

I feel an elbow hit me as I turn to Gerard. Gerard motions me to look down at a piece of paper. I read the paper and it says ‘Stop fucking staring at the new kid, you look like a creep! Im going to get shit from my locker, coming?’ I look up at Gerard and shake my head to signal no. He gets up and leaves.

**Good job fuckwit teacher, put me next to someone who hates me already!**

I hear Tyler think. Oh how wrong he is…

**Joshua Dun…cute…I like that name a lot.**

I try not to blush as I hear him say my name in his head.

**Fuck Tyler, you are not going to form a crush the moment you get here! Just do your work.**

Oh god I love reading minds! I keep doing my drawing as Tyler draws silently next to me. Tyler’s voice hasn’t gotten into my head again yet.

**Oh my god Tyler stop thinking of Josh! Yes he is hot and fuck yes I want him but stop! I will only hurt him if I talk…it’s best to keep away from everyone…im a danger to him…to everyone!**

A danger…how? Wait…he wants me?! I knew it! I smile and blush without noticing.

“What are you blushing and smiling about?” Gerard says while walking back in the room as I jump.

“I…err…um…n-nothing…” I mumble embarrassed.

**God his voice is even better than his looks! No Tyler shut up!**

I blush more as Gerard shakes his head. The rest of the lesson goes fast and silently. Eventually Tyler disappears down the dark and crowded halls of the school.

“How was art?” Brendon asks with a smile as Gerard and I walk to our table in the cafeteria.

“Good. How was losing the fight?” Gerard smirks.

“Good.” Brendon says as they laugh.

We sit down and talk for a bit. All I can think about is Tyler Joseph and what he thought of me. You know how I was describing my type of guy I want? Well Tyler is exactly my type! Gosh nobody has ever made me blush like he did and he didn’t even speak to me! I play with my salad while Patrick talks about a new song he wrote.

**AHHH! FUCK IT HURT’S SO BAD! PLEASE GOD HELP ME! SAVE ME!**

That’s Tyler…what is wrong?! I get up and say im going to the bathroom as I rush out. I run down the halls until I am met with a scene I didn’t expect to see. I see Tyler pinned against the lockers by a group of boys while another punches his stomach.

**Focus Tyler, control yourself…don’t do it! Last time this happened you had to move, just breathe!**

Tyler said to himself as he closed his eyes and seems to be focusing.

**Shit they have reopened the cuts probably…fuck they don’t know how lucky they are! I could kill them just by one simple glare but I won’t because I’ve fucked up once and promised not to do it again! Tyler focus!**

Wait…he can kill them by a simple glare? What does that mean? What do I do? I decide to think fast and get into the kid’s head.

_‘Leave Tyler alone and fuck off!’_

The kid who was punching Tyler stops and stares at him.

“Wh-who said that?” he asks, looking around in shock.

I hide as he shrugs and starts punching again.

_‘LEAVE HIM ALONE!’_

He stops again and looks around. As he looks around Tyler lift’s his head and stares hatefully at the kid. In a split second the kid drops dead. Tyler’s eyes widen and fill with tears.

**NO TYLER YOU FUCKING IDIOT! NOT ANOTHER!**

Did Tyler just kill him? Surely not…

“G-Guys…um…let’s…let’s go!” Another boy says as they follow him fast.

Tyler falls to the floor in pain. I notice him shaking violently. As I watch him, he gets up and mumbles a ‘fuck life’ as he stumbles down the hall and out the school. I decide to follow him and see if I can find out what the hell just happened.


	4. Tyler's POV

I run into the forest with tears falling and anxiety flying. This is great Tyler, how are you gonna tell your fucking parents and therapist you killed another guy?! It was his fault...

 _It was your fault for being a freak_ Blurry says in my head.

 

**Josh’s POV**

Tyler ran and climbed a tree while I hid behind some, watching the crying boy.

“FUCK!” Tyler screams as he pulls at his brown hair.

He looks distraught. I hope he is okay…

**I need something to kill me. I am tired of taking my own life…**

Tyler says in his head. He needs help…hopefully I can help.

**I never meant to hurt no one…I wonder where the guilt has gone…somebody kill me please because I have no heart to break. I never meant to hurt Johnny, I knew I'd never be the same again. God im sorry, I understand if you don’t love me and now I know that I'm not sure I even love me anymore…**

It hurts my heart and I feel tears fall as Tyler say that in his mind. It’s so poetic yet sad…so sad…

**Fuck im late! I was meant to leave school early for this!**

Tyler thinks as he looks at his phone. He quickly climbs down the tree while wiping his face. He then runs out of the forest…where is he late to?


	5. Tyler's POV

“So Tyler, why are you late?” Helen says as I rush into her room.

“I-I…I was in the f-forest…” I say as I sit down.

“How are you?”

I shrug and look out the window. It’s a gloomy day like always. How am I gonna tell Helen I killed another person? I could go to jail!

_Tyler you’re such a bad person…_

“Tyler, what are you thinking about?” she asks, probably silently praying I don’t answer the way I answered last time she asked.

I shrug again.

“You don’t know or don’t wanna talk about it?”

I shrug.

“Come on Tyler, you will feel better if you did!”

I shake my head while looking out the window.

_You feel that?_

What?

_It’s guilt. You’re crazy if you think you can kill someone and not feel guilty!_

I am guilty…I am a horrible person! I act like im fine and dandy, like the murder of Johnny didn’t faze me but in all honesty im lying to myself and everyone around me. I feel terrible for killing him. I was never the same since the murder. I never meant to hurt him…it just happened…and now im on the run and go. I killed him and I regret it so much right now. I tried telling myself it was his fault and that im not to blame but I am. I am a bad person, a fuck up that shouldn’t be alive. I should have died not Johnny…how does Helen still think im sane? I killed someone, I Tyler Robert Joseph am a MURDERER! This self-loathing is eating me alive…this guilt is drowning me…

“H-how do you s-sit there a-and not w-worry I w-will k-kill you?” I stutter while looking out the window; longing for death to take me before the guilt does.

“Because Tyler, I trust you. I know you won’t because you already are dealing with the guilt of Johnny’s death and adding another load of guilt would be too much for you.” She says confidently.

Silence takes over for about five minutes. I stare out the window still. Why me? Why am I the crazy person that kills people? I couldn’t control myself when I killed them…im crazy…im evil…im unpredictable and I hate that. I hate that I can’t control this fucking curse! I hate that I can so easily kill someone and never get into trouble for it! I hate it! I HATE ME! I stare but my eyes are glassed over with tears that threaten to spill.

“I need something to kill me, im tired of taking my own life…” I softly sing.

It’s a song I wrote not that long after Johnny’s death; when I was starting to feel the guilt trap me. I know it’s only 14 words but those 14 words hold so much power…It’s true, I need something to kill me…

“What?” Helen asks as she looks at me.

“I won't take much of your time, I just want you to see, what I have made inside these lines, It's as good as I can be, It's as good as I can be, this is all that I can be, this is all that I can be, all that I can be…” I trail off singing another song I wrote.

“What are you doing?” She muttered while in shock.

“Head tilted down, knees on the ground, and I will ask please…save…” I whisper as a tear falls down my face.

I keep looking out the window while wiping my tears.

“Are you okay Tyler?” Helen asks.

Does it look like im okay woman?!

“Talk about it. It will help.” She says.

“I…killed someone…” I whisper as tears flow down my hot face.

“I know. Tyler it’s in the past, you were in pain.” She says.

I shake my head. God I hate myself so much!

“N-no…I-I…” I trail off not knowing even how to say that I killed ANOTHER person.

“Go on Tyler, say what you have to say.” She pushes.

“Im going home…” I mumble as I rush out of her office and start to run.

I run as fast as I can into the forest. The guilt is tearing me up! I climb the tallest tree I can see and sit watching the wind move the leaves. Eventually I calm down and go home. I get in the door as my phone starts ringing.

“Hello?” I ask.

“Hey Tyler, dad and I will be home tomorrow before you get home from school.” Mom says.

“Okay.” I say.

“You okay Ty?” Mom says.

“Yeah everything is just peachy mom…” I mumble.

“Tyler, what is wrong?”

“Oh nothing, just the fact that im a murderer and im always alone and im so tired, god im so fucking tired but I can’t sleep because there is this thing mom, this thing called guilt, I don’t know if you’ve ever felt it but it keeps me awake oh and also the voices telling me to fucking jump off a bridge keep me awake, and let’s not forget school mom, school is great! I have been beaten up about three times and everyone hates me already, don’t worry mom, im having a fucking blast while you’re out of town…” I frantically say.

I just lost it with my mom…I let it all out apart from what actually is wrong! Why is it so hard to tell her I killed another kid? Im so done with living I swear I will die a liar.

“Tyler, honey calm down. Everything is going to be okay, do you want me to come home now?” She says worried.

I love my mom but she just doesn’t see that everything ISNT okay.

“Nah im fine, Im sorry…I-Im gonna…im gonna go t-to bed…g-goodnight…” I say.

“You sure Ty? I can come home early! Are you eating?”

“Yes mom im sure, I just lost my cool, and yes im eating…” I lie.

I haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday. I don’t need food, I need a noose around my neck.

“Okay. Goodnight baby.” She says.

“Goodnight.” I say as I hang up.

I lay in bed looking up at the ceiling, just thinking about Johnny and the other kids families and how they don’t have a son anymore, how a brother, a son, a grandson was taken away from them and in the most unexpected way. I shouldn’t be here…I can’t take it anymore, I have to do it! I get up and go to my desk, pulling out a pen and paper.

 

_'D_ __ear Mom and Dad,_ _

_Im sorry this has to be how it ends for me but I can’t take it anymore; the guilt, the pain is just too much. When I killed Johnny, it changed me…you probably could tell. I became quiet, shameful, alone. What happened to the crazy and happy Tyler? I don’t know him anymore…_

_The night I killed Johnny, I also killed one more person…Tyler Joseph. Physically im alive…or was, but internally I died too. I never meant to hurt you all. Im sorry. Please don’t miss me, Im not worth remembering. Im just a stupid murderer that struggled to stay alive…_

_I love you both so much and im sorry this is the end. I wish I could have been a better son…_

_-xoTyjo’_

 

I finish writing the note with tears flowing. Am I really gonna do this? I leave it on my desk so they will see when they clean out my room once im gone. How am I doing this? I could cut…or swallow pills…or jump…maybe hang myself? Out of all the options the most appealing is hanging myself, but where? I haven’t got anywhere to hang from…

 _The forest?_ Blurry whispers in my ear.

Yeah…


	6. Josh's POV

I decide to go for a walk because I can’t sleep. Im worried about Tyler. He looked so sad. I get out of my house without my parents seeing and jog down the street. I slow to a walk once im out of view from the house. I look forwards to see the start of the forest. As I look closely I notice someone walking into the forest. What are they doing? I keep walking, noticing the person has stopped to tie their shoelace. It’s…Tyler?! What is he doing? I notice him start to head into the forest at a walking pace. Should I follow him? Omg Josh you dummy, read his mind! I keep walking as I focus my mind on Tyler and attempt to read his.

**Okay so which tree? That one is perfect!**

Tree? Perfect? For what?

I walk faster until I see him climbing a tall tree. He gets to a branch and sits looking out at the forest. I am two trees away, hiding.

**Holy shit, okay im gonna do this…then I’ll be free…**

Do what?

I notice a rope in his hands as he ties it into a-omg no way…he can’t…no Tyler no! Tyler ties the noose and slips it over his neck, then ties it to the tree branch. What do I do?! If I run and yell he will most likely fall off and die anyway…I could use my power…shit Dun what am I gonna do?!

**What was that song? Oh yeah, Trees. How the hell did it go again…im a-no that’s Goner…oh yeah!**

“I know, where you stand, silent, in the trees, and that's, where I am, silent, in the trees” Tyler start’s to sing.

His voice is perfect, sounds like an angel!

“Why won't you speak? Where I happen to be, silent, in the trees, standing cowardly” Tyler continues.

He just sits on the branch ready to hang. He keeps looking up at the sky and singing. Is he singing to someone? God perhaps?

“I can feel your breath, I can feel my death, I want to know you, I want to see, I want to say, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello…” Tyler trails off.

I can only just see in the moonlight, Tyler’s tearstained face. Why is he doing this?

**Here goes nothing…three…two…on-**

_‘WAIT!’_

**WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!**

_‘I...um…hey…’_ I say in Tyler’s head as he looks around.

**W-who are y-you…**

_‘Josh’_

**Okay…Tyler you’re going mad…this Josh kid isn’t real, you’re just crazy…**

_‘You’re not going mad Tyler…’_

**How do you know my name?!**

_‘I just do.’_ I say to Tyler telepathically.

I decided not to show who I am so he can’t come up to me in school and figure out who I am.

**How are you doing this Josh?**

_‘Telepathy.’_

**Oh…t-telepathy…r-right…**

_‘Why are you so weird about it?’_ I say defensively.

**Josh…c-can y-you see me?**

_‘No…’_ I lie.

**Oh thank god! Wait…can you still hear my thoughts…?**

_‘Yeah haha…’_

**Oh god. Well anyway…**

_‘Tyler, please stay alive…please…’_

**W-what? Why wouldn’t I be a-alive…?**

_‘I um…’_ Shit…I just told him I couldn’t see him and now im saying that…if I say I can see the noose, he will know I was lying about not being able to see him…

_‘I just felt like I needed to say that…’_

**O-oh…um…okay im g-gonna go home…b-bye…**

_‘Goodnight Tyler’_ I say as I see Tyler take the rope off and climb down the tree.

I follow Tyler quietly as he walks home. Tyler goes inside his house and I start to walk home. I can now go to bed knowing Tyler is fine. Let’s just hope Tyler doesn’t realize im the same Josh he knows from school…


	7. Tyler's POV

I walk into school and go to my locker. I didn’t get much sleep last night due to an uneasy feeling I had. I guess having a spirit or something talk telepathically to you is slightly weird and un-nerving.

“Hey fag! Did you kill Henry?!” a jock from the other day said as a group of angry jocks swarm around me.

“N-no…” I lie.

“Freak!” one says as I get pinned against the locker.

Fear washes over me. All I feel is fear. Fear of what I might do, fear of what will happen to me, fear of the unknown…

“Let’s get him!” One boy says as they start beating me up.

Control yourself Tyler…focus!

I open my once closed eye’s to see one of the boy’s starting to punch his friend.

“Bert what the fuck?” a guy goes.

“IM NOT DOING IT! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!” Bert says.

“What do you mean?” Bert’s friend asks.

“I CANT CONTROL MY ARM! I PHYSICALLY AM NOT DOING THIS! HELP!”

I, still pinned to the fucking locker, look over to my right to see Joshua Dun, the guy from my art class staring hard at Bert. What is he doing? He looks into my eyes all of the sudden. His eyes are filled with sympathy.

“Bryan, Bert, Jamie, Kert, Danny, my office NOW!” The principle yells as I fall to the floor.

I look over where Joshua was but I notice he has gone. Where did he go and why was he staring? I get up and stumble out of the school. I go home and go straight to bed. It was easy for me to fall asleep due to lack of slumber previously. Because I fell asleep early I wake up at 1:30am. I decide to go to the forest because there is nowhere better to go. As I walk to the forest I feel like someone is following me…everyone would be asleep surely…

As I sit at the tall tree I usually sit at I notice how Bert was saying he couldn’t control his actions…how couldn’t he? I decide to throw a tree. My eyes focus on a tree in front of me. I squint my eyes and think about the tree being ripped out of the ground one root at a time. Eventually the tree rips up and is floating in front of me. I quickly move my eyes to my right and the tree gets thrown right.

 _‘We meet again Tyler…’_ the voice in my head says as it startles me.

 **We haven’t met, you’re just a stupid voice in my head…** I think as I smirk.

_‘That’s harsh but true…I am a voice but im also a person too I guess…’_

**Who are you?**

_‘Joshua.’_

**I know your name…why are you in my head?**

_‘That’s for me to know and you to find out.’_

**Pft. Whatever Josh.**

_‘How did you move the tree?’_

**You said you couldn’t see me!** I panic.

_‘I-I can’t…I um…felt it…’_

**O-oh…well that’s for me to know and you to find out…**

_‘Fine. Hey we should talk more, meet me here again tomorrow at 4pm?’_

**Sure thing Josh.**

_‘Okay, bye Tyler.’_

**Bye Josh.**


	8. Tyler's POV

I sit in art class drawing as the teacher finally decides to show up.

“Okay class, im taking the roll.” He says as he pulls out a piece of paper with all of our names on it.

“Lucy?”

“Yeah”

“James?”

“Here.”

“Gerard?”

“Yep.”

“Tyler?”

“Here.” I say as I notice Joshua Dun walk into the classroom late.

“Joshua?”

“I prefer Josh thanks.” Josh replies.

“Joshua is here.” The teacher says, ignoring Josh’s request.

The teacher keeps calling the roll as I look at Josh. He is talking to Gerard. His name reminds me of someone…or something…? I keep drawing as I hear my name being whispered. I look up to see Gerard laughing and a red-faced Josh. Are they talking about me? Gosh I hate when people do that, especially hot guys! Gerard is hot but no way near as hot as Josh! Damn Tyler where have you heard the name Josh before?! I look up to see Josh watching me with an uncomfortable expression playing on his face; like he is waiting for me to do something.

 **God he is so fucking hot!** I think as I watch him go bright red and turn away smirking.

What is he smirking at?

“Joshua, haven’t had much sleep last night?” The teacher says as it clicks in my head.

Is Josh the same Josh that’s in my mind?! He can’t be…can he? Oh god imagine if he could hear my thoughts! I watch him carefully as he rubs his neck and nods his head.

“What were you doing Mr. Dun?” The teacher pushes.

Josh glances at me but quickly turns away once he sees me staring.

“I-I went for a-a walk…I couldn’t s-sleep…” He mumbles.

Oh my god it is the same Josh…

“Oh and where were you off to last night on your walk?” The teacher says.

“Um…t-the f-forest…” Josh says with a red face.

Josh is really embarrassed and im kind of glad. If he is the fucking voice I swear I will kill him! I couldn’t sleep last night thanks to that motherfucker!

“The forest? At what time?” The teacher replies.

“Why?” Josh mumbles.

“Because I want to know.”

“A-about o-one t-thirty…” Josh says.

He is the voice.

 **FOLLOW ME!** I say in my head so Josh will know who im talking to.

I get up scrunching my drawing and violently throwing it in the bin on the way out of the classroom. I walk fast down the hall and out the school. I eventually reach the forest and stand in the middle where I met the voice last night.

 **You’re the fucking voice!** I yell in my head.

_‘Yes I am a voice…’_

**Describe your looks…**

_‘Um…Red hair…muscle but not too much…tall but not too tall…’_

**Okay. Im going home.**

_‘Um…okay…b-bye Tyler…’_

**Bye.** I say in my head as I walk out of the forest and to my house.

As I get to my house I notice my parent’s car parked in the driveway. I walk inside and am met with the sound of the television going and the smell of food cooking.

“Hey…” I mumble as I walk into the kitchen.

“Hey honey, how are you?” Mom says as she hug’s me.

“Good.” I say.

“Feeling better?”

“Sure…” I say holding back tears.

“That’s promising” Mom says sarcastically.

“Mom, can I talk to you for a sec…” I ask.

“Sure honey.” She says as we walk upstairs to my room.

We sit down on the bed and she watches me with worry.

“I-Im just g-gonna say it…mom I-I killed s-someone…” I whisper.

“I know.” She says.

“No…a-another person…” I say with tears threatening to erupt.

“You what? Who and why?!” She says standing up.

“Mom I swear I didn’t mean to! He was beating me up and god it hurt so bad and I tried to control myself but I couldn’t…mom im sorry!” I say fast as I start to sob.

“I-I…It’s…its okay baby…” Mom says as she hugs me.

“Im a bad p-person!” I sob harder.

“No Ty, you’re just an innocent boy stuck with a gift you can’t control.” She comfort’s me.

“What’s going on?” Dad says as he steps into my room.

Mom let’s go of me and looks at my dad. You see, dad is nice and all…but he can also get really angry…like _really_ angry…

“Tyler um…well…hurt someone again…” Mom says softly.

My dad turns to me in anger and asks if the kid is alive and I shake my head while sobbing again.

“YOU KILLED ANOTHER INNOCENT LIFE?! TYLER WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?” He screams.

I shrug as he turns red with anger.

“YOU’RE NOT MY SON! YOU’RE A MURDERER, A HOPELESS, GUILTY MURDERER THAT SHOULDN’T BE HERE!” He screams as he pulls my mom out of the room, leaving me a sobbing mess.

I end up falling asleep with pure hatred filling my body. I hate myself so much!

_‘Fear is all I feel…_

_“Faggot!” Johnny yells as he pins me against a tree._

_Fear controls me as Johnny smirks with evil showing in his eyes. My legs shake as pain rocks through my bleeding body. I hold my breath hoping this is just a dream but as I watch the drunken Johnny stumble back I feel a foot connect with my stomach. As Johnny kicks me I notice him feeling through his pockets for something. At this point time was non-existent. It felt like slow motion. Johnny laughs wickedly as he pulls a shiny object from his back pocket._

_“Im going to finish what should have been done years ago!” Johnny says as I realize what the object is; a knife…_

_He stumbles forward; launching his hand with the knife towards me. I dodge his hand as the knife collides with the tree behind me. I watch him try to get the knife out of the tree._

_Kill him… Blurryface mumbles behind me._

_If you don’t, you’re going to end up dead… He continues._

_I clear my throat as Johnny turns sharply; in fear I think._

_“Now Johnny boy, that’s not very nice is it?” I say in a sing-song voice._

_Johnny manages to pull the knife out of the tree’s grip and launches at me. The knife slices through my shoulder as he laughs._

_“AHHH!” I scream in pain._

_Kill him Tyler! NOW! Blurry yells._

_Johnny stumbles back as I get up and look into his eyes._

_“Now that’s just pissing me off Johnny boy! Why hurt me like that and expect to get away with it?” I smile._

_I stare at Johnny as I focus on his neck. I imagine his neck snapping slowly. I could almost hear it. I laugh as he falls to the forest floor. I stand over the lifeless body and laugh._

_“Get up Johnny boy, get up Johnny boy, Get up cause the world has left you lying on the ground, You're my pride and joy, you're my pride and joy, Get up Johnny boy because we all need you now…” I sing to myself as I take the knife out of my body._

_I smile at Blurryface as I start walking home._

_I just killed Johnny…ha!’_

I wake up with sweat drowning me. I look at the time and realize its only 3am so I turn over and go back to sleep. I can’t believe I just dreamed of me killing Johnny again…


	9. Josh's POV

I stand at my locker and hide as I see Tyler walk into school. As he walks down the empty hallway I see a kid walk out of a classroom and mumble something to Tyler. Tyler did the most unexpected thing! Tyler keeps walking with an angry expression as he lift’s his arm, turning his fist into a gun and pointing it at the kid. Tyler shakes his head as the kid fly’s across the hallway and slams into the lockers untouched. It was amazing really! Tyler managed to push the kid without even touching him!

“Shut up fucker!” Tyler spits as he keeps walking.

I think he thought it was only them both in the hallway? I rush to art class before Tyler notices I just watched him do some Star Wars shit. Does he have the force? Nah surely Star Wars isn’t real…or is it? He could be Darth motherfucking Vader and he could have just used Force Push on the kid! I guess I’ll never know…

I sit in class continuing the drawing I’ve been doing for about three weeks when I notice Tyler isn’t here. He seemed pretty pissed yesterday in the forest…

“Yo dude what the fuck are you drawing?” Gerard laughs.

“It’s an alien with a cap and a top that says ‘I want to believe’…” I say defensively.

Before Gerard can reply the classroom door slams open and an angry looking Tyler stands glaring at me.

“Josh, follow me!” Tyler spits.

I look at the teacher and he has a shocked expression on his face; he just shrugs. Everyone watches me as I stand up and follow Tyler out the door. Silently Tyler leads me out the school and into the forest…is he going to kill me? He better not use Force Choke on me!

**He better tell the truth or im killing him! Wait…Josh are you reading my mind…?**

I stay silent and pretend I never did read his mind. Tyler looks back at me with anger flowing in his eyes.

“Okay…” Tyler says as we stop suddenly.

I look around and realize we are where we always go to talk.

“Josh, this might sound fucking crazy but you better tell the truth…” Tyler starts.

“C-can you read m-my mind…” He asks, shifting his weight from one foot to another.

“If I answer, you answer a question of mine.” I say crossing my arms across my chest.

“What? No.” He says in shock.

“Well then im not answering!” I say with a smile.

**God this boy will be the death of me!**

“Fine…” Tyler agrees.

“Yes.” I say.

“Wait…you actually agree that you can read my mind…?” Tyler says shocked.

“Well yeah…” I say rubbing my neck in discomfort.

“WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU SAY?!” Tyler yells.

“I did…”

“No you didn’t!”

“Yes I did. You asked what my name was and I said Josh, you then asked how I look and I told you I have red hair and other shit!” I say defensively.

“Why didn’t you show yourself?” Tyler asks, clearly still pissed off.

“First of all did you use Force Push today?” I ask.

“What the fuck is Force Push?!” Tyler asks.

“You know, like off Star Wars…they use The Force…?” I say as Tyler gives me a blank look of ‘What the fuck are you on?’

“Wait, you’ve never seen Star Wars?!” I say shocked.

Tyler shrugs.

“Well if it wasn’t Force Push, which by the way would be sick! Then how did you push the kid against the lockers today?” I ask.

Tyler tenses up and lets out a shaky breath.

“Y-you saw m-me…”

“Yeah.” I shrug.

“How did you do it?” I push.

“Telekinesis…” Tyler says quietly.

“Tele-what?” I say.

“Telekinesis also known as Psychokinesis…it’s where you can move stuff and do other shit with your mind…” Tyler says.

“That’s sick!” I exclaim.

“It’s a fucking curse!” Tyler says as he looks down.

“Did you kill the kid that was beating you up at school?” I ask.

Tyler looks at me with anger returning.

“Shut the fuck up and answer my question!” He says in anger as I hold my hands up in surrender.

“Geez…I didn’t show myself because I was scared you would hate me or treat me differently at school if you found out I have the power of Telepathy…but I was going to tell you when I saw you throw the tree a-“ I get cut off by a soft punch to my shoulder.

“What was that for?” I ask looking at Tyler.

“YOU SAW ME?!” He screams.

“I-Im sorry…” I say quickly.

“You lied to me…”

“Im sorry Tyler!” I yell as Tyler runs out of the forest to his house im assuming.

I walk out of the forest and go home. Man I feel bad for lying…


	10. Tyler's POV

I sit in class drawing a tree when I feel the presence of someone behind me. I turn around in my chair and see Josh standing and smiling. I turn back around and keep drawing, ignoring him completely.

 _‘You know you can’t ignore me forever…’_ Josh says in my head as he leans over the table next to me; looking at my drawing.

 **You know I could snap your fucking neck!** I reply in my head.

‘Aw Tyler-‘ I cut Josh off in anger.

“Fuck off Josh!” I yell.

“Mr. Joseph, I know that you’re new but this language is not tolerated in this class!” The teacher huffs.

‘Tyler im sorry…’ Josh says as I pack my things and walk out of the classroom.

 

**Josh’s POV**

I follow Tyler as he walks down the hall; anger flowing through him, I can tell. As I keep walking I notice him look back at me and stop walking.

“What?!” Tyler says.

“What do you mean what?” I say in shock.

Tyler huffs as he looks at the cleaner’s closet. All of the sudden the door to the closet slams open and I am being pushed inside. Nothing is touching me yet I can’t stop moving closer to the closet. Tyler is doing this…he is pushing me into the closet! Well Tyjo my boy, two can play at that game!

**Fuck I hate this! I could kill Josh right now…he knows too much…but I can’t…I-I like him…a lot! Maybe I’ll just tell him to stay away from me…**

Tyler thinks as I read his mind. I soon slam against the wall inside the somewhat empty closet as Tyler walks calmly towards me. Is he going to kill me? Tyler stands in front of me; he gets lost in my eyes and I get lost in his…that’s until he looks away at the door and slams the door shut. I hear the lock in the door click indicating he locked the door. Why is his power so cool? He can do all sorts of thing and I can only read minds and telepathically talk to people…

**Fuck his lips look so soft and kissable…oh god and his eyes, oh fuck his eyes are amazing!**

I read Tyler’s mind. I wonder what would happen if I started teasing him? It’s obvious he likes me so if I flirted with him, what would happen…? Im 99.99% sure I like Tyler and may even love him eventually! Tyler stares at me as I smile.

“What do you want Dun?” Tyler says in an angry tone.

“You Joseph.” I smirk.

Tyler’s cheeks turn red as he looks down. This might be more fun than I thought…

**God I want you too Josh…wait what the fuck Tyler shut up!**

Tyler thinks as my smirk grows.

“Me?” Tyler repeats, it sounded more like a question than a statement.

“Yeah. You want me don’t you?” I say; where did this sudden burst of confidence come from? All I know is that it makes Tyler nervous.

“No…” Tyler mumbles while avoiding eye contact.

“Oh…so you don’t want my soft, pink lips pressing against your puffy lips and you don’t want me pinning you to the wall and graciously making out with you?” I say as I notice Tyler swallowing hard.

I look at Tyler and notice his pants getting a bit tight so I decide to keep going, this is fun!

“You don’t want me grinding down on your small body, pleasure flowing though you as I moan softly into your ear…’oh Tyler…oh baby harder!’…” I moan as he looks up and into my eyes with fire in his.

Tyler presses me up against the wall but now physically; our faces inches apart. I feel his hot breath on my neck.

“Listen to me Joshua and listen carefully, I am not going to be your little one night stand for you to go back to your friends and laugh about! I will kill you if you fucking try to hurt me I swear to god I will!” Tyler hisses as I feel the anger radiate off him.

“Tyler, I’d never do that…” I say slightly offended.

“Good.” He says but doesn’t move.

“I make you so nervous don’t I.” I smirk.

Tyler looks into my eyes as he thinks.

**God I want to kiss him so bad…**

“Then do it.” I say.

“Fuck…I forgot you can read my mind…” Tyler says as he goes red.

“Shut up and kiss me.” I say as I grip his collar and pull him closer.

Our lips collide and I feel an overwhelming sense of love. He is all I need, he is all I want. At first he freezes and doesn’t kiss back but after a while his lips move in sync with mine. I feel Tyler lean closer as I wrap my hand around his neck, moving him closer as my other hand rests on his hip. Tyler’s hands move across my chest as he begs for entry. I let his tongue explore my mouth as I make a moaning sound in my throat. We keep kissing as my hands move to Tyler’s hips, eventually getting to his ass. I lift Tyler up and onto my hips as I turn us around. Tyler, now pressed against the wall with both legs resting on my hips, breaks the kiss so we can breathe. Tyler looks up as my lips start to suck on his neck, finding his sweet spot.

“J-Josh…w-we need t-to s-s-stop…” Tyler stutters as he holds back a moan.

“Why” I say in-between sucks.

“C-cause we a-are at s-school…” He mumbles.

“Agh.” I sigh as I stop sucking on his now bruised neck.

I decide to mess with Tyler more just to annoy him so I start kissing him again. Tyler’s lips move with mine again as I kiss him harder. I begin to grind against him as I feel his hard member against mine. Tyler moans quietly as I press harder.

“O-oh g-god Josh…ahhh…” Tyler moans.

I keep going as pleasure flows through both Tyler and I.

“J-Josh…I-Im going to…” Tyler pauses to let out a moan.

“S-stop…” Tyler continues.

I keep pressing hard and fast against him as I feel a familiar hot feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“Come for me…” I whisper into Tyler’s ear as he grips hard onto my shirt.

“J-Josh, stop, im going to…oh god…oh fuck, FUUUUCCCCKKKK!” Tyler screams into my neck as he comes in his pants.

That was enough to send me over the edge as I come too. Once we finish I let Tyler down and he struggles to find his balance.

“J-Josh…wow…” Tyler mumbles.

“Yeah…” I say as I catch my breath.

After about five minutes of catching our breath’s Tyler looks at me and we burst out laughing.

“Josh you’re an asshole!” Tyler says as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“What can I say, im good with men…” I say as Tyler looks down at his crotch.

“Shit Josh now I got to go home! These were my favorite jeans.” Tyler whines.

“Worth it, am I right?” I shrug.

“No.”

**Yes…**

I smile at his lie.

“Want me to come walk you home? You live like a few houses away from me.” I ask.

Tyler shrugs as he looks embarrassed.

“Come on princess.” I say as Tyler glares at me.

“Im not a fucking princess!” He pouts.

“You sure?”

“Yes…”

We manage to walk out of school and down the street without anyone noticing our little…um…situation. I don’t know why I did that or how I got the confidence to but I guess it was the feeling of want overpowering right from wrong. Either way I kissed and…pleasured? Tyler Joseph. Mission accomplished. We get to Tyler’s house and he turns to me with a tired look on his face.

“Come lay with me? My parent’s won’t be home for a while, they’re probably at work.” Tyler mumbles.

“Sure princess.” I smirk.

“Stop calling me that…” Tyler hides his blushed cheeks behind his sweater paws.

We walk inside and the first thing I notice is how huge his house is. My house is double story and has a pool but this is…it’s almost a mansion! Everything is neutral colored and clean. Tyler leads me into the kitchen. I sit on a stool and Tyler walks over to a note on the bench.

“Of fucking course…” Tyler whispers to himself.

**They always leave me…am I that bad that they can’t even live with me? Fuck I hate myself!**

I frown at Tyler’s thoughts.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

Tyler scrunches the note and throws it in the bin.

“My parents are on their way to Italy for some business trip…” he sighs.

“Oh for how long?” I ask.

“About three months…” Tyler says as he grabs a glass of water.

Tyler looks incredibly sad because his parents are away. Does this happen often? What fucking parents leave their sixteen year old son home alone for three months anyways?!

“You okay?” I ask as Tyler takes a gulp of water.

He shrugs. I stand up and walk over to him. I grab the glass and set it on the bench behind me as I hug him. Tyler melt’s into the hug as if he hasn’t been hugged for a while. We continue to hug as I hear Tyler start to cry into my shoulder. Poor kid. Tyler continues to cry as I rub comforting circles on his back.

“J-Josh…” Tyler start’s but is cut off by his own sob.

“Shhh Ty, everything will be okay…” I say as Tyler shakes his head.

“N-no…everything isn’t okay Josh…nothing ever will be…” he sobs.

I pick him up bridal style and go upstairs. I look in each room upstairs until I stumble across a bedroom.

“This your bedroom Ty?” I ask.

“Y-yes…” he says as he yawns.

I walk in and lay him on his bed. I notice his room is pretty big and his bed is fucking massive; a queen sized bed I think! Lucky mofo! I pull the blankets over Tyler after I take his shoes off and he turns over to go to sleep. He looks exhausted.

“J-Josh, don’t leave m-me…” He mumbles.

“I won’t Ty.” I say as I kick my shoes off.

“Get into bed with me.” Tyler whispers sleepily.

“First you and I need to change.” I say.

“Top draw has pj’s, change in here or the bathroom.” Tyler says as he shut’s his eyes.

“Noooo Tyler, you need to change too!” I say as I pull the blanket’s off him, earning a whine from the sleepy boy.

Probably not a good idea to put Tyler in bed before he changed; note so self.

“What pants do you want?” I ask as I open the draw.

“Hello Kitty ones.” Tyler says as he sit’s up rubbing his eyes.

“Okay princess.” I smirk.

“Fuck off.” Tyler grumbles.

I laugh as I throw boxers and hello kitty pants to Tyler. They hit him in the head and he sighs.

“Im going to go to the bathroom…t-to get changed…” Tyler says suddenly.

“Okay.” I say as he hurries in and locks the door.

His family must be loaded with money because he even has an en suite!

**Holy shit am I going to do this? Fuck I need to…but im a few days clean…oh god I have to!**

Few days clean from what…? He’s not going to do what I think he’s going to do…is he?

**Fuck where’s my razor! Tyler where did you put it? Think!**

Nausea hit’s me as I listen closely to his thoughts. What do I do?!

“Hey Tyler…um…I need to…um…use the toilet…?” It came out sounding more like a question but I hope Tyler doesn’t notice my panic.

“Okay…” Tyler’s soft voice ring’s through the door.

Tyler unlocks the door and walks out in his pj’s.

“Cute!” I say with my eyebrows raised.

“Shut up Dun.”

“Try and shut me up Joseph.” I smirk.

Tyler shakes his head as he looks at the bed. As he watches the bed, the blankets neatly fold back so he can get in. Tyler walks over and gets in, noticing me staring.

“Going to go to the bathroom?” He asks with a smirk.

“Oh yeah…” I say as I walk in.

I use the toilet and walk back out to see Tyler almost asleep.

“Come sleep with me.” Tyler says.

“I’ll message my mom and tell her im staying at Gerard’s house so she doesn’t freak out.” I say as I sit on the bed.

“Fuck.” I sigh as I notice my phone is on the other side of the room.

“What?” Tyler asks concerned.

I point at my phone and tell him what im complaining about.

“Oh, no stay here.” Tyler says as he looks at my phone.

“That’s sick!” I say as my phone floats to me.

“So sick!” Tyler replies.

_Message To: Momma Dun-_

_Joshua: Hey mom, im going to stay at Gerard’s tonight. Be home after school tomorrow. Love you xo_

_Momma Dun: Okay honey, say hi to Gerard and Mikey for me. Love you too xoxo Goodnight Joshua <3_

_Joshua: Goodnight momma xo._

“Okay all good.” I say as I put my phone on the bedside table.

I turn over and see a sleeping Tyler. He looks so beautiful when he sleeps! I lean over and kiss his forehead.

“I think im falling in love with you…sweet dreams Babyboy…” I whisper.

I turn over and let sleep take over. What a great way to go to sleep!


	11. Josh's POV

“TYLER! WAKE UP!” I yell as Tyler keeps screaming and frantically pleading for help.

“JOSH! JOSH STAY AWAY, I DON’T WANNA KILL YOU!” Tyler screams as sweat cover’s him.

Is he having a dream that he’s killing me?

“TELL MY DAD IM SORRY! TELL MY DAD IM SORRY!” Tyler yells.

“HELP PLEASE!” Tyler adds.

“TYLER IT’S A DREAM, WAKE UP!” I shout as I shake him.

“NO JOSH STAY ALIVE!” Tyler screams as he wakes up in tears.

Tyler looks around and land’s his eyes on me. He burst’s into tears as I feel myself being pushed off the bed and onto the floor.

“Tyler, what the fuck?!” I say slightly pissed off.

Tyler just pushed me off the bed with his power…

“Im s-sorry…” Tyler sobs.

I get up onto the bed again and hug Tyler.

“Josh…im dangerous…stay away from me…” Tyler pleads.

“You won’t hurt me.” I say confidently.

“Josh, I threw you off the bed…im a fucked up person…I shouldn’t even be here…” Tyler sobs.

“Shut up.” I say as I hug him protectively.

We hug in silence until Tyler calms down.

“Thanks Josh…” Tyler says.

“No problem Ty.” I say.

We sit in silence for a few more minutes until my curious self decides to break the silence.

“Tyler…who is J-Johnny…?” I say as he looks at me in fear.

“Um…why…?” He says looking down and biting his lip hard.

“Because in your sleep, when you were having the nightmare…you kind of said you’d kill me like you did Johnny…did you kill someone named Johnny?” I reply rubbing my neck.

Tyler goes quiet and I notice his lip bleeding from being bitten hard. Did Tyler really kill someone? Did he kill the bully at school too?!

**Fuck what do I say?! Quick Tyler think!**

“And remember, I can read your mind…” I say as he goes pale.

Tyler begins to shake and sweat. His breathing becomes uneven and he closes his eyes. He looks like he’s going to faint…

“You okay Ty?” I ask concerned.

Tyler begins to cry…no not cry, sob, and sobbing hard! He uncontrollably shakes as tears flow.

“I…can’t…b-breathe…” he whispers, barely auditable.

“Oh god Tyler deep breaths, in and out…” I say as I realize Tyler is having a panic attack.

Tyler stands up and I notice just how much Tyler is trembling. His panic attack is bad!

“Tyler where’s your phone? Im going to ring your mom!” I say fast as I get up.

Tyler shakily point’s to his phone and I get it quickly going onto the contacts and calling his mom.

“Tyler, what are you doing up this late, it’s two in the morning!” Tyler’s mom answers.

“Hello Mrs. Joseph, its Tyler’s friend Josh.” I say.

“Oh…sorry, Hello Josh how are you and Tyler?” She says.

“Im fine but I need help! Tyler is having a panic attack.” I say.

“Oh no…put me on speaker so Tyler can hear me, fast!” She says.

I put the phone on speaker and stand near the trembling Tyler.

“Tyler? Tyler deep breaths. Do what Helen said to do.” Tyler’s mom says as Tyler goes out of the room.

I follow Tyler; holding the phone with Mrs. Joseph on the other end. Tyler walks downstairs and into the basement where I notice a piano is.

“Josh what is Tyler doing?” Mrs. Joseph says.

“He is going into the basement to play the piano I think…” I say.

“Okay now Josh listen to me carefully, you will hear Tyler play the piano and possibly scream or sing or something, just don’t go in. He does this to calm down when he panics. Just sit out the front of the door and wait for him.” She says.

Tyler plays piano? And sings? Sick!

“Okay. Thanks for your help Mrs. Joseph.” I say as I hang up.

I sit at the door as I hear Tyler start to play the piano. Eventually I hear Tyler start to sing.

“Hello, We haven't talked in quite some time, I know, I haven't been the best, Of sons, hello, I've been traveling in the desert of my mind, And I, Haven't found a drop, Of life, I haven't found a drop, Of you, I haven't found a drop, I haven't found a drop, Of water…” Tyler sings.

His voice sounds so lost…so sad…so hurt…

I hear the piano play and it melts my heart.

**Where are you God?!**

Tyler says in his head as the piano fills the house. He is singing to God…

“Water…” Tyler sings.

He drags the ‘err’ out and it sounds so raw and emotional. He sounds like he is pleading with God or something…

“I try desperately to run through the sand, As I hold the water in the palm of my hand, Cause it's all that I have and it's all that I need and, The waves of the water mean nothing to me, But I try my best and all that I can, To hold tightly onto what's left in my hand, But no matter how, how tightly I will strain, The sand will slow me down and the water will drain, I'm just being dramatic, in fact, I'm only at it again, As an addict with a pen, who's addicted to the wind, As it blows me back and forth, mindless, spineless, and pretend, Of course I'll be here again, see you tomorrow, but it's the end of today, End of my ways as a walking denial, My trial was filed as a crazy suicidal head case, But you specialize in dying, you hear me screaming "father", And I'm lying here just crying, so wash me with your water…” Tyler raps.

He is incredible! He sings and raps with so much emotion! I have tears in my eyes!

I hear the piano start to sound like its being played violently. It sounds like Tyler is bashing the keys with emotion.

“WATERRRRRRR!” Tyler screams.

This song must mean a lot to him because no one I’ve ever heard has sung with so much raw emotion! He keeps bashing the piano.

“Hello, I haven't talked in quite some time, I know, I haven't been the best, Of sons, hello, I've been traveling in the desert of my mind, And I, I haven't found a drop, Of life, I haven't found a drop, Of you, I haven't found a drop, I haven't found a drop…Of water…” Tyler finishes in tears.

I can tell he is crying by his voice. He goes straight into another song I don’t know.

“I don't wanna fall, fall away, I don't wanna fall, fall away, I'll keep the lights on in this place, Cause I don't wanna fall, fall away” Tyler sings.

I sit and listen to Tyler go through that song and a few others. He seriously has me in tears! He is so good and the lyrics are so emotional but so down…

I erupted into tears when Tyler sang a song that I don’t know the name of but it went something like ‘I won't take much of your time, I just want you to see, what I have made inside these lines, it’s as good as I can be…blah blah blah’ there was a part in the song where Tyler just screamed for God to save him…he just screamed it like it was only him and God listening…it was so powerful! I get up and turn around to wait for Tyler to come out but the door suddenly swings open. Startled, I look at the tearstained face of Tyler who is still sitting at the piano. He looks at me as he gets up and walks over to me.

“Thankyou…” He whispers.

“F-for what?” I ask slightly confused.

“Ringing my mom…and helping me…” He says as he looks down.

“It’s okay, im always here for you!” I say.

“Let’s go to sleep, its 4:30am.” Tyler says as we go upstairs and into bed.

Tyler quickly falls asleep but I can’t help but stay awake thinking of Tyler.

The boy who I once thought was normal turns out to be such a sensitive troubled kid with an uncontrollable power…I think I am in love with Tyler Joseph…and im okay with that.


	12. Josh's POV

I wake up to Tyler peacefully sleeping next to me. I check the time on the clock and realize we are going to be late for school!

“Tyler, wake up! We will be late!” I say shaking him.

“Agh…” Tyler mumbles into the pillow as he curls up into a ball.

He is so cute in the morning!

“Ty, come on.” I say shaking him.

“Fuck off mom…” Tyler says while trying his hardest to sleep a little longer.

“Im Josh not your mom…” I smirk.

“Suck a dick Josh!” Tyler says as he lies on his back with his eyes still closed.

“Fine.” I say as I get on top of Tyler and straddle him.

“Oh my god Josh what the fuck are you doing?!” Tyler flicks his eyes open in shock.

“Sucking your dick…” I smirk.

“That was sarcastic but hey, my dick is free to be sucked anytime babe…” Tyler says as he looks into my mocha brown eyes.

“I would you see, but…school is in five minutes…” I say.

“Five minutes is a lon-FIVE MINUTES?!” Tyler gets up, making me fall on the ground in the process.

“Sorry…” Tyler laughs.

We get dressed and get our bags packed ready for school.

“Hey Ty, I just realized, we can telepathically talk though class!” I say with a massive grin.

“OMG YES!” Tyler replies.

We get to school only just late and part ways. I have math first; fuck my life!

I sit in math while Patrick and Pete keep asking me where I went yesterday. What do I say? What if they ask Tyler as well and he gives a different answer?!

 _‘Tyler, can you hear me?’_ I telepathically ask Tyler.

**Yeah what’s up?**

_‘Dude my friends keep asking me where I went yesterday, what should I say?!’_

**I don’t know…**

_‘What are you going to say?’_

**I don’t have anyone to say anything to…im a loner remember?**

_‘Fuck…sorry Ty…’_

**All good, im used to being alone.**

_‘Im so bored! I’ve got math, what about you?’_

**P.E**

_‘Fun…’_

**Yeah…**

_‘Meet at my locker after school?’_

**Yeah sure. Agh dude I got to go, coach is making us run laps…like I can be bothered!**

_‘Aww princess is doing laps of the oval!’_ I say as I hear Tyler sigh in his head.

**Bye Joshy.**

_‘Bye Tyjo.’_

 

**Tyler’s POV**

It’s lunchtime. I walk into the cafeteria and see Josh sitting at a table with his group of friends. I walk to a lonely, empty table and sit down. Im not too hungry so I just sit and pick at my sandwich. I haven’t been eating much lately. It’s not like im starving myself; I’ve just lost my appetite since the panic attack.

 _‘Hey Tyler, why are you sitting alone?’_ I hear the familiar voice of Josh in my head.

 **Because no one want’s to sit with me…but im fine Josh, don’t worry…** I reply.       

Man I wish I had a group of friends…but I can’t because im dangerous. I have Josh and I worry I will hurt him without meaning to but I don’t know what it is about him that makes it impossible to keep away from him…

_‘Ty…want me to come sit with you?’_

**Nah Josh, stay with your friends.**

I look up to see Josh staring at me. One of his friends leans over and grabs his attention, saying something to him. He says something as all his friends turn and look at me. Wow…they all are talking about me…

 _They are saying how they hate you and they are laughing at you…_ Blurryface says into my ear as I notice the group of jocks talking and turning back to me; all having smirks.

What do they want?

 _To hurt you…_ Blurry says.

What the hell Blurry? I thought you were gone.

_Im always with you Tyler, I arrive when you need me._

And when do I need you?

_When everything starts going good._

Well Burry, kindly fuck off!

 _As you wish…_ Blurryface says.

Wait…did that just work?! Is Blurry gone?

_Nope, just waiting for you to need me again._

Fuck…

I look up again and see Josh and his friends talking. Why don’t I have any friends? Oh yeah, my fucking curse!

 _‘Ty, my friends wanna meet you…’_ Josh says in my head.

**Want to meet me?! Why?**

_‘Because Ray noticed me staring at you and I told them you’re a really good friend and pretty cool…’_ Josh says with an embarrassed undertone.

**Um…o-okay…**

_‘Ty, don’t be scared.’_

**Im not…** I lie.

I get up and throw my food into the bin as I walk over to Josh and his friends.

“Ahhh, so you’re the once Josh has his eyes on…” A guy says as Josh gives him a death glare.

“Guy’s this is Tyler, Tyler this is Brendon, Dallon, Gerard, Frank, Patrick, Pete, Mikey, Ray and Ryan.” Josh introduces me to all the tough looking guys.

Note to self-Don’t get on their bad side, they will flatten me…who am I kidding, I can kill all nine of them in a second…

“Dude, are you mute?” Brendon asks.

I look at him with wide eyes. I can feel a panic attack slowly coming.

**Josh…I-Im…g-gonna have a p-panic attack…**

Josh shoot’s me a worried look as he stands up.

“Um guys…I need to tell Tyler something…be back in a sec…” Josh says as he grabs my arm and pulls me fast out of the cafeteria and into the closest bathroom.

“Ty, you okay?!” Josh says worried.

“I-Im f-fine…just p-panicking…” I stutter.

“Tyler, listen to me, breathe in and out slowly.” Josh says carefully.

I let a tear fall down my cheek as I begin to hyperventilate. I feel myself losing control of my breathing.

“Tyler, calm down.” Josh says.

“JoshPleaseHelpMeImDying!” I say in one short and fast sentence as I begin to shake.

Josh looks at me with worry. He grabs my face and smashes our lips together. I melt into his kiss and we make out for a few seconds before he pulls away.

“You okay now?” He asks.

I nod but he notices im lying. Yeah the kiss was great, but it didn’t help my panic attack much…

He wraps his warm arms around my shaking body as I cry into his shoulder. I cry for about ten minutes before my panic attack finally goes away. Josh breaks the hug and looks at me with sympathetic eyes. He wipes my tears off my cheeks as I smile at him. He is all I want…I _need_ him.

“Tyler, what made you panic?” He asks as I look down, biting my lip in the process.

“Meeting your friends…” I say.

“Oh…if you don’t want to sit with us, we can sit by ourselves.” He says as he looks at me.

“No, im fine…I just panic at first when meeting a heap of people…” I mumble.

“Okay, as long as you’re okay Babyboy…” Josh says as he smiles due to my face heating up from the nickname he gave me.

“Babyboy? Kinky…” I smirk as he laughs while rubbing the back of his neck.

“Shut up and kiss me.” He says as I immediately kiss his soft plump lips.

We break the kiss and walk out of the bathroom and head back into the cafeteria. Josh sits down next to Gerard and I sit next to Josh quietly. They all look at me as I bite my lip.

“So…” Brendon starts with a smirk on his face.

 _‘If any of them say something stupid just ignore it, they are dickheads sometimes.’_ Josh says as I look at him.

**O-Okay…**

“You two dating?” Brendon asks.

“Got a problem if we were?” Josh replies as I look at him with wide eyes.

**Josh what the fuck?**

Josh just smiles at me and turns back to Brendon.

“Nah dude, im gay.” Brendon replies.

Brendon is gay?! I thought Josh’s friends were the typical jock; smoking weed, getting with girls and overall are homophobic motherfuckers…

“Good and no we aren’t dating.” Josh says.

 _‘Yet…’_ Josh says telepathically to me as I notice a smile playing on his lips.

“Tyler, tell us about yourself.” Patrick says.

I look at Josh and clear my throat.

“Um…I-Im Tyler J-Joseph and im I-in Gerard and Josh’s art c-class...” I say as Gerard cut’s me off.

“Yeah he is actually pretty good at drawing.” Gerard says.

“T-Thanks…” I say.

“What else?” Patrick says.

 **Josh what do I say?! Help!** I panic.

“Tyler is kind of a quiet dude, only speaks when needed. He is super funny and sarcastic. He play’s piano and sings like an angel…” Josh says as he looks into my eyes.

Josh keeps staring as I stare into his. This is the boy im falling for…

“Are you guy’s going to kiss yet?” Brendon says as Josh looks away.

“Um…and that’s all really that I can think of for now…” Josh says as he gives me a sideways glance.

“Well you seem pretty okay Tyler. Im Mikey and im also kinda quiet. Gerard is my big brother and he is the artsy dude who is in love with Frank, the short fucker there.” Mikey point’s at Frank as frank goes red.

“Mikey shut the fuck up!” Gerard says.

“Fuck you.” Mikey says back.

“Fuck yourself.” Says Gerard.

“Go fuck a cow!”

“Go fuck a toaster and turn it on!” Gerard replies.

A toaster?

“Go fuck your mom!” Mikey says.

“She’s your mom too dumbass.” Gerard says.

“Okay so yeah Im Frank Iero, the short one…” Frank says attempting to change the subject.

“Go fuck a whale!” Gerard almost yells.

“How many times do I have to say that im not interested in you like that Gerard?” Mikey smirks.

Gerard goes silent and gives Mikey a deadly glare.

“Um...so…” Josh says.

“Guy’s, have you ever seen how mooses run? It’s fucking funny as!” Frank says.

“That isn’t the plural of moose. It’s moosi.” Mikey cut’s in.

“Fuck off, it’s meese!” Gerard says.

“Guy’s, have you ever seen how meese run? It’s pretty funny.” Frank says while shaking his head.

“Nah I haven’t, is it cool?” Pete says.

“Watching a video of them running in slow motion is pretty sick.” Frank says.

 _‘Sick…’_ Josh says in my head.

I let out a giggle as everyone looks at me.

 **So sick!** I say as I stop giggling.


	13. Tyler's POV

I meet Josh at his locker like we planned earlier. Today was uneventful apart from the weird conversation at lunch and Gerard and Mikey getting detentions for telling each other that they are ‘the better fucking way brother!’…the teacher heard them both swearing I guess. Josh walks to me with a big smile.

 _‘Hey princess.’_ Josh says in my head as he stands in front of me.

I lightly hit him on the arm as we begin to walk home.

“So where are we going?” I ask.

“Your house or mine?” Josh replies.

“We will go to mine because my parents are out.” I say.

We eventually get to my house and I unlock the door.

“Hey Ty…can I ask you something?” Josh says as we walk into the kitchen.

“Yeah…”

“What um…exactly are we?” He asks.

I look at him with wide eyes. What are we? We haven’t said we are dating but we sure as hell act like it…I mean, we kiss and shit but what if he doesn’t want to form a relationship?!

“Whatever you want us to be I guess…” I mumble as he stands in front of me.

“Tyler Robert Joseph, would you be my boyfriend?” Josh asks.

I smile as he holds both of my hands.

“Y-Yes…” I reply.

Josh immediately pulls me in for a kiss. We keep kissing, his tongue exploring my mouth as he pulls me closer to him. His hands on my ass and my hands on his chest. This reminds me of when we were in the closet…only im not pissed off at him anymore. We pull apart to breathe as he start’s to suck on my neck, leaving bruises. Thank god my parents are in Italy; imagine them walking in on their son making out with a guy in the kitchen! Josh connects our swollen lips again as I close my eyes. Josh makes a moaning sound in his throat as he sticks his tongue in my mouth. I kiss him harder, feeling my pants tighten.

“J-Josh…I-I…” I say, not even sure what I was trying to say…

He picks me up so my legs are around his waist and props me on the bench, not disconnecting our lips at all during the process. We keep kissing as I feel his hard member against me. I lower a hand and touch his crotch as he lets out a loud moan. I want him. I know it hasn’t even been a day into the relationship but I need him. I touch him again as he breaks the kiss and looks down at my hand rubbing him though his jeans. He looks up into my eyes and picks me up again. He carries me upstairs and into my room, throwing me on the bed as he crawls over me. He hovers over me as I look into his eyes.

“J-Josh…I need y-you…” I whisper.

Josh’s eyes widen as he realizes I want to go all the way.

“Have you ever had sex?” Josh asks.

“N-no…” I say ashamed.

 _Liar._ Blurry says to me.

“Babyboy, there is nothing to be ashamed about. I’ve only done it once.” Josh says.

“O-oh…”

“But I think you should wait until you’re more sure you want to lose your virginity yet.” Josh says, still hovering over me.

“O-Okay…sorry…” I say.

“Baby, don’t be sorry! We can do other stuff. Whatever you want.” Josh says with a smile.

“I l-love you Josh…” I say.

I just told Josh I loved him…I JUST TOLD JOSHUA DUN I LOVED HIM?!

“I love you too Babyboy.” Josh says as he connects our lips again.

He pulls away from the kiss and looks at me with a confused sort of look.

“Um…since you’re a virgin…do you know if you’re a top or bottom?” He asks.

“Do I look like a top? No I fucking don’t Josh. I want to be the one your fucking not the one fucking you.” I say as I laugh.

“Oh thank god. I like being the top…” Josh says as he leans downs and kisses my cheek.

“Well if we aren’t fucking now, then what do you wanna do?” I ask.

“Whatever you want Ty.” Josh says.

I have a good idea…

“Okay…” I smirk.

“Ty, why are you smirking?” Josh says confused.

I use my power to flip Josh onto his back as I climb on top of him.

“Tyler what the fuck are you doing?!” Josh says slightly panicked.

“Doing what you should have done this morning.” I reply as I get a confused look thrown at me by Josh.

I shuffle down his legs and begin unzipping his jeans.

“Tyler, you don’t have to!” He says in shock.

I shut him up by pulling his jeans and boxers down in one swift motion with some help by Josh lifting his hips up. His throbbing cock is now on show as I look at him for permission. He smiles and I take the hard member in my hand as I notice it leaking precome. I flick my thumb over the tip as he bites down on his fist to stop himself from moaning. I move my hand up and down his length. Josh start’s moaning as I go faster and faster.

“T-Ty-ler…oh god! T-Ty…” He moans.

I smile at him as I lower my head and take him into my mouth. My plump and swollen lips stretch around him as I begin to suck. Josh moans uncontrollably as I begin to bob my head up and down. I run my tongue along his cock as he keeps moaning.

“TYLER HOLY FUCK!” He moans as I begin deep-throating his penis.

I keep going, making moaning sounds in my throat as he begins to get close.

“T-Tyler...I-Im g-gonna…ahhh…shit…” He moans as he arches his back.

“OH GOD TYLER FUCK, FUCK ME!” He screams as he comes hard into my mouth.

He sinks into the bed mattress as he comes down from his orgasm.

“Oh my god Tyler…” Josh says as he pulls his pants and boxers up while I swallow.

It tastes…salty? Not as bad tasting as I was expecting…

Before I could say anything I am thrown onto my back as Josh straddles me.

“Gotta return the favour…” He says as he unzips my jeans.

“Oh god…” I moan as he pulls down my jeans and boxers.

He wastes no time. He grabs my cock and starts pumping me slowly. Im not gonna last long I can tell.

“Oh shit Josh!” I moan, extending the o.

He keeps a slow and even pace but I want more. I need more.

“Josh faster…f-faster…” I say as he quickens the pace.

I keep moaning as he pumps me.

“J-Josh im gonna…OH SHIT JOSH FASTER! AHHH FASTER, QUICK! OH GOD, OH GOD JOSH IM GONNA-“ I come into his hand.

“Holy shit…” I mumble as Josh pumps me though my high.

He takes his hand away and licks the come off his hand while giggling. I pull my boxers and pants up as Josh stands up off the bed and walks towards the bathroom. I get up and follow him.

“You know, that was the best blowjob I’ve ever had.” Josh said as he wash’s his hands.

“Good.” I reply.

Yes I said I haven’t had sex but who said anything about fucking myself? Don’t judge me.

Josh turns around to face me as he kisses my cheek.

“I love you Ty.” He says.

“I love you too Jish.” I reply.

“Jish? Cute.” He smiles.

We sit in the lounge and watch TV for a while. Im leaning on Josh with my head on his chest as we lie down on the couch. I begin falling asleep.

“Ty?” Josh whispers.

I don’t answer as I slowly keep drifting off into slumber. I feel Josh move and pick me up bridal style as he takes me to my room.

 

**Josh’s POV**

I lay Tyler down on the bed as he sleeps. I quietly take his pants off and pull the covers over his sleeping body. He looks so cute when he sleeps! I lean over and get my phone as it dings.

_Message from: Momma Dun-_

_Momma Dun: Hey Josh, where are you? I haven’t seen you for a while._

_Joshua: Im at Gerard’s._

I know it’s bad to lie to my mom but what am I going to say? Oh yeah mom im at my boyfriend’s house, he sucked me off and now is asleep, im staying over at his tonight…

_Momma Dun: Joshua, don’t lie to me._

_Joshua: Im not…_

_Momma Dun: That’s funny, I rang Gerard’s mom to see if you were there after school and she said you weren’t…get your ass home right now Joshua!_

_Joshua: Mom im sorry…please im fine just let me go to sleep and I will message you when I wake up._

_Momma Dun: No. Come home right now or you’re grounded!_

_Joshua: Fine…_

I lock my phone and get up, grabbing my belongings and turning back to see Tyler fast asleep. I love him so much! I go down stairs and grab a bit of paper and a pen as I begin writing Tyler a note saying im going home.

‘Good morning baby, I had to go home last night because my mom was having a spaz at me. I will see you at school. Love you xo Love from Josh.’

I sit the not on Tyler’s bedside table and kiss him goodbye and head home.

“JOSHUA! GET HERE RIGHT NOW!” Mom yells from the lounge room as I walk into the house.

I walk in to see my mom sitting on the couch with an angry expression.

“Sit down.” She says firmly.

I sit down and wait to be roasted by mom.

“Where were you?!” She says.

“With my friend…” I say.

“Who?”

“Um…T-Tyler…” I say as she keeps staring at me.

“Josh, why did you lie to me?”

“B-Because I thought you’d flip it if I went to Tyler’s house…” I say.

“Josh, is Tyler your good friend?”

“Yes.” I say.

“Really good friend?”

“Yes…” I say as mom smiles.

“What are you smiling at?” I ask.

“Your boyfriend?” She says as I nearly choke on air.

“Um…” I mumble.

“Honey, you should have said that you and Tyler were dating! I want to meet the boy.” She smiles.

“S-So you’re not gonna tell me to stay away from him?” I ask.

Frankly, I am shocked. I thought mom was one of those women who are like ‘No you’re too young for relationships!’ but I guess she isn’t…

“Of course not Josh! Love who you want to love.” She says.

“He can come for tea tomorrow night.” She says.

“Um…okay…” I say as she smiles.

“Now Josh, I know you will hate me for this but you need to listen.” She starts.

I hate her already. I know what she is gonna say; I read her mind.

“Now Josh have you ever…um…had sex?” Mom says as I shifts uncomfortably.

I nod my head.

“Well…with a guy?” She asks.

“No…” I say.

“Okay. You know to use protection right?” She asks.

“Yes mom…” I say.

“Stay here, I’ll be back.” She says as she leaves me sitting in the lounge room.

Do I tell her that Tyler is a virgin? Do I tell her that Tyler and I are gonna wait until later in the relationship to have sex?

“Here.” Mom says as she walk into the room throwing me a box.

I look at the box and realize she gave me a box of condoms…thanks mom?

“Um…” I say in shock.

“Oh also here is this.” She says as she hands me a bottle of lube.

“Mom what the hell?!” I say in shock.

“I knew this day would come eventually so I got stuff ready. Josh I know it’s weird but I want you to be protected. If you need more just let me know and I will get more.” She says.

“Mom Tyler and I haven’t had sex together!” I say.

“Okay but what if you do and Tyler gives you an STI?” She says.

“He’s a virgin…” I mumble.

Mom’s face falls into a shocked expression.

“Well if that’s the case then be careful with him Josh. Don’t make him do it, let him decide when he’s ready.”

“Okay.” I say as my sister walks into the room.

“What’s going on?” She says casually.

“Um nothing…Josh, im going to bed…goodnight.” Mom says as she pulls my sister out of the room before she realizes what mom gave me.

“Goodnight.” I call back as I look down at the lube and condoms.

What a weird night…


	14. Tyler's POV

**Wait…so your mom gave you condoms and lube…for us to use?** I say in my head to Josh.

 _‘Yeah…she was super okay with our relationship and then she gave me the stuff and was all “You be careful with Tyler” and it was just so weird…’_ Josh telepathically replies.

**Yeah…weird…**

_‘Also mom wants you to come for tea tonight…’_ Josh says.

I choke on nothing and begin to cough loud.

“Mr. Joseph, do you need to step out for a drink or something?” Mrs. Wells says.

I shake my head as I catch my breath and stop coughing.

_‘Tyler? You okay? Helloooo?’_

**Sorry I was choking…um sure, meet at your locker.**

_‘Okay, bye babe.’_ Josh says as my cheeks heat up.

**Bye Jishwa.**

“Hey, let’s go.” Josh says to me as I walk to his locker.

Meeting his parents are scary! What are they gonna think of me? What if the father hates me!

“Tyler, what’s wrong?” Josh asks as my breathing quickens.

“N-Nothing…” I mumble, barely audible.

“Ty, what is making you panic?” Josh stops and grabs my arm.

“I-I…”

“Say it Ty.” Josh pushes.

“W-What if your p-parent’s hate me?!” I panic.

“My mom wont, trust me.” He smiles yet his eyes look kind of sad…

“And what about your father?” I say.

Josh looks down and rubs the back of his neck.

“Um…I d-don’t really have a-a d-dad…” Josh whispers.

“Oh my god Josh im sorry!” I say fast.

 _Great job Tyler, you made Josh sad! You should feel really guilty now…_ Blurry whispers in my ear.

I look down while tears threaten to spill.

“Um…let’s go…m-moms waiting…” Josh mumbles as we start walking.

There is a thick and saddening silence as we walk towards Josh’s house.

**Josh’s POV**

We keep walking towards my house silently. I don’t mean to make Tyler feel bad; I just get like this when talking about my dad…it’s kind of a touchy subject…

We get to my house and I walk forward to open the door when Tyler burst’s into tears.

“Tyler?!” I say as I turn around; concern and worry dripping off me.

Tyler holds his head in his trembling hands while crying. I wrap my arms around him and let him cry into my shoulder.

“Ty, what’s wrong?!” I say.

“I-Im sor-sorry Josh…” Tyler cries into my shoulder.

“Ty it’s okay, honest.” I reply as I rub circles on his back.

After about five minutes Tyler finally stops crying and wipes his eyes. He looks at me and I smile softly. My babyboy has red eyes and a pout.

“Let’s get inside, it’s pretty cold out here.” I say as he nods his head.

I open the door and we walk in.

“You have a nice place…” Tyler says looking around at the old-style house I grew up in.

I walk ahead towards the kitchen as I hear mom cooking.

“Oh Joshua! How was school?” Mom smiles as she walks to me and kisses my cheek.

“Good…um Tyler’s here…” I say quietly.

“Oh good! Go get him!” She says overly-happy.

Mom is one of those moms who loves their kid’s friends. She loves seeing Gerard mostly but I think that’s because mom loves art; she isn’t artistic whatsoever but she loves looking at paintings and shit so Gerard normally paints her something. She likes all my friends too though. I go to Tyler and telepathically say for him to come with me. Tyler follows behind as I walk towards the kitchen again.

“This is Tyler.” I say.

“Nice to meet you Mrs. Dun, im Tyler Joseph.” Tyler says as he shakes my mom’s hand.

Mom looks at him surprised; none of my friends have ever had such good manners. To be completely honest, it kind of turns me on to see Tyler so formal…

“Oh please, call me Momma Dun; Mrs. Dun makes me sound old.” She says with a smile.

“Sure thing ma’am.” Tyler says with a smile.

“So Josh, you’ve picked a handsome one haven’t you.” Mom says as she turns back to her cooking.

“Um…yeah I have…” I say uncomfortably.

“And Tyler, are you staying for dinner?”

“No it’s okay, I don’t want to intrude on your dinner.” Tyler says.

“Don’t be silly! Your part of our family now. We are having pizza tonight I think; this is for the homeless shelter not us. Are you gonna stay?” Mom says.

Tyler looks at me as I smile at him.

“Okay. Thanks Momma Dun.” Tyler says with a smile.

“Anytime Tyler.” Mom replies.

“Now, one last thing.” Mom says before we leave to my room.

“Josh your door stays unlocked when im home and if you are doing any funny business please, do it when im not here.” She says with a smile as I see Tyler go bright red.

“MOM!” I say as she looks at Tyler.

“Im sure Josh has told you what I’ve given him last night; remind him to use them please Tyler.” Mom says to Tyler as he looks at me.

“Um…I-I can assure y-you Mrs. Dun, that J-Josh and I won’t b-be doing t-that stuff anytime s-soon…” Tyler said uncomfortably.

“Okay, well it’s just in case things don’t go to plan.” Mom says as Tyler looks at me with a get-me-the-fuck-out-of-this-room-now face.

“Okay, Tyler and I are gonna go upstairs…” I say as I pull Tyler upstairs before my mom could reply.

We get in my room and sit on my bed. Tyler is quiet as I watch him bite his lip. I’ve noticed he does that when he’s nervous.

**Fuck Josh probably thinks im a loser for being a virgin…**

I read Tyler’s mind as he keeps looking done and biting his lip hard.

**Im getting too close to him…I don’t want to hurt him…fuck I should be dead! Im such a guilty fuck…Johnny was innocent…I should be dead not him…**

Tyler lets a tear fall, hoping I don’t notice. I watch as he keeps biting his lip.

“Why are you staring?” Tyler asks as he catches my eyes locked on him.

“Um…just thinking…” I lie.

Tyler nods slowly.

“You seemed different around my mom, you seemed confident and grown up.” I say with a smile. “Yeah…” Tyler mumbles.

**Shame it’s all a cover-up for the fact that im actually terrified and want to die…**

My smile falls and I feel pain in my chest. Why does Tyler want to die so bad? Do I not make him feel better? It saddens me to see the love of my life hurting so bad that he wants to end his life…I wish I could take away all his pain…

“Um…anyway…” Tyler says cutting through the thick silence.

“Your moms nice.” Tyler smiles.

He is so good at covering up his emotions…if I couldn’t read his mind; I would think he is just a normal boy.

“Yeah she is; just weird sometimes.” I laugh.

“Josh, if I were to um…ask to do it, what would you say?” Tyler says.

“No. I don’t want your first time to be only you pleasing me, I want it to happen naturally.” I say.

Tyler nods his head in agreement.

“So what do you wanna do?” I asks.

“Not sure…” Tyler says.

“Movie?” I ask as Tyler nods.

We go downstairs and I put on Fight Club. We cuddle on the couch watching it.

“Boys, pizza is here!” Mom yells as we get up and go into the kitchen.

“Thank you Momma Dun.” Tyler says as he takes a piece of pizza.

“No worries honey.” Mom says.

We sit down and eat a piece of pizza. I finish before Tyler and I get another piece.

“You’re a slow eater.” I smile at Tyler as I notice he’s only had two bites and im on my second piece.

“Um…yeah…” Tyler responds as I notice an unidentifiable expression playing on his face.

**Tyler, you’re not hungry, this will go away just don’t keep eating otherwise they will think your fat!**

My eyes widen as I look over at Tyler.

“Eat.” I say with a fake smile to mask the worry I feel.

“Oh…im not really hungry right now…” Tyler lies.

**God im so hungry! If I just had another bite-no Tyler! If you eat it, you have to throw up.**

I nearly choke on my pizza. Is he skinny because he doesn’t eat? You know, coming to think of it, I’ve never seen Tyler eat anything before…yeah he’s had two bites of pizza but im talking eating something properly…is he anorexic?!

**I don’t deserve to eat; Im so hungry though! Maybe throwing up won’t be that bad…**

I see Tyler take another bite, then another. He swallows and makes a face of shit-what-did-I-do?!

**Fuck! Im gonna be sick!**

Tyler pushes away from the table and runs to the bathroom. Mom looks at me with concern.

 _‘I’ll help him…’_ I telepathically say to mom as she nods her head.

I walk towards the bathroom and hear Tyler throwing up.

**Fuck…I knew if I ate id end up not being able to keep it down…hopefully Josh doesn’t worry about me.**

Too late. I stand in the doorway and see Tyler hunched over the toilet wiping his mouth.

**Two more times Tyler.**

I watch silently as Tyler shakes his head with tears falling. He doesn’t realize im watching him…

**One more time? Please?! Fine.**

Is Tyler fighting with himself? I watch as Tyler sticks two finger’s down his throat and gags, eventually he violently throws up. He breathes heavily trying to catch his breath as he leans against the wall exhausted. He has his eyes closed as he just sits silently. I think he hasn’t realized im here still. Tyler opens his eyes and looks at me in shock.

“Josh?!” he panics.

“A-are you o-okay?” I say.

“Y-yeah...im fi-“ Tyler cut myself off as he moves fast to lean over the toilet and vomits.

I walk over to him and rub circles on his back. He finishes and wipes his eyes.

“I-I think im d-done…” He whispers as he sits back.

“You sure?” I ask.

“Y-Yeah…thanks…” He mumbles.

“Let’s go get you cleaned up.” I say as I pick Tyler up bridal style.

I take Tyler upstairs into my room and put him gently on my bed. I go to my closet and get some clothes for him.

“Let’s get you in the shower, it will make you feel better.” I say as Tyler follows me into the bathroom.

I lay the clothes on the sink and smile at Tyler as he begins to take his clothes off.

“You okay to have one while I help mom clean up downstairs?” I ask as he nods.

“Okay. See you soon babe.” I say kissing his cheek and walking out of the bathroom.

**Did he see me vomit more than once?! Oh god Tyler you’re a fuck-up…**

I frown as I walk downstairs and into the kitchen.

“How’s Tyler?” Mom asks.

“Um…he vomited…” I said.

“Why?” Mom asks with concern.

“Well I um…read his mind…when he was eating the pizza…”

“And?” Mom signals me to continue.

“He was saying stuff like ‘they will think im fat if I keep eating’ and ‘Tyler if you eat the pizza you have to throw up’…he then ate two more bites and boom, he was leaning over the toilet vomiting…” I say sadly.

“Oh god…is he okay?!” Mom says.

“Um…h-he made himself v-vomit…” I say quietly.

“He what?! Josh is he anorexic?” Mom asks in surprise.

“Im not sure…I’ve never noticed him vomiting or anything; I’ve noticed he doesn’t eat in front of anyone but he has never vomited at school so far…” I say.

“Maybe he is scared to eat in front of people?” Mom says.

“Maybe…” I mumble as we finish cleaning.

“Well he’s in the shower right now so I will talk to him about it later.” I say.

Mom and I sit at the table waiting for Tyler. Mom reads a magazine while I log onto Kik and read the group chat.

_Bren: Yo bitches, party at mine Friday night. Who’s coming?_

_Ryan the cheez whiz man: Im in._

_Dicksucker Dallon: First off, who changed my name?! And yeah im in._

_Bren: …It was meeee!_

_Dicksucker Dallon: Fuck you Bren!_

_Bren: You already have._

_Ryan the cheez whiz man: Ummm…_

_Patty: Lets party!_

_Frankie: Is there gonna be alcohol???_

_Bren: Is that a question short-ass?_

_Frankie: Shut up! Yeah I’ll be at the party._

_Gee: Count me in fuckers!_

_Bren: Pete, Mikey, Ray and Josh, you all coming?_

_Mikeywave: Yeah._

_Pete the pirate: Hell yeah!_

_Ray of sunshine: Im in…wait Brendon, why the fuck is my name Ray of sunshine?!_

_Bren: Coz you’re a ray of sunshine ;)_

_Gee: True Ray…_

_Frankie: Yeah agreed._

_Ray of sunshine: Shut up Frank and Gerard, shouldn’t you two be fucking each other by now?_

_Pete the pirate: Oh snap!_

_Gee: Ray fuck off!_

_Frankie: OMG RAY!_

_Mikeywave: Ummm :O_

_Bren: Now Josh, answer your fucking phone!_

_Gee: Josh!_

_Frankie: Josh!_

_Pete the pirate: Josh!_

_Dicksucker Dallon: Josh!_

_Patty: Josh!_

_Ray of sunshine: Josh!_

_Mikeywave: Josh!_

_Ryan the cheez whiz man: Josh!_

_Bren: JOOOOOSSSSSHHHH!_

_Josh is DUN with you: Brendon, what’s with the fucking pun???_

_Bren: YOU’RE ALIVE! And I thought it was funny._

_Patty: *Phunny_

_Bren: So Josh, you coming to the party?_

_Josh is DUN with you: Um…can Tyler come?_

_Frankie: Who the fuhk is Tyler???_

_Bren: Josh’s fuckbuddy._

_Frankie: OMG I forgot we met Tyler already haha!_

_Josh is DUN with you: NO! HE IS NOT!_

_Bren: Fine…he is Josh’s boyfriend._

_Gee: Wait…is he Josh?!_

_Josh is DUN with you: …_

_Ryan the cheez whiz man: JOSHIE HAS A BOYFRIEND! CUUUTTTTEEEE!_

_Pete the pirate: How long have you both been dating for?_

_Josh is DUN with you: I never said we were dating!_

_Bren: What’s Tyler’s phone number?_

_Josh is DUN with you: <TYLERS NUMBER>_

_*Bren added Fuck Buddy Tyler to group chat*_

_Josh is DUN with you: Tyler isn’t gonna answer, he is in the shower._

_Bren: Cute, you both shower together!_

_Gee: Aww_

_Josh is DUN with you: Okay im going, bye._

_Bren: WAIT JOSH!_

_Josh is DUN with you: WHAT?!_

_Bren: Let me know ASAP if you and Tyler are coming._

_Josh is DUN with you: Whatever. Bye._

Im not sure if Tyler knows that I have his number…I forgot how I got it but I don’t think he knows. I get up and go upstairs to tell Tyler he is in a group chat with my friends and I. I open my door and see Tyler staring at his phone; fully clothed and hair dripping.

“Hey Ty.” I say before he lift’s his head.

He looks at me with tear filled eyes. Suddenly I am being pushed against the closed door. Tyler is using his power to hold me against the door while he looks back at his phone; still sitting on the bed.

“Um…Tyler, why are you pushing me against the door?” I ask.

He looks up at me with sad eyes.

“Is it true?” he says in a sad voice wrapped with slight anger and hurt.

“Is what true?” I say getting frustrated because he is using his power on me.

“That im your fuck buddy? Did I not make it fucking clear that I didn’t want to be some one night stand that you have then go back to your bitch-ass friends and laugh about?!” he says in anger.

“Tyler, what the fuck are you talking about?” I say as anger fills me.

“The fucking group chat Josh! Apparently im your fuck buddy! Im not!” He says as a tear rolls down his cheek.

“Ty, that wasn’t my fucking fault! Brendon was just being stupid.” I say, my eyebrows knitting together.

Tyler gets up and walk over to me while im pressed against the door still. He stands close so our faces are about two inches apart.

“Im not your fuck buddy…” Tyler says as he pouts.

“No shit Sherlock! I know that.” I spit.

I move my hand to grab his but he steps back with tears rolling down his face. I look at his pained expression.

“D-Don’t touch me…don’t fucking t-touch me…” he whispers.

“Tyler, why are you being so stupid about this?! It was just Bren being a fuckwit!” I say, anger radiating off me.

“Because…” he whispers.

“Because why?” I say.

He doesn’t answer, only looks down biting his lip.

“FUCKING ANSWER ME TYLER! I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE DAMN GROUP CHAT!” I yell in frustration.

“IT’S NOT ABOUT THE FUCKING GROUP CHAT JOSH!” Tyler screams as tears flow down his cheeks.

“THEN WHAT IS IT TYLER?!” I yell back.

“Just…shut up…” Tyler whispers.

“No Tyler, fucking answer me!”

“Shut up!” he says closing his eyes tight and biting his lip hard.

“Tyler, if we are in a relationship, we need to communicate. You need to tell me what the fuck is going on because one minute you’re pissed off about the group chat and then your yelling and now you’ve gone quiet! Just tell m-“

“JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP JOSH! OKAY?! YES IM FUCKED UP, YES IM PISSED OFF ABOUT THE GROUP CHAT! YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IVE BEEN THOUGH! DON’T FUCKING TEST ME BECAUSE IM DANGEROUS AND I DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU! JUST FUCKING BE QUIET AND LET ME BE!” Tyler screams in a mix of anger and sadness, helplessness if you will.

Tyler hides his face behind his hands.

“Josh…” Tyler starts.

I realize im not being pushed against the door anymore and move away from it.

“Boys, can I come in?” Mom says as she knocks on the door.

Tyler keeps crying as the door swings open. Mom walks in and sees Tyler crying before looking at me.

“I heard you both yelling…is everything okay?” She asks.

Tyler shakes his head before leaving the room. Mom looks at me.

“Is everything okay?” Mom asks again.

“Does it look like everything’s fucking okay mom?!” I spit with anger.

“Joshua, calm down.”

“No! Im done with this shit! The guy I fucking love hates me now! All I want is a good relationship mom, but nothing ever works for me!” I say as I start crying.

Mom comes over to me and hugs me.

“Josh, a good relationship still has fights. This is gonna blow over in a day or so.” She says.

“I will check on Tyler. I’ll be back soon; go to bed.” She says as I nod.

I get into bed and wait for mom to come back. A few minutes later mom comes in.

“He’s gone home. He seems pretty upset.” She said with a frown.

“Okay. Goodnight…” I mumble as I lay down.

“Goodnight Joshua.” She turns my light off and sleep takes over me.


	15. Josh's POV

I walk into the cafeteria and see my friends sitting at our usual table. As I sit down with them Brendon looks at me.

“What?” I ask Brendon.

“Where is Tyler?” He asks.

“I don’t fucking know.” I say as I play with my food.

“Had a fight?” Gerard asks.

I nod.

“I saw him this morning…” Mikey says as I look at him expectantly.

“He was getting beat up by some guys.” Mikey finishes.

My eyes widen.

“Is he okay?!” I ask.

“Well I saw him on the way here; he was in the bathroom crying…” Mikey shrugs.

I get up and go towards the bathroom. As I walk in I heard the sound of sobs. I walk around the corner and see Tyler in a protective ball sobbing. I walk over to him slowly and sit down next to him. He immediately leans into me and I wrap my arms around him.

“D-Don’t hate m-me p-please…” he sobs.

“Tyler, I would never hate you.” I say softly.

He sobs into my chest.

“Ty, what happened?” I ask with concern.

“I-I g-got beat up…” he says.

“And you didn’t use your power to stop them?!”

“J-Josh…look what h-happened last time I-I used my p-power…besides…I-I deserve a-all the pain I g-get…” Tyler whispers.

He wipes his eyes and tries to breathe normally again.

“Babyboy, you don’t deserve anything but joy.” I say.

He shakes his head but stays quiet. After about five minutes Tyler and I stand up and make our way back to the cafeteria.

“Hey Ty, you okay?” Ray asks.

Tyler looks at me, then nods. We sit down and we all start talking; Tyler stays quiet.

“Hey Josh and Tyler, you both coming to the party Friday?” Brendon asks.

“There’s alcohol…” he adds with a smile.

I look at Tyler and he nods.

“Yeah we will come.” I say.

I have a bad feeling about this but hey, im not gonna be a controlling boyfriend!

“Okay cool, this party is gonna be sick.” Brendon says.

 _‘SICK!’_ I say in Tyler’s head.

 **So sick!** He replies and laughs.


	16. Josh's POV

“You ready?” Tyler asks me as I put on a cap.

Tonight is the party and boy do I have a bad feeling about it. It’s just me being stupid I think. I just worry about Tyler and alcohol; Tyler said he’s never drank before…he promised me he wouldn’t get drunk though. I don’t know…I just have a bad feeling about this whole party idea…

“Yep. Let’s go Babyboy!” I smile, hiding the worry.

 

Where is Tyler?! God I knew this whole party idea wasn’t a good idea…

“Have you seen Tyler?” I ask Pete.

“Nah man, try the bathroom?” Pete replies.

I go towards the bathroom and swing the door open. I am met with a sight I didn’t plan on seeing; Frank had Gerard pressed against the wall as they made out.

“Gross.” I say as they look at me.

“Piss off Dun, were busy!” Drunk Gerard says with a smirk.

I walk out and decide to look through the house. Where is he?! I look through a few more rooms when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see a concerned looking Ryan.

“Dude, looking for Tyler?” Ryan says.

“Where is he?” I say.

I try to read Tyler’s mind but I am left with silence. Tyler isn’t thinking anything…

“Um…I saw Jason take him into the bedroom…they both are pretty drunk but apparently Tyler is really drunk according to Jason…” Ryan says.

“Who the fuck is Jason?!” I say as anger fills my body.

“He’s my sister’s boyfriend; he’s a drug dealer and is pretty bad.” Ryan says as he motions me to follow.

He stops out the front of what im assuming is a bedroom.

“I can’t go in, Jason will tell my sister some fucked up story and she will kill me.” Ryan says as he walks away.

By this point angry isn’t even the right word for how im feeling, furious is more like it. I swing the door open to see Tyler being fucked by this Jason motherfucker! How could Tyler cheat on me? I thought I was his forever…is it because we have never had sex? Is it because I wanted to wait until the perfect moment for Tyler to lose his virginity? Is it my fault?

“Oh god…” Jason mumbles as he gets off Tyler and hides his body under the bed sheets.

“What the fuck Tyler?!” I say in anger.

Tyler stays quiet and looks down.

 _‘I thought I was yours…why?’_ I say telepathically to Tyler.

Tyler doesn’t reply but I notice he is shaking.

“Get up, we’re going.” I say in a pissed off voice.

“Can you get out so we can get dressed?” Jason slurs, obviously drunk.

I notice Tyler doesn’t look very drunk…

“Tyler, I will meet you in the car.” I say, still mighty pissed off.

Tyler was supposed to have his first time with me! Now he lost his virginity to some drunk dude…

I walk out and find Ryan.

“Hey, what happened? You look like you’re going to murder someone…” Ryan says.

“Tyler fucked Jason…” I say as fury bubbles in me.

“Oh…” Ryan replies.

“Tyler doesn’t seem drunk either…are you sure he was drunk?” I ask.

“Well…” Ryan says as he thinks.

“He might have been slightly I guess…Jason told me he was pissed and so Jason was going to put him to bed…” Ryan says.

I honestly don’t think Tyler had more than one drink…

“Okay well Tyler and I are going to head home. See ya.” I say.

“Bye. WAIT!” Ryan says grabbing my arm.

I turn to him and signal him to keep going.

“Make sure you listen to Tyler’s side of the story…it might be different to what you think.” Ryan says.

“Do you know something I don’t?” I assume.

“Nah but im telling you because I know Tyler is a good kid…im just as shocked as you are that he cheated on you…” Ryan says.

“No. I don’t give a shit about Tyler now. He fucking cheated on me with a drug dealer, how could I possibly treat our relationship the same? Your right Tyler was a good kid…but he’s fucked this up…” I spit in anger as I walk away.

I get into the car and turn it on waiting for Tyler. He’s probably finishing what I walked in on! Fucking cheater! Five minutes go by and there is no sign of Tyler. Fuck him! I drive home. He can fucking walk!

Eventually I get home and slam the car door. Im still very angry at Tyler. I unlock the door to my house and slam it shut.

“Josh? Your home early…” Mom says.

I walk into the kitchen to get a coffee.

“How was the party?” Mom asks.

“Crap.” I say.

“Why?”

“Just because it was mom.” I say in anger.

I sip my coffee as it burns my tongue.

“Fuck!” I say as I feel myself slowly lose control.

“Where’s Tyler? I thought he was staying over tonight…” Mom asks.

“I don’t know, I left him at the party…” I mumble trying to keep my cool.

“Joshua! Go get him! You can’t just let him walk home on his own, plus it’s raining.” Mom says shocked.

“HE’S NOT ALONE MOM! HE’S FUCKING A DRUG DEALER IN A UGLY-ASS BEDROOM! FUCK HIM, HE CAN DIE FOR ALL I CARE! I HOPE HE IS WALKING IN THE RAIN ALONE!” I scream as mom looks over my shoulder.

“Josh…” Mom says still looking behind me.

“What?!” I say pissed off as I turn around.

Tyler is standing behind me with tear filled eyes and soaked clothes. He looks into my eye’s as tears begin to fall down his sad looking face. All my anger is replaced with regret and guilt. Im not sure why im feeling guilty; I wasn’t the one fucking another dude…

“Joshua! What the hell?” Mom says in anger.

I turn to her and see disappointment and anger in her eyes; I turn back to Tyler and see devastation in his eyes. What have I done…?

“Tyler, are you okay honey?” Mom says sympathetically.

Tyler brings a shaky hand to his face and wipes some tears which are soon replaced with fresh ones. Tyler turns and walks out the house. I think our relationship is done…what a great way to end it…

I try to read Tyler’s mind but I still get nothing…

“Joshua!” Mom yells.

I turn and look at her.

“Why are you being an asshole to Tyler?!” Mom says angry.

“What the fuck?! I should be the one you’re feeling sympathy for, he cheated on me! JUST FUCKING CARE ABOUT ME FOR ONCE!” I begin to scream at mom as tears fall.

I put my coffee down in the sink violently. I lean over the bench with my head in my hands sobbing.

“H-He was m-mine…I-it is all my f-fault…” I sob as I feel mom come behind me and pull me into a hug.

“Josh, I do care…im sorry. I didn’t know he cheated on you…honey, everything is going to be okay…” She says as I sob into her shoulder.

“I think some sleep will do you good.” She says as she takes me upstairs into my room and helps me get into bed.

Sleep takes over. Sadly, I can say I fell asleep thinking about Tyler’s hurt expression when I said that stuff about him.


	17. Josh's POV

“Josh, how are you feeling?” Mom wakes me up.

I look at her after letting my eyes adjust to the light. I sit up and shrug. It’s been about a week since Tyler cheated on me and all I can say is it was a miserable week. I’ve stayed in my room staring at a blank wall for most of the time. Im still hurt by Tyler cheating on me but I think it’s time to sort it out.

“Josh, Tyler’s mom rang me this morning…” Mom says as I look at her with a shocked expression playing on my face.

“Why?” I ask confused.

“Well…she is worried about Tyler…”

“Why?” I ask again.

“She said that Tyler has been…different…she said he’s been uncontrollably angry and depressed. She said he hasn’t left his room at all and isn’t eating. He has been lashing out in anger and not letting anyone near him. His dad went near him because they were arguing and she said Tyler pushed his dad against the wall or something and threatened to kill everyone…Josh I think Tyler needs you. Mrs. Joseph said Tyler never used to be like this, he used to be somewhat normal…whatever that means. She said Tyler is in a very bad place right now and she wants you to try and talk to him because when they try Tyler just loses it…” Mom finishes.

I sit and stare at her, processing what she just said. Tyler’s in a very bad place and it’s all my fault…

“Im gonna go over to his house after lunch.” I say as I read the time; 8:30am.

“Okay baby, get ready and maybe have a shower?” Mom says with a smile.

“Okay…thanks…” I say as I lay back down.

Five more minutes of sleep won’t hurt will it?


	18. Josh's POV

“JOSH!” Mom panics as she bursts into my room.

I sit up rubbing my eyes. What a pleasant way to wake up…

“Josh, hurry!” She says fast.

“What? Why?” I say startled by her sudden panic.

“It’s Tyler! His mom just rang and said he has run away and left a suicide note…” mom says in a hurry.

I spring from my bed and run down stairs towards the front door. I know where he is…

“JOSH WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!” Mom yells as I run down the street.

“TO SAVE TYLER!” I yell back as I pick up my pace.                                                               

I run into the forest. I stop as I hear Tyler’s voice singing a familiar song. The song he was singing at the piano the night of his panic attack…

“And I will ask, Please... SAVE!” I hear Tyler scream.

I run towards the sound of his voice and come to the tree where we first met. Tyler is sitting on the branch with a rope in his hands. I notice tears falling as he screams for God to save him. I panic as I try to think of what to say…

 _‘Tyler, don’t do it!’_ I telepathically say as I see Tyler look down at me in shock.

**How did you know where I was?!**

_‘I just did. Please come down and we will talk this out!’_

**Josh, I need to do this. Im not clean…im dirty…**

_‘What? What does that even mean?! Tyler just get down here NOW!’_ I say firmly.

**Or what? You’re gonna get me? I won’t let you Josh. Please just let me leave this place…im sorry but I have to do this…**

_‘No…Tyler please!’_ I start to sob.

**Josh don’t cry, you’re gonna be better off without me…**

_‘Tyler, if you die I will die too!’_ I say in frustration and despair.

**Please Josh don’t!**

_‘Then come down here!’_ I say.

 **JOSH JUST LET ME FUCKING DO THIS!** Tyler thinks, clearly frustrated by me stopping him.

 _‘Do it and I will do it too…’_ I say wiping my eyes.

**OH MY GOD JOSH! EVERYONE TELLS ME I HAVE TO FUCKING LIVE, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!**

_‘For you to live.’_

**FUCK YOU DUN!** Tyler yells in his head as he begins to climb down the tall tree.

 _‘Thankyou baby.’_ I say holding back another flow of tears.

 **Just…go home…** Tyler says as he gets to the bottom of the tree.

Tyler looks at me with pleading eyes. It breaks my heart to see the boy I love want nothing more than death…

“Tyler wait!” I say grabbing his arm as he begins walking away from me.

What looks like panic takes over Tyler as he swings around and pushes me backwards with his power. I look at him as I see tears form in the tiny boy’s eyes. He shakes violently.

“D-Don’t…touch m-me…” Tyler says shakily.

Why is he like this? Why is no one aloud to touch him anymore?

“Tyler…” I begin but am cut off by his violent voice laced with desperation.

“NO JOSH JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!” He screams as a single stray tear rolls down his cheek.

Tyler turns and runs out of the forest and towards his house. I get up off the ground and process what just happened. Is he angry with me because I touched him or because I stopped him from dying?

 

“What happened? Is he okay?” Mom bombards me with questions as soon as I step one foot into my house.

I shrug. Im exhausted mentally and physically.

“What? Tell me what happened Joshua!” She demands.

“I stopped him…” I say distantly.

“Then what?”

“I touched his arm and he pushed me away. He got really angry and told me to not touch him…” I say as sadness takes over my body.

“Right, we are going over to his house.” Mom says grabbing her keys.

“What?! Why?” I panic.

“To sort this all out. Josh, he might not have killed himself today, but what’s stopping him from doing it tomorrow?” She says pulling me out of the house.

We get in the car and start the five second drive. Im not sure why mom decided to drive; Tyler’s house is only a few houses down…

We get to his house and mom pulls me to the door. She knocks three times and waits patiently. Mrs. Joseph answers fast.

“Oh thank god you’re here Joshua, Tyler won’t let us into his room.” She says in relief.

I don’t think Tyler will let me in but I guess it’s worth a go…

“Go on, you know where his room is. Mrs. Dun, would you like a drink?” Mrs. Joseph says as I walk in and towards Tyler’s room.

I knock a few times but get no response. I knock again.

“FUCK OFF!” I hear Tyler scream.

“Tyler, it’s me…Josh…” I say.

Tyler doesn’t reply so I knock again.

 _‘Tyler, please…we need to talk…please!’_ I plead in his head.

**No.**

_‘Just for five minutes? Please Tyler, im lost without you…’_ I say in desperation.

**Agh. Fine, five minutes.**

The door flies open and an angry looking Tyler sits cross-legged on his bed. I walk in and the door slams shut, scaring the shit out of me. I nervously walk over to his bed and sit down. Tyler looks slightly panicked when I move closer to him.

“Um…” I start.

“I make you nervous, don’t I?” Tyler says.

“N-no…” I lie.

He cocks an eyebrow.

“What do you want Josh?” he says.

“I want to know…why d-did you fuck Jason…?” I say as I feel anger start to form deep within me.

“Why did I WHAT?” He says shocked.

“Tyler don’t act dumb, I fucking walked in on you having sex with Jason! You were meant to be mine!” I spit.

“I didn’t fuck him you dumbass!” Tyler says in rage.

“IT SURE LOOKED LIKE IT WHEN HE HAD HIS DICK IN YOUR ASS!” I yell.

“I DIDN’T FUCK HIM JOSH!” Tyler screams back.

“THEN WHAT WAS HE DOING WITH HIS DICK INSIDE YOU?” I scream back.

“Josh…get out.” Tyler says quietly while looking down.

“No. Not until you tell me what was going on!” I reply.

“JOSH JUST GET THE FUCK OUT!” Tyler yells as tears flow down his cheeks.

“NO! TELL ME WHAT HE WAS DOING WITH YOU!” I yell back.

“FINE! YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH JOSH?! HE WAS FUCKING ME LONG AND HARD! AND ONCE YOU LEFT THE ROOM, HE MADE ME COME SO FUCKING HARD I NEARLY BLACKED OUT, BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! ONCE I CAME I SUCKED HIM OFF AND HE CAME INTO MY MOUTH! WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT JOSH?! I SWOLLOWED IT ALL AND THEN LEFT! I FUCKING LEFT! BEFORE I LEFT HE SAID HE WAS GONNA DO IT AGAIN WITH ME! AGAIN JOSH! OVER AND OVE-“ I cut Tyler off by launching at him and holding him down on the bed.

“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP TYLER!” I scream.

Tyler begins to hysterically laugh. What the hell is he laughing at? He legit just described to me what happened when he cheated on me…fuck him!

“Why are you laughing?! I hate you!” I say as I keep him pinned on the bed.

His laugh turns into crying then to sobbing…what is going on? Tyler keeps sobbing under me as he replies.

“I lied…” he sobbed.

“You what? Tyler what is going on?” I say concerned.

“Get off…Josh GET OFF!” Tyler yells as I get pushed backwards off the bed.

I lay on the floor as I hear Tyler laughing again. It’s not a happy laugh; it’s the laugh of a psycho…

Tyler uses his power to lift me up in the air as I yell for him to put me down.

“NO! JOSH HE HURT ME! IM TELLING THE TRUTH! HELP ME PLEASE JOSH!” Tyler pleads.

I fall down on the bed as Tyler curls up into a protective ball and sobs; shaking violently.

“Tyler, what happened to you? You’re going crazy, laughing like a weirdo, going from sobbing to laughing to angry! I don’t understand what the fuck is going on! Just tell me what happened to you!” I say as I watch the sobbing boy begin to shake more violently, if that’s possible.

“I-I can’t t-tell you…” He whispers.

“Fuck Tyler, yes you can! Stop avoiding the truth! What is it, guilt? Shame? What changed you?!” I say frustrated.

“R-Rape…” Tyler whispers.

All my thoughts leave my head. I all the sudden feel like im drowning…the boy I love to death; the same very boy I’ve screamed at, was raped and I was acting like an asshole instead of helping him…god Josh you’re an idiot!

Tyler start’s sobbing as I crawl over to him. He flinches as I get closer.

“Ty, im not gonna hurt you.” I say as I slowly move closer.

“Can I hug you?” I ask carefully.

Tyler shakes his head. He sobs as I feel tears prickle my eyes. It’s my fault…if I didn’t lose him at the party, and leave him to walk home alone…he wouldn’t have been hurt! I begin to cry as Tyler keeps sobbing hard. We stay crying on his bed for what feels like an eternity but really was about 20 minutes. Eventually Tyler stops and wipes his eyes.

“Josh…let me explain…” Tyler says.

“No, Ty it’s okay. Im sorry I was angry…you don’t have to explain anything.” I say as he shakes his head.

“I have to…” Tyler says taking a deep breath.

“I couldn’t find you at the party so I went into the kitchen to get a drink and a dude; Jason, came up to me and whispered into my ear how he needs help and I said what with…he didn’t reply, he just hurried me into the bedroom…he then started locking the door and that’s when I knew something wasn’t right so I asked to leave but he slapped me and said if I spoke he would k-kill me…he began taking mine and his clothes off and without warning or anything slammed into me…what I said before, about what we did…it was true…but it hurt so much Josh! I was helpless and I let him do whatever to me. Im so sorry Josh! I was really wanting to wait to do it with you and it all happened so fast and then you came in and left me to walk home and after I got out of the house I was in so much pain I fell and nearly passed out but Ryan I think, he drove me to your house and then I heard what you said and I knew you hated me and I can’t live without you Josh…I can’t do it! I thought it would get better but it got so much worse! Josh I feel dirty and disgusting all the time! I don’t wanna do this anymore, I don’t wanna live! God I hate myself so much…” Tyler sobs out fast.

I sit in silence. What do I reply with? What do I do? Tyler is obviously still not mentally okay and he doesn’t let anyone near him…

“Does your parents know?” I ask.

He shakes his head in shame.

“I think we should tell your mom at least…” I say.

“I-I will…eventually…when I think it’s time to…” He whispers.

It physically pains me to see my Babyboy hurting!

“Im gonna kill that motherfucker!” I say with venom.

“T-Too late…” Tyler whispers.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“After…after he said he’d do it again…I-I…k-killed him…” Tyler says starting to sob again.

“Oh god…” I say.

The rest of the week I have been staying at his house. He won’t let me touch him and he is different…he doesn’t talk much and flinches at loud noises. He isn’t the same Tyler I fell in love with…he has changed. We have spent the week watching movies and playing video games. I told mom what happened to him and she told me to stay with him. It’s been a sleepless week for both of us. Tyler has had panic attack after panic attack. His parents are still in Italy working so we are home alone all the time. Tyler is getting better but still needs time to heal.


	19. Josh's POV

It’s now been about a month since he got raped…we both haven’t been to school at all. Tyler is’nt much better though. He still doesn’t let anyone touch him but he is trying to allow me to at least kiss him…He also talks and actually act’s happy instead of scared but I know he is faking it. I think the old Tyler is’nt coming back anytime soon, and im so sad about that!

**Tyler’s POV**

“Tyler, im just gonna help mom take her bags into her car, stay here.” Josh says, leaving me in his room.

It’s been about a month since I got raped and im doing a lot better on the outside. Inside im a mess…I still struggle to eat and the guilt is tearing me up. I put on a fake smile and pretend like im over the rape for Josh…Josh is my best friend; my boyfriend…I hate him seeing me weak…Josh and my relationship is going okay; we haven’t been kissing a lot because I flinch every time he touches me. We still haven’t done the dirty. I think it’s a shame that I won’t be losing my virginity with the guy I love but I guess I can’t ever change that. My therapist knows about what happened to me; I started going to her regularly after Josh found out. She has also helped me.

**_ FLASHBACK _ **

_“So Tyler, how are you?” Helen asks._

_I sit looking out the window. Gloomy skies drown the sun with pity. I hate myself…I deserved for Jason to hurt me…im a murderer…_

_“Tyler?” Helen says grabbing my attention._

_I look at her with my sad eyes of guilt. She softly smiles at me._

_“How are you?” She asked again._

_I heard her the first time; I just don’t want to talk…_

_I shrug as she frowns._

_“What’s going on Tyler? You seem different…” She states._

_I shrug. I am different. Being raped has changed me. I don’t talk, don’t leave my room unless it’s for therapy (I have an en suite) and I don’t eat much. I haven’t eaten in a few days now. I don’t deserve food; it’s my fault. I don’t even talk to Josh. I have lost interest in everything dear to me; my piano, singing, Josh…_

_“Tyler, you can tell me.” She says with concern._

_I look at her with tear-filled eyes. She will be the only one who knows other than Josh…do I trust her?_

_I shake my head as tears flow._

_You’re such a baby! It’s your fault three people are dead, it’s your fault Josh isn’t here and it’s your fault you got raped!” Blurry says in my head._

_“I-I know…” I whisper to Blurryface._

_“Tyler, who are you talking to?” Helen says._

_“Blurry.” I say while looking out the window._

_It’s now raining; droplets of clear water cover the window._

_“Waterrr…” I whisper sing._

_“Hmm?” Helen says, hearing my singing._

_“Water.” I say coldly._

_“What about the water?” She asks._

_“I find it fascinating that water; such a simple, harmless looking thing can do so much damage…” I trail off watching the water hit the window._

_I sit up and look into Helens eyes._

_“It’s like…water can be two things; a good thing or…a bad thing…” I say._

_“How so?”_

_“Well water can be good if you want to water the garden or something like that but it also can be bad…if you want to be clean; water doesn’t help. Soap doesn’t either. You see; water can only wash away the dirt on the surface of your skin…but what about the dirt underneath your skin?” I say as I look at Helens interested expression._

_“There is only one way to get rid of the filth hidden behind your skin…” I continue._

_“And that is?”_

_“Death.” I say as I look out the window again._

_“Death?” Helen says as if there is supposed to be more to the answer than simply death._

_“Yes. Death Helen. You can take the pills or slit your wrist and all your worries will go away…you can have a shower and scrub your body until it’s all red raw but your still gonna be the fucked up person someone used…” I say as a tear falls down me hot cheek._

_I’ve turned towards the window so Helen doesn’t see the tear._

_“Tyler, am I missing something?” Helen asks confused._

_I nod._

_“What am I missing?”_

_“Everything…” I whisper._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Think about what I said…let it soak in…” I say quietly as I stare at the rain._

_Helen is silent for a few minutes, trying to figure out what I meant when I was talking about the rain. All of the sudden I hear Helen gasp; I flinch at the sound. Im always fucking jumpy when I hear loud or unexpected noises…_

_“Tyler…the part where you said about the person still being used…Tyler…Tyler, were you used?” She says as I don’t answer._

_“Tyler, please answer me…” She says._

_I turn to face her slowly. Tears streaming down my face. I have no energy to wipe them away..._

_“Y-Yes…” I whisper._

_Helen’s face goes form worried to sympathetic in a split second._

_“Tyler, im sorry you had to go through that!” Helen says as I turn back to the window._

_It’s silent for a few more minutes until I decide to break the thick silence._

_“Water can also be a blessing in disguise…” I say suddenly._

_“How?” Helen’s soft voice speaks._

_“Well kids like me think of stuff differently…just think about what kids are doing!” I say with sadly._

_“Tyler, what are you trying to say? What are kids like you doing?”_

_“"What kids are doing are killing themselves, they feel they have no control of their prisoner's cell and if you're one of them, then you're one of me and you would do anything just to feel free..." I say as another tear falls._

_“Oh…” Helen starts as I cut her off._

_“But I’ve figured out what they need to do…” I say._

_“What?”_

_“Sometimes to stay alive, you gotta kill your mind…” I whisper._

_“But it’s too late for me…” I say as tears flow._

_“You just got to keep the faith Tyler.” Helen says with a soft smile._

_"Faith is to be awake and to be awake is for us to think is to be alive…and im not alive…" I say shaking my head._

_“Wait…im confused now…” She says as I look at her._

_“I was raped but I deserved it, end of story.” I say as I leave her office and walk into the rain._

_“Can you wash me? Can you drown me?” I sing as I look up to the sky._

**_ END OF FLASHBACK _ **

“Im back.” Josh states as I flinch at the sound of his voice.

“Sorry, did I scare you?” He says softly.

I shake my head.

“You okay Ty?” He asks.

I nod. It seems that all anyone says to me now is ‘are you okay?’…I hate when people ask because I can never tell them the truth; im dying on the inside…

“Let’s lay down, come on.” Josh smiles.

I nod and sit next to him on his bed.

“Cuddle?” He asks.

That’s another thing I’ve noticed, no one touches me or goes near me until they ask…

“Y-Yeah…” I mumble as he lays me down and pulls me close.

“I love you.” He says softly as he kisses me.

I flinch slightly but he didn’t notice thank god.

“I l-love you t-too…” I whisper.

Our lips connect and move together perfectly. He tastes so good. We continue to make out until his phone rings; making me jump.

“Hey, it’s okay Ty, it’s just my phone.” He says as we sit up.

I nod. I look at his phone; making it go to Josh.

“Thanks Ty.” He says as he answers.

_“Hello?”_

_“Hey Joshie!”_ Brendon says loudly into the phone.

Josh put the phone on speaker so I can talk and listen too _._

 _“What are you up to Dun?”_ Bren says.

_“Just um…lying in bed…”_

_“Cool. Where have you and Tyler been?”_

_“Um…s-something happened…and we couldn’t go to school…”_ Josh says looking at me with worry.

 _“What happened? Tyler’s pregnant?”_ Brendon jokes.

I let out a small laugh.

 _“Wait…is Tyler with you?”_ Brendon says.

 _“Um…yeah…”_ Josh says.

 _“You sneaky devils! You both weren’t just ‘cuddling’ weren’t you?”_ Brendon says, obviously meaning sex.

 _“No!”_ I says.

 _“Hey Ty!”_ Bren says.

 _“Hey.”_ I mumble.

 _“Josh won’t tell me what happened to you both, so tell me!”_ Bren says.

I look at Josh and he shrugs. Do I tell him? It’s kind of personal…but if Josh can trust him; so can I…right?

 _“Um…something happened to me at your party…”_ I mumble.

How do I put what happened into a proper sentence? It sound worse when I say it out loud…

 _“What happened?”_ Bren pushes.

 _“Brendon, don’t push Tyler into saying it!”_ Josh says defensively.

 _“It’s not that hard to say what happened. What, did you and Josh fuck?”_ Bren says.

 _“Um…I-I got…um…r-raped…”_ I say as a tear falls down my face causing Josh to pull me close.

 _“YOU WHAT?!”_ Brendon yelled in shock.

 _“Tyler are you okay?!”_ he says.

_“I-I guess…”_

_“Who did that to you?”_

_“Jason…”_ Josh says in anger.

 _“FUCK THAT STUPID MOTHERFUCKER! JOSH IM PICKING YOU UP, WE’RE GONNA BEAT THAT FUCKER TO NOTHING!”_ Brendon screams in anger.

Im super surprised Brendon is defending me…

 _“Im gonna call the gang, get ready Josh, Tyler…sleep or some shit!”_ Brendon hangs up before we get a chance to say it’s too late.

Twenty minutes passed and Josh and I are dressed and watching a movie when the front door violently bangs open.

“RIGHT FUCKERS, LET’S KILLS THIS DICKHEAD!” Brendon yells as all of Josh’s friends and him walk into the lounge room.

“Dude, calm down!” I sigh.

“Wait…who are we killing and why?” Pete asks with a confused expression that all the others are wearing too.

“Jason!” Brendon says.

“Why?” Pete asks.

“Ask Tyler…” Bren says looking at me.

Everyone turns and looks at me as I turn to Josh. He shrugs.

“Um…h-he…um…” I stutter.

**Josh can you say it?**

_‘Sure thing sugar’_ Josh replies in my head.

“He fucked Tyler!” Josh says, clearly still pissed off about it.

“So…you’re saying Tyler cheated on you and so we all are gonna kill Jason…?” Gerard says.

“No he raped Tyler, at Bren’s party!” Josh corrects him.

“Oh god, Ty are you okay?!” Mikey asks.

“Um yeah…that’s why I haven’t been at school and Josh has stayed with me…” I say.

Everyone gives me sympathetic looks.

“SO THAT’S WHY WE WILL GO AND KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER! GET YOUR TITS IN THE CAR, HURRY UP!” Brendon yells again.

**Fuck he is so protective over friends…**

_‘It’s weird…he normally isn’t…I think it’s because he thinks of you as the baby of the group, the little brother kind of.’_ Josh says in my head.

**Baby?! Excuse me, im not a baby!**

_‘Wasn’t me that thought of you like that, it was Brendon!’_

I smile at Josh as everyone looks at Brendon with a what-the-fuck-your-aren’t-Tyler’s-mom look.

“Um…Jason is already dead…” Ryan says.

“Is he?” Brendon says in a disappointed yet happy tone.

“Yeah he died the night of your party…snapped neck or something.” Ryan says as they all turn to me with eyebrows up.

“Tyler isn’t a fucking murderer! Don’t look at him like that!” Josh lies with anger.

But oh he is so wrong…so very wrong! He knows I killed two people already…he doesn’t know about Johnny…

“Well fuck. I was excited to fuck his face up!” Brendon pouts.

“Me too!” Patrick says.

“Well since we’re here…wanna go out somewhere?” Bren says.

“Yeah where?” Frank asks.

“Um…” Brendon thinks.

“What about Taco Bell?” Josh says.

“Yeah!” many voices say at once.

Great…they will try and make me eat…


	20. Josh's POV

We get to Taco Bell, I drove Patrick, Ray, Dallon and Tyler while Brendon drive Ryan, Gerard, Mikey, Pete and Frank; the lucky fucker has a big-ass car his mom bought him! On the way Dallon, Patty, Ray and I were talking about music but Tyler seemed nervous…he was silent. He never talks anymore…he’s changed heaps.

“Let’s sit over there.” Gerard points at a booth.

“We won’t all fit in there!” Frank says.

“We will make us fit.” Gerard replies as we all squish into a booth.

We all talk while waiting for the waitress to come over as I notice Tyler biting his lip; he’s nervous about something…what is he nervous about?

“Hello boys, may I take your orders?” The waitress says as she takes out a pen and paper from her apron.

We all order apart from Tyler.

“Ty, you gonna eat?” I ask.

“U-Um…n-no…” He mumbles.

“Why?” Ryan asks.

Tyler’s head falls as he bites his lip again.

“N-Not hungry…” He whispers.

It is obvious he is hiding something…what though?

 **Fuck im starving…** I read Tyler’s mind.

“Ty, can I talk to you for a sec?” I say as he looks at me with worry.

**Did he just read my-no he wouldn’t of…right?**

He nods and we go into the bathroom. I turn to see Tyler biting his lip and looking down.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“N-Nothing…” He says.

“Tyler, what is it? You’re not eating! Taco Bell is your favorite…” I say with concern.

“Nothing Josh, just leave it!” Tyler says, clearly pissed off by me asking.

“No. Tyler, I need to know so I can help you.” I say, waving my arms around.

“JOSH! JUST FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!” Tyler screams as tears fall.

“Ty-“ I try to say but Tyler run’s out of the bathroom fast.

I sigh. He’s probably convincing the gang that he is okay right now…I head out of the bathroom and go sit down noticing Tyler must've gone.

“Dude, what happened?! One minute we are talking, next minute we hear Tyler yell and run out of here…” Brendon says.

I shrug. Suddenly my appetite is gone.

“Eat.” Patrick says.

“Im not hungry anymore…” I say.

Im not lying; im worried sick about Tyler! He isn’t eating, I noticed a few days ago but hoped he would decide to eat soon…he also hasn’t had good thoughts; I’ve read some pretty sad thoughts of his…I just want the old Tyler back…the one I fell in love with…fuck you Jason for taking Tyler away from me!


	21. Tyler's POV

“What’s wrong Tyler?” Helen says as I sit down.

“I screamed at Josh to leave me alone…” I say with a sad undertone.

“Why?” She asks.

“Because he was asking if im okay…”

“Why would you scream at him for asking that?” She asks.

“Because im sick of everyone fucking asking me if im okay! Helen, im not okay; im far from it actually…” I say.

“How?” She asks.

“Because on the outside I look fine…but really im struggling to survive…I don’t eat much anymore, and when I do try and eat me automatically vomit it up, I can’t hear noises without flinching, Josh can’t touch me without me internally freaking out and god Helen I just want to die!” I exhale.

“Mmmm.” She says writing stuff down on her notepad.

“So Tyler, you said you weren’t eating; what have you eaten this week?” She asks me.

I think of what I’ve eaten this week.

“A-An apple…s-some biscuits…that’s all…” I stutter.

“I see…” She says writing more crap down.

“And what happens when you eat?”

“I-I vomit or feel really sick.”

“And when you don’t eat?”

“Im always tired; I never have energy anymore…I also feel lightheaded most of the time. I also have p-passed out a few t-times…” I whisper the last part.

“Passed out? Who was with you when that happened?”

“N-No one…mom and dad were away on a business trip.” I say.

“Right. So Tyler, I am gonna prescribe to you some pills that will stop the passing out and lightheadedness; for your eating, you need to try and hold down as much food as you can. I’ve noticed you’re getting really thin.” She says with a soft smile.

I nod.

“Why don’t you eat?” She asks.

“Because…I don’t deserve to…” I say.

“Why?”

“B-Because I-It’s my f-fault…” I burst into tears.

“Oh Tyler. Nothing is your fault.” She says.

I continue to cry.


	22. Josh's POV

“See ya Dun.” My friends all say as I go to unlock the door.

Tyler isn’t back yet…I hope he’s okay…

I walk into the kitchen to see mom washing dishes.

“Hey baby, how are you?” She asks.

“Fine.” I say.

“It’s obvious you’re not fine; what’s wrong?” She says furrowing her eyebrows.

I breathe out heavily.

“We all went to Taco Bell and I noticed Tyler wasn’t eating so I took him into the bathroom and asked what’s wrong and he screamed at me to leave him alone before running out and now I don’t know where he is!” I say.

“Oh dear…honey, Tyler has been through a lot lately and he might seem fine to you but he might actually be hiding his feelings. You need to help him; show him that he is loved and not in danger. Make sure he eats.”

“How can I help him when all he wants is to fucking die?!” I cry.

“Does he still want to?…” Mom says in shock.

“I-I read his mind…he w-want’s t-to die…mom he want’s do die! I need to help him before he dies!” I sob as mom cuddles me.

“Shhh, Josh everything is gonna be okay.” She whispers into my ear.

I go upstairs and go to bed; crying always makes me tired…


	23. Josh's POV

I wake up to a vomiting sound coming from the bathroom. I get up and open the door quietly to see Tyler hunched over the toilet vomiting. He must have come to my house during the night…

“Tyler?” I say softly.

Tyler flinches and wipes his mouth. He turns around and I see his tearstained face.

“J-Josh, please don’t look; I d-don’t want y-you to see m-me like this…” He whispers.

“Tyler, are you okay?” I ask.

Tyler opens his mouth to reply but is cut off by himself gagging. He turns to the toilet and throws up again.

“Fuck…” Tyler mumbles.

“Tyler, when was the last time you ate?” I ask carefully.

“I-I don’t know…” He whispers.

“Tyler, you need to eat.” I say.

“I-I tried…I c-can’t keep anything d-down…” He says.

“Im taking you to the hospital.” I say.

“N-No, Josh i-im f-fine…” He tries to say strongly.

“Im going to get a bucket in case you throw up on the way.” I say leaving the bathroom and going to wake up mom.

“What is it Josh?” Mom whispers as I shake her awake.

“Tyler’s vomiting; he can’t hold anything down so im gonna take him to the hospital. Is there a bucket or something he can have in case he vomits on the way?” I ask.

Mom sit’s up fast and nods. I follow mom as she gets a bucket from the laundry.

“Okay, thanks. Bye momma.” I say as I go back to Tyler.

Tyler is now laying on the floor unconscious.

“TYLER?!” I yell.

Mom runs in as I kneel down next to him. I hold him as mom gasps.

“Get him and you in my car; im gonna drive.” She says in a hurry.

I pick Tyler up bridal style and take him out to the car. I sit him down so he is laying on me; head in my lap. The bucket is on the ground. Mom jumps in the car and speeds off. About ten minutes later Tyler lift’s his head up.

“J-Josh?” he mumbles as he sit’s up shaking.

“Feeling okay?” I ask.

“Ye-Oh god, bucket!” He says as I give him the bucket fast.

Tyler throws up as I rub his back.

“You passed out so we rushed you in the car; we are on our way to hospital.” I say with worry.

“I-Im s-s-sorry…” He says as he lays back down on me.

“Don’t be Ty.” I say playing with his hair.

We arrive at the hospital after about five more minutes of Tyler constantly vomiting. He is violently shaking and it scares me to see the boy I love, so sick. We get the doctor to take him as mom and I get told to wait in the waiting room.

“Thanks…” I whisper to mom.

“No worries.” She replies as she leans and gets a magazine.

There isn’t many people in the waiting room; only a mother and a kid about ten years old.

The kid is crying and the mother looks tired. I wonder what happened…

About two or three hours pass; I’ve given up checking the time. It’s now light outside. We got here at 4am. Mom is sleeping with her head resting on my shoulder while I reminisce on memories with Tyler.

**_ FLASHBACK _ **

_“Tyler, what happened to you? You’re going crazy, laughing like a weirdo, going from sobbing to laughing to angry! I don’t understand what the fuck is going on! Just tell me what happened to you!” I say as I watch the sobbing boy begin to shake more violently, if that’s possible._

_“I-I can’t t-tell you…” He whispers._

_“Fuck Tyler, yes you can! Stop avoiding the truth! What is it, guilt? Shame? What changed you?!” I say frustrated._

_“R-Rape…” Tyler whispers._

**_ END OF FLASHBACK _ **

I let a tear fall as I get a tap on my shoulder.

“Are you here to see Tyler Joseph sir?” A doctor asks.

“Y-Yes…” I say as I look at my mom.

She is waking up.

“We can see Tyler.” I say.

“You go first, I’ll give you both time.” She says with a smile.

I nod and follow the doctor.

“So before you go in I will let you know what happened and I need to ask some questions.” He says.

I nod.

“So it seems that Tyler hasn’t eaten in quite some time and that’s why he has passed out. The vomiting is from him trying to hold down food or liquid, in his case he couldn’t hold down water. Due to no food in his system we have him on a drip to get him hydrated, as well as a tube to feed him. He is awake. His parents or guardian needs to keep him eating and drinking. Now sir, do you know if Tyler has had any traumatic experiences to cause this?” The doctor says.

I process everything and nod.

“He um…got raped not that long ago.” I say.

The doctor nods and writes stuff down.

“And has he been going to therapy or anything due to this?”

“Well he already was going to therapy but he has been going more often since then.” I say.

“And after being raped, how was he acting?”

I sigh.

“Very angry at the start but eventually that died down, now he is really quiet. He used to be so smiley around me; now he cries a lot and sometimes doesn’t leave his room. It’s really hard to get him out of the house. At the start he wouldn’t let anyone touch him but now he lets only me touch him; even then he still flinches and is super scared of everything. Like you said, he doesn’t eat much anymore…I think he blames himself for it…” I finish, wiping my tears away.

“Well sir, im sorry to hear. Hopefully his pills and therapy start to help. You can see him now.” The doctor smiles and leaves me to go in.

I take a deep breath and walk in to see Tyler sitting in the big hospital bed. He looks so cute; a tiny boy in a huge bed. He looks sick; dark eye bags, pale face and tired eyes where light once was. I walk in more and Tyler looks at me. I smile softly and walk over to him.

“Hey Ty.” I smile.

“H-Hey…” He mumbles.

“How you holding up?” I ask.

Tyler shrugs.

“S-Sorry…” Tyler whispers with tears filling his eyes.

“For what?” I say as I sit down in a chair next to the bed.

“F-For being such a-a fuckup…” Tyler says as he wipes his tears harshly.

“Ty, none of this is your fault! You did ask for this power or to be raped by Jason!” I say.

Tyler begins to cry.

“I-I deserve it…” Tyler sobs.

“Why do you keep saying that?!” I ask.

“BECAUSE I KILLED JOHNNY!” Tyler yells in frustration.

I look at Tyler as he keeps sobbing.

“W-Who is J-Johnny…?” I ask.

Suddenly I remember the dream Tyler had; he kept saying he was gonna kill me like he killed Johnny…

“H-He is m-my ex…” Tyler says quietly.

Ex???

“W-We went into the-the forest f-for a date…” Tyler starts.

I listen closely.

“He w-wanted t-to do it…h-have s-sex but I was t-too scared to have i-it s-so I said no…h-he s-started holding m-me down and I-I tried pushing him off without u-using my p-power…but he w-was strong…” Tyler gets cut off by a sob.

“H-He r-raped me…” Tyler cries.

WHAT?! So this is the second time Tyler’s been raped?!

“No Tyler…” I say in shock.

“I-It was so painful! I-I let him d-do it…then a-after it I-I…killed h-him…” Tyler sobs out.

This is a lot to take in…my boyfriend wasn’t even a virgin all along…and this isn’t the first time he got raped…makes sense as to him already having a therapist before Jason hurt him…

“Tyler…im sorry this happened to you…again…” I say as he wipes his face.

“N-Now you see that it w-was my f-fault…” He says.

“No Tyler, it wasn’t and isn’t and never will be! You didn’t kill Johnny or any of the others for no reason! Yes you fucking murdered people but not out of choice, it was out of fear. There is a fucking difference.” I say firmly.

Tyler nods.

**I wish Josh could understand…nobody does…**

_‘And nobody should. You’re perfect the way you are Tyler. I wish you could see what I see in you.’_ I say in Tyler’s head.

Tyler looks at me in shock.

“Josh, I fucking love you…” He says as a tear falls.

“And I fucking love you too.” I say as I lean in for a kiss.

Tyler flinches and I move away. He is so scared still…

“S-Sorry…” Tyler says looking down.

“No its okay, I understand.” I say with a fake smile; yes I understand but it doesn’t mean I don’t feel human feelings.

“J-Josh…k-kiss me.” Tyler says.

I nod and lean in. Tyler grabs my face and smashes our lips together. We kiss for a while.

“Knock, knock.” My mom says as we break the kiss.

“Sorry for intruding in on your little make out sesh” Mom says with a smile.

“Mom what the hell?” I say as I see Tyler smile.

“Is my boy a good kisser Tyler?” Mom continues.

“Great kisser Mrs. Dun.” Tyler laughs.

“Good.” She smiles.

“How are you feeling?” Mom says.

“Like im gonna vomit.” I smirk.

“I was asking Tyler not you!” Mom says.

“Good thanks.” Tyler says.

“That’s great honey. The doctor said you will be in here for tonight but can hopefully go home tomorrow if your hydrated and got enough food.” Mom says.

Tyler nods.

“Josh we should let Tyler sleep. He is probably really tired. We can come back after we all sleep a little.” Mom says.

I look over to see Tyler with a panicked expression.

**JOSH DON’T LEAVE ME!**

_‘Hey baby, it’s gonna be okay. Im still here.’_ I telepathically say to Tyler.

“Can I stay here with Tyler?” I ask mom.

“I’ve already asked; they said no because they are gonna do test’s and stuff on Tyler.” Mom says sadly.

I nod.

**JOSH!**

_‘Babyboy, listen to me; we can message and call. I will come back as soon as I wake up. I promise.’_

**O-Okay…**

“Bye Babyboy.” I say as Tyler hugs me tightly.

“B-Bye…” Tyler says as we break the hug.

I give Tyler a kiss and leave with mom. My baby is so scared…and I can’t help him…


	24. Josh's POV

I get home and lay in bed. I am so tired! Sleep is about to take over when my phone dings from across the room. Where is Tyler and his telekinesis when I need it? I get up and get my phone before laying back on my bed.

_Tyler: Josh they gave me pills and they tasted so yuck!_

I smile at the message I received from Tyler.

_Josh: Aww my baby doesn’t like to take his pills…haha_

_Tyler: Fuck off._

_Josh: Love you._

_Tyler: Love you too xo_

_Josh: Should we go on the group chat?_

_Tyler: Yeah._

*GROUPCHAT*

_Josh is DUN with you: Hey gays._

_Fuck Buddy Tyler: Gays???_

_Josh is DUN with you: GUYS! I MEANT GUYS! SORRYYYY_

_Bren: Dude what the fuck? First you make me excited to kill someone and now you’re assuming my sexuality?! Not cool Josh…_

_Josh is DUN with you: Sorry…_

_Bren: Im joking…_

_Josh is DUN with you: Ohhh_

_Fuck Buddy Tyler: SOMEONE CHANGE MY FUCKING NAME!_

_*Bren changed Fuck Buddy Tyler’s name to Tyjo*_

_Tyjo: Tyjo???_

_Bren: You know, like Ty from Tyler and Jo from Joseph…?_

_Tyjo: Okay…_

_Bren: Do you want me to change it back to Fuck Buddy Tyler?_

_Tyjo: NOOOOOO!_

_Josh is DUN with you: LOL_

_Gee: When are you and Tyler coming to school Josh?_

_Bren: HI GERARD!_

_Gee: Shut the fuck up Brendon!_

_Bren: What’s up your ass?!_

_Frankie: Don’t worry about him; he hasn’t had any coffee today because we’re out._

_Josh is DUN with you: I guess we will come back soon Gee…idk._

_Bren: HI FRANKIE!_

_Frankie: HEY BREN!_

_Mikeywave: Hey guys._

_Bren: MIKEY! HEY!_

_Bren: Im gonna spam Ryan with pictures of milk until he answers his phone, brb._

_Dicksucker Dallon: Milk…?_

_Patty: Hi people._

_Ray of sunshine: Hai!_

_Josh is DUN with you: Guys it’s already nearly lunchtime…where has today gone?_

_Frankie: Idk man, Gerard and I have been watching movies all morning._

_Gee: Yee._

_Mikeywave: Yee? Wtf Gerard…?_

_Gee: Fuck off Mikey!_

_Mikeywave: Now that’s a mean way of speaking to your younger brother!_

_Gee: Suck a dick fucker!_

_Mikeywave: I get more dick than you at least._

_Gee: WHAT?!_

_Mikeywave: You get Franks dick so you can feel good about yourself Gerard._

_Frankie: Whaaaatttttt???_

_Mikeywave: Gerard wants your dick in him Frank._

_Ray of sunshine: Nah Gerard tops._

_Dicksucker Dallon: NO WAY GERARD IS SUCH A BOTTOM!_

_Josh is DUN with you: #FrankTops_

_Ray of sunshine: #GeeTops_

_Pete the pirate: #FrankTops Sorry Ray…_

_Mikeywave: #FrankTops_

_Patty: #FrankTops_

_Dicksucker Dallon: #FrankTops_

_Bren: BACK FUCKERS! Also #FrankTops_

_Ryan the cheez whiz man: Hey and #FrankTops_

_Ray of sunshine: Fine #FrankTops_

_Frankie: Ummmm…_

_Gee: Guys wtf???_

_Mikeywave: Face it, you both are a couple. What should your ship name be???_

_Patty: Gerank?_

_Bren: Nah sounds weird._

_Josh is DUN with you: Frankared?_

_Mikeywave: Nah too long._

_Ray of sunshine: Frerard???_

_Mikeywave: YES THANK YOU RAY!_

_Bren: Omg Frerard is perfect!_

_Bren: I ship Frerard._

_Ryan the cheez whiz man: I ship Frerard._

_Dicksucker Dallon: I ship Frerard._

_Ray of sunshine: I ship Frerard._

_Mikeywave: I ship Frerard._

_Pete the pirate: I ship Frerard._

_Josh is DUN with you: I ship Frerard._

_Patty: I ship Ferard._

_Bren: IT’S FRERARD NOT FERARD!_

_Patty: Sorry…I ship FRERARD._

_Bren: Hey Josh where is Tyler gone?_

_Josh is DUN with you: Im not sure, brb._

I switch messages to only Tyler and ask what he’s doing. I decide im gonna get some sleep until Tyler messages.

*GROUPCHAT*

_Josh is DUN with you: Tyler isn’t replying rn. Im going to sleep. Bye._

_Bren: Had a big night?_

_Josh is DUN with you: Yeah sort of…bye._

_Bren: Bye Josh._

_Ryan the cheez whiz man: Byee_

_Dicksucker Dallon: Bye_

_Patty: Byeee_

_Frankie: Cya Josh_

_Gee: Goodbye_

_Mikeywave: Bye_

_Pete the pirate: Bye Joshie_

_Ray of sunshine: Cya._

I turn my phone off and turn over, allowing sleep to take me blissfully.


	25. Tyler's POV

“Helen?!” I say in shock as Helen stands beside my hospital bed.

“Hey Tyler…how you feeling?” She asks.

“Fine…why are you here?” I ask.

“Your parent’s are stuck in Italy due to weather so I came to see how you’re going for them.” She says.

I nod.                                          

“So-“ She starts before being cut off by her phone ringing.

“Sorry.” She says as she answers the phone.

“Hello? Yes. Yeah he was. No it’s all on my desk. Yep. Okay bye.” She says as she hangs up.

I cock an eyebrow.

“One of my co-workers wanted a clipboard.” She smiles.

I nod.

“Tyler?” The doctor interrupts.

I look at him. He is chubby and bald.

“Im Dr. James. I need to ask some questions.” He says with a smile.

I nod and say goodbye as Helen leaves the room. Well that got rid of her…

“So Tyler, how are you feeling?” The doctor asks as he shuts the door and sits in the plastic grey chair next to my bed.

“Okay.” I say.

“Good. Any pain?” He asks.

“No.” I shake my head.

“Good. Now, where are your parents?” He says.

“Spain. Business trip.” I say coldly.

“Oh…okay.” He says writing my answers down on a piece of white paper.

“So Tyler, we were informed that you were assaulted not that long ago, am I right?” He says.

I look at him with wide eyes.

“Assaulted?” I say confused.

“Raped.” He corrects himself.

I nod.

“Was it once? I know it’s hard to answer these personal questions but we need this information.” He states.

“Twice.” I say.

“By the same person?”

“No.” I say looking down.

“And did you get checked by the hospital for any STI’s or anything?”

“I did when it happened the first time but not the second time.” I say.

“Right. Well we will run some test’s to see if you have anything. After it happened the second time, what did you feel physically?” He asks.

My breath hitches. Flashbacks blind my vision.

**_ FLASHBACK _ **

_I killed him…I had to…he said he was gonna do it again!_

_I stumble towards my clothes that are laying messily on the floor. I let him do it…it happened again…why?! I feel sharp pains in my lower stomach and intense burning in my ass. Flashbacks to when Johnny did the same thing to me occurred while Jason pounded into me with no mercy, no heart. I lean down and hiss as pain shoots through me. I put my boxers and pants back on and notice my top is on the bed. As I walk over to the bed I notice blood. The once white sheets now have red patches…oh no…I pull my pants and boxers off fast and look to see im bleeding…another thing to add to the ‘Great night I had’ list. I pull them back up and put my shirt on. As I open the door I see Ryan looking at me with concern and anger mixed._

_“Tyler, what the fuck were you doing in there?” He says._

_I look at him with embarrassment._

_“You and Jason fucked…what about Josh?! He is so upset now…”_

_I wipe my tears and walk out of the house limping. God it hurts!_

**_Ryan’s POV_ **

_I walk into the bedroom Tyler just limped out of to see Jason on the floor. He’s dead…_

_“Call 911!” I yell, stepping out of the room._

_Someone notices and gets their phone._

_I walk back into the bedroom. Did Tyler kill him?! I look over to see the bed messed up and bloodstains covering the sheets. What happened? I see Jason not bleeding…what’s the blood from?...no…surely not…but it explains Tyler limping, crying and getting fucked by Jason…please god tell me Tyler wasn’t raped! I rush out of the bedroom and across the house towards the front door when Brendon stops me._

_“R-Ryan…you sexy mother-motherfucker…” Brendon says._

_“Bren, your drunk. Go drink water, im busy.” I say in a hurry._

_“Im not as think as you drunk I am!” Brendon says, completely fucking up the sentence._

_“Im busy!” I say rushing out the door to see no sign of Tyler._

_I get into my car and begin driving down the street. Where is he?! As I keep moving down the street I see Tyler curled up on the side of the road sobbing and shaking._

_“TYLER?!” I say as I stop the car and get out._

_I step close to Tyler as he flinches. I lean down and go to touch his back but he moves away quickly._

_“D-Don’t touch m-me!” He panics._

_“Im not going to hurt you Ty, please just tell me what’s wrong?” I say softly._

_“I-I can’t…” He whispers._

_“I-I n-need Josh…” He says._

_I nod._

_“Get in the car, I’ll take you to his house.” I say fast._

**_Tyler’s POV_ **

_Ryan pulls up at Josh’s house and I thank him softly as I open the car door._

_“I’ll wait here in case you need to go home. Let me know if you need me to take you home.” Ryan smiles._

_I nod and go to Josh’s door. I notice it unlocked and walk in. I hear yelling coming from the kitchen. As I walk closer I hear Josh yelling._

_“HE’S NOT ALONE MOM! HE’S FUCKING A DRUG DEALER IN A UGLY-ASS BEDROOM! FUCK HIM, HE CAN DIE FOR ALL I CARE! I HOPE HE IS WALKING IN THE RAIN ALONE!” Josh screams as his mom looks over at me._

_“Josh…” She says still looking at me._

_“What?!” Josh say’s as he turns around._

_I look at him with tears falling. He hates me…_

_“Tyler, are you okay honey?” His mom says sympathetically._

_I brings a shaky hand to my face and wipe some tears which are soon replaced with fresh ones. I turn and walk out of the house. He hates me…this is all my fault…the rape…the murder…Josh hating me…karma…_

_I walk to Ryan’s car with tears flowing and pain spreading inside me. Ryan starts the car and looks at me with worry._

_“Tyler, you okay?” He says._

_I nod and get into the car. He drives me home. It is silent. Ryan keeps looking at me with worry in his eyes. As we pull up to my house he says goodbye and I limp inside. Mom and dad are still away so im left on my own. I cry as I get into my room. As I cry hysterically as the events of tonight play though my mind. Fuck it’s my fault! Soon my sadness turn’s into anger. Why doesn’t Josh help me? Why is he blaming me for this shit?! I scream as I throw my ukulele at the wall. There goes something I love…rage takes over as I throw more stuff. I walk over to the now marked wall and punch it._

_“FUCK YOU JOSH!” I scream as I keep punching it._

_I could never forget your name…I could never forget your face forever…_

_“REAL NICE TO KNOW YOU CARE JOSH!” I scream as my bloody fist hit’s the wall over and over again._

_I'm so surprised you would dare to blame me…I could never forget your wandering eyes…I could never forget about the way you made me feel…_

_“YOU MAKE ME WANNA FORGET!” I scream as tears fall and the wall turns red._

_I fall to the ground with a throbbing hand and broken heart._

_“F-Fuck you J-Josh…” I cry._

_The pain is unbearable! Not only physically but internally; im dying, suffocating…_

**_ END OF FLASHBACK _ **

“Pain…complete and utter pain.” I say as I wipe my tears.

The doctor nods and smiles sympathetically.

“That’s all I need thanks Tyler.” He says as he leaves me in this dark hospital room.

I grab my phone and ring Josh. He doesn’t answer.

 **Josh can you hear me?** I say in my head hoping he answers.

_‘Tyler, are you okay?’_

**Y-Yes…I-I miss you…**

_‘Aw bub, I miss you too. Get some sleep.’_

**I can’t…**

_‘Why?’_

**Because I get flashbacks every time I shut my eye’s…**

_‘Im on my way.’_

**No Josh don’t worry, im fine; honestly you don’t have to come.** I say as I feel bad.

Josh doesn’t reply. I sigh and lay back hard into the bed. I wish I could become the bed; anything is better than being me, a psycho murderer…

I bite my lip while staring at the ceiling. Im sick of this hospital; all the doctors and nurses checking on me every five minutes…it sucks! Nothing is helping me. They are force feeding me through a tube but I know what happens when it’s out…I know they want me to get healthy and eat but honestly I don’t deserve it…I don’t deserve anything but death; so that’s what im gonna get…I hate myself; everyone would be way better off without me…I just hope once im gone Josh will be happy finally.

“Tyler, you okay?” Josh bursts into the room, making me jump a mile.

“Sorry…” Josh says as he comes over to me.

I smile at him; hoping he doesn’t notice that it’s forced. He looks at me with a sad smile.

“My baby…” He says as he moves closer to kiss me.

I flinch and lean away involuntarily. Josh leans away and looks at me with sad eyes.

“J-Josh…” I say, guilt washing over me.

“N-No Tyler, its okay…” He says rubbing his neck.

Josh sit’s in the chair next to my bed and sighs. He is upset about me not letting him kiss me, I can tell by the way his eyes avoid mine and his shaky hand rubbing his neck. It’s my fault I made him sad…gosh Tyler can you ever treat someone nicely? Josh would definitely be better without me; he needs a boyfriend that can give him a kiss and not be scared, a guy that can give him everything I can’t…

I watch as he picks at his nails; silence drowning the room. I feel hot tears fall. I fucking hate myself! Im always scared…im terrified of touching people, terrified to keep living…

“Tyler, you okay baby?!” Josh says as he sees me crying silently.

I cover my face with my shaking hands. Josh put’s a tissue box in my lap as I keep crying.

“J-Josh…I-Im sorry…” I sob out.

“Tyler, its okay…” He says allowing a few tears to fall himself.

“I-Im so s-scared…so f-fucking scared…” I cry.

“Why?” Josh says.

I take my hands away from my face and see Josh staring at me with tears falling. It’s my fault.

“B-Because you don’t d-deserve a-a guy like me…a-a fuckup…” I sob.

Josh wipes his tears and shakes his head.

“Tyler, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He says.

“I-I don’t want th-this Josh…I-I don’t want to l-live anymore…” I say as tears fall and hatred for myself rises in me.

“Tyler-“ Josh starts but is cut off.

“NO JOSH! I CAN’T KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS! I KILLED THEM; IM A MURDERER! I HAVE TO DIE, PLEASE JUST LET ME FUCKING DIE!” I scream as I throw the tissue box at the wall.

Josh stares at me with more tears falling; now in a constant flow. I cover my face with my hands again as I sob harder than I have ever sobbed before.

“J-Josh please…l-let me d-die…” I plead.

“Friend, please remove your hands from over your eyes for me, I know you want to leave but friend, please don't take your life away from me” Josh starts to cry.

“Josh…I-I have t-to…” I sob.

Josh stands up.

“TYLER FUCKING LISTEN TO ME! YOU ARE EVERYTHING I NEED; WE BOTH LIVE OR WE BOTH DIE!” Josh yells though sobs.

I shake my head. I curl up screaming as tears don’t stop erupting. I fucking need to die! He doesn’t understand the pain I go through! Why can’t I just die?! Josh sits back down sobbing hard.

“I-I fucking need you Tyler…” Josh sobs.

“P-Please don’t leave m-me…” He continues to sob loudly.

I turn over facing the blank wall with my back towards Josh; I can’t see him like this…it’s my fault…

I close my eyes hard and force myself to stop sobbing. Eventually I feel sleep take me away.

 

**Josh’s POV**

Tyler turns over so I can’t see him. I need him…why can’t I help him? Fuck I can’t lose my Babyboy! I won’t lose him, I refuse to let Tyler die! Fuck all the people who have hurt him. He is perfect. I sit sobbing as I notice Tyler’s silent. Is he asleep? I feel my eyes get heavy from crying so much. Eventually I fall asleep.


	26. Tyler's POV

“Mr. Joseph?” I wake up to see a nurse standing next to the bed with a smile.

“You’re free to go home now. The tests show nothing; you’re all good. Dr. James said you must keep eating and drinking otherwise you will get sick again. Death is a possibility if you don’t eat or drink for a long period of time.” She says.

I nod. I want to die. I don’t deserve my life anyway.

“Have a good day sir.” She says as she disconnects me from machines and take s my feeding tube out.

She leaves with a smile.

I look to see no Josh. Was it a dream? Where is he? Did I make him leave? It’s all my fucking fault…

As I get up my phone ding’s.

_Josh: Hey Ty. Hope you’re feeling better after a sleep xo_

_Tyler: Hey Josh, thanks. I am free to go now. Im gonna call a taxi cab now. Xoxo_

_Josh: Meet me out the front. I will be there in 10._

_Tyler: Okay thanks xx_

I wait out the front of the hospital after checking out. I feel free finally. Shame my life is going to end soon…

*Beep Beep* “Taxi cab at your service young sir.” Josh says tooting the car horn.

I smile and get in.

“Where are you off to today sir?” Josh says in his most formal voice he could do.

I laugh.

“To my house please.” I say with a smile.

“Sure thing sir.” He says driving off.

I sigh. I missed being with Josh all the time. I can’t get too close to him again though, he will only get hurt.

“What are you thinkin’ of hotstuff?” Josh smirks and sideways glances at me.

“Ummmm…nothing much really.” I say.

**God he comes up with so many nicknames for me…I love it…**

“Im joking; I can read your mind, remember? _Hotstuff_.” Josh says with a smile.

**Damn I keep forgetting that…**

“I know.” Josh says.

“Stop reading my mind Josh.” I whine, extending the o in his name.

“Fine.” He pout’s in fake sadness.

I shake my head. Why do I fall in love with the cutest guy in Columbus?

We get to my house and go straight to my room. Im still exhausted but can’t go to sleep otherwise I won’t be able to sleep tonight. I notice a yellow diary on my desk.

“Who’s is this?” I ask.

“It’s you’re diary. I put it there last time I came over, thought you might like something to write your feeling’s ‘n shit in. I have one too.” Josh smiles.

I nod. This would be good to use to plan my suicide letters and stuff…

“Hey Tyler…” Josh says grabbing my attention away from the diary.

“What you said yesterday…about dying…were you serious about wanting to die?” Josh asks with a sad expression.

I sigh.

“No.”

Yes…

 

************Josh’s POV** ** ** ** ** **

“No.”

**Yes…**

I internally crumble. The love of my life want’s to die…

“Um…what’s this?” I ask, noticing a faint red patch on Tyler’s wall.

It looks like it’s been scrubbed numerous times with a sponge and water.

“I-I don’t know how t-that got there…” Tyler says, suddenly nervous.

 **Totally not from punching the wall and screaming fuck you Josh…** Tyler thinks as I read his mind.

I hold back tears. Tyler need’s help bad. Why was he punching a wall and screaming ‘Fuck you Josh’? And why fuck me?

“Oh…” I mumble.

We sit and watch TV until lunch time.

“What do you want for lunch Ty?” I ask.

“Im not really um…hungry…” He says, obviously lying.

“Tyler, you’re eating something. What do you want?” I say.

Tyler shrugs.

“I’ll make something.” I say as I get up and go into the kitchen.

I end up cooking 2 minute noodles because Chef Josh right here can’t cook for shit.

“Here.” I smile as I hand Tyler a bowl of noodles.

He replies with a small thanks.

I watch as Tyler slurps up a noodle. He then takes another mouthful. He catches me staring at him.

“Gonna watch me eat? Your noodles are gonna get cold.” Tyler mumbles with a mouthful of noodles.

“Um sorry…im just um…glad you’re eating…” I say truthfully.

**Oh…**

Tyler nods.

I finish my noodles fast. Tyler still has half a bowl full of noodles. I notice Tyler slowly eating.

“Keep going bub, you’re doing great.” I smile.

“Josh, im full. If I eat more im gonna throw it up.” Tyler whines.

“Okay, fine. You’ve done great.” I smile as I take our bowls to the sink.

I sit back down with Tyler as I see him hunched over looking down.

“J-Josh…I don’t f-feel too good…” He mumbles whilst holding his stomach and closing his eyes.

“Just keep it down Tyler. Watch the TV and the sick feeling will leave. Your body just isn’t used to eating so much food.” I say, making sure not to touch him so he doesn’t flinch and freak out.

He nods and sit’s back watching TV. It’s about three hours later and Tyler is sleeping, head resting on my lap. He looks so cute! I pick him up and head to his room. As I lay him down he wakes a little.

“Josh…” He whispers with his eyes closed still.

“Im here baby.” I whisper back.

“Sleep with me.” He says.

“But what if I accidently touch you?” I say back.

“Shhh. Just get your ass in bed.” He whispers.

I smile and get into bed after stripping down to my underwear. We both fall asleep soundly.


	27. Tyler's POV

I wake up and almost have a heart attack; Josh is cuddling me and oh my god it scared the shit out of me! I look to see him sleeping nicely. I look at my phone and make it come to me. 2:31am…so much for sleep Tyler…

I get up carefully so I don’t wake Josh up and sit at my desk. I decide to write in the diary.

_‘Dear diary, here I am. I never thought this diary idea was smart…it just sounds stupid to write down feeling and crap. I guess im gonna more use this as a suicide plan. Wish me luck.’_

I look at what I wrote and frown. Im no good at diary entries…I flip to another page so I can plan my suicide.

_Date of suicide:_

What date should I do it? Today is August 12th…August 14th? Yeah, that gives me time to say goodbye in person to Josh and my friends.

_Date of suicide: August 14th_

_Weapon of choice:_

Hmmm…should I use pills? Or a rope?

_Rope_

_Where: Forest_

_Time: 12 noon_

_Letters to:_

Who needs a letter?

_Josh, Mom and Dad, Helen, My friends and Blurryface._

I read over my list; a migraine is forming. I sigh. This is it. I have to do this…I begin writing my letter to Josh.

_Josh, I love you and im sorry._

_You are the best person I know; you deserve to be happy and I can’t make you happy. You deserve a guy that you can hug and can give you so much more than I provide. Thank you for always being there for me when I treated you like crap…_

_Please don’t forget our good memories…just forget the bad ones…_

_Remember when we first met and you read my mind? I used to never believe in love at first sight, now I can easily say it’s true. You made me so nervous when we met; in art class. You were sitting next to each other and I thought you hated me. I had a crush on you straight away. And god when I heard your voice, it was angelic!_

_Remember when you first spoke telepathically to me? In the forest. I was so scared. I remember you saying for me to wait-not kill myself. You said your name and I was so rude to you. What about when you made the kid beating me up punch his friend? Then I was pissed at you for not telling me it was you that spoke to me in my head. I pushed you into the cleaner’s closet. Oh god, the closet…do you remember that? I hope you do…_

_Do you remember the first time seeing me use my power? I shoved a kid into a locker? And you thought I used ‘Force Push’ and I had no clue what you were talking about…still don’t._

_What about me meeting the gang for the first time, remember that? I had a panic attack but you were with me the whole way though…_

_Remember being caught lying to your mom about sleeping over at Gerard’s? Omg and remember what she gave you? I guess you can use that stuff now that im gone…_

_Remember Brendon getting all protective over me? That was pretty funny. He was more protective than my own dad._

_What about the time you pretended you were a Taxi driver! That was kind of hot if im being honest. Then you cooked us 2 minute noodles because you couldn’t cook anything else. God these memories get me choked up. The noodles were good though!_

_Josh I love you so much! Please don’t forget those memories. They are just few of our many amazing memories. Don’t come looking for me; I need to do this. Don’t blame yourself either, it’s my fault all of this has happened and I am so sorry…I wish I could have been a better boyfriend…_

_Goodbye Josh. Love from Tyler._

_PS: Don’t forget about me._

I put the pen down and wipe my tears. This is hard to write…

 

_Dear Mom and Dad,_

_I know this is hard to read considering your only son is now gone. Im sorry. I am sorry I couldn’t be a better son…_

_You both will be better without me. You both can finally go on business trips without worrying if there is food in the house for your troubled son. I understand now, why you both would leave me…I would do the same to myself if I could…but I guess in a way I am? I have fought Blurry for far too long. I guess what im trying to say is that I’ve finally given up. Im sorry. Don’t blame yourselves, it’s my fault. My fault Johnny and two other guys are dead, my fault I got raped twice. Don’t miss me, im not worth your tears. Be kind to Josh, it’s not his fault either. He has no clue that im doing this…so now I say goodbye...sorry I was such a burden._

_-xoTyler_

Okay so Josh and my parent’s letters are done, now for Helen.

 

_Helen,_

_Where do I start? You have been seeing me for a bit now, ever since I moved to Columbus. You have helped me so much and I am forever great full. Thank you for all the support and keeping our conversations confidential. You are a great woman and I will miss you. Don’t worry about me; im going to a better place. Just focus on yourself and your family. You deserve a medal for putting up with me._

_-xoTyler_

Right so now I need to do a letter for the gang.

_‘Brendon, Dallon, Gerard, Frank, Patrick, Pete, Mikey, Ray and Ryan,_

_Thank you for letting me into your group. At first I was terrified of you all; I thought you would want me as your punching bag not friend, but I was proven wrong._

_Bren, I thought of you as the party guy at first but when you said about killing Jason, I realized you are more the protective dad of the group. You’ll make a great dad one day!_

_Dallon, you and Bren need to sort out your shit. You both should be friends and not enemies. Please promise you and Bren will try and be nice to each other, for me? You’re the emotion to the group I guess, kind of moody but in a good way. You’re funny. I will miss you, along with everyone else._

_Gerard, oh Gerard…what else is there to say apart from you should get with Frank? You should go get him. Don’t let Frank slip away. I see how you look at him; with eyes of lust. He looks at you the same way. Hurry up and date please_ _J_

_Frank, like I said to Gerard, you both need to hurry up and date. You’re the short funny one of the group; the mouth. Your all bark, but I love that about you._

_Patty, you’re the cinnamon roll of the group. There is no other way to describe you. You’re the caring one who is so innocent; keep it that way._

_Pete, you’re the emo of our gang; the emo I wished I was. I could never wear eyeliner like you. You’re a pretty sick dude._

_Mikey, when I first met you, I was smacked with a quiet personality. You never spoke much, unless it was arguing with Gerard. That was funny though, you always won the arguments too._

_Ray, you’re the smile of the group; the sunshine. You made the group happy. Without you there wouldn’t be much happiness._

_Ryan, you’re the glue. You keep the group together. Without you the gang wouldn’t be the same. Thank you for taking me home the night of the party. I know I didn’t say much to you but I always envied how put together your life is. You have everything planned out ahead of time and I wish I did too._

_Guys I will miss you all. It’s my fault, im sorry. Please don’t let my death split the gang up. Goodbye._

_-xoTyler_

I stop to wipe my eyes as I notice Josh stirring. I smile. He is such a beautiful sleeper. I will miss him dearly.

_Dear Blurryface,_

_I’ve known you for a long time now. Lately you seem to have shut up a bit, thank god. You have been a pain in my ass for too long. All you wanted was to see me suffer. You cared what people think…you made me do this._

_You have been nagging at me to die for years. Well Blurry, I can finally say you won. I am going to take my life. You can finally be happy that im dead. Im giving up; you win…_

_-xoTyler_

I sigh as I rip out the pages and fold them; ready to give out tomorrow. I put away my diary and pen, hiding the letters in a draw. Im going to be dead in two days’ time…

I go into the lounge room and lay on the couch. I just can’t make myself get into bed with Josh…I feel so guilty but I can’t help it. Soon I fall asleep.


	28. Tyler's POV

“Tyler?” I wake up to see Josh standing in front of me.

I look at him, waiting for him to continue.

“Why are you here? Why weren’t you in your bed?” Josh says sitting down on the floor in front of me.

I shrug.

“Ty, tell me.”

“I-I couldn’t d-do it Josh…im s-sorry…” I say rubbing my eyes.

“You should have told me! I would have slept on the couch. You shouldn’t have to.” Josh smiles.

I nod.

“Well what do you wanna do today?” He asks.

I have an idea…since it’s the last day I spend with Josh…the last day I live, I will plan a day out with him and the gang!

“I have planned a surprise.” I say as I smile; getting my phone.

“What is it?” Josh asks.

“You will see. Just get dressed and ready.” I say.

He nods and goes into my room.

“TYLER CAN I BORROW SOME CLOTHES? I HAVENT GOT ANY WITH ME” Josh yells from my bedroom.

“YES!” I yell back.

_Tyler: Hey Brendon, what are you up to?_

_Brendon: Ryan and I are watching TV. Wbu?_

_Tyler: I was wondering of you and the gang wanna meet for lunch at Taco Bell today?_

_Brendon: Yeah I will message the gang._

_Tyler: Before lunch wanna go to the movies?_

_Brendon: Ryan wouldn’t like me going to the movies with just you…_

_Tyler: I MEANT WITH THE GANG!_

_Brendon: Ohhh, sorry…yeah for sure! What time?_

_Tyler: Meet at the cinema’s at 10am?_

_Brendon: Okay. Cya then Ty._

_Tyler: Bye._

I turn my phone off as Josh comes out of my room.

“We need to make a stop at my house, your clothes are too small.” He laughs.

“Okay get in the car.” I say.

“Okay? Why are we hurrying?” Josh asks.

“Just get in the car, im gonna go get dressed. Meet you in the car.” I say, walking to my room.

I put on some black skinny jeans, a black top and a floral kimono with black shoes. I walk out of my room. I head out the front door and lock it behind me as I skip to the car.

“Took you long enough.” Josh jokes as I glare at him playfully.

We set off.


	29. Josh's POV

Tyler drives down the cold streets of Columbus silently. I wonder what he is thinking of…

**God im gonna miss Josh and the boys…but I have to do it. This has to be a perfect day since it’s my last. I’ve got the rope haven’t I? Shit I better check when I get home. Fuck im hungry! Josh will want me to eat…I guess I better since it’s the last time I eat with him.**

I feel tears fall on my cheek as I turn and look out the window. I feel nothing but worry. He is gonna try and kill himself tomorrow…is that what he was doing in the middle of the night? I woke up and saw him writing in his diary so I went back to sleep. Was he writing his suicide note?! Suddenly the car stops and I pretend to not have worry holding me captive.

“Hurry up. Let’s get something to eat for breakfast once you’re done.” Tyler smiles at me as I wipe my eyes and look at him, hoping I don’t have red eyes from unwanted tears.

“You okay?” Tyler asks.

“Yeah…um…allergies.” I lie.

Tyler nods. I get out of the car and go inside my house. I get changed into some black jeans and a black and white top with a red cap. I get back into the car fast and Tyler begins to drive again.

We get out of the car and walk into a small diner. It is empty. We sit in a booth at the back away from the cold wind blowing in when the door opens.

“Can I take your orders gentlemen?” A waitress smiles.

We nod and I look at the menu.

“I will have some French toast and a side of beacon please.” I smile.

Tyler looks at me and I notice slight worry in his eyes.

“Um…can I please have a piece of French toast too and um…?” Tyler says looking down at the menu again.

“That’s all thanks.” He says.

“So only one piece of French toast?” She says with a weird expression.

Tyler nods.

“Also he will have a coffee, actually make that two please.” I say as she nods her head.

The waitress walks away and Tyler darts his eyes over to me.

“Why the coffee?” He asks.

“If you’re not gonna eat a lot then you can at least have a coffee with your toast to fill you up.” I smile.

Tyler nods and looks down.

**Fuck im gonna miss him…**

I sigh and look away from Tyler. Why is he planning to die?! Eventually after five minutes of silence the waitress brings our food and coffee’s out to us.

“Thanks.” I smile.

Tyler thanks her. As she leaves he looks at me in shock.

“What?” I ask.

“She gave me two pieces of French toast…I said one…” He says as he looks at his plate.

“Just eat up buttercup.” I say as I dig into my meal.

Half an hour goes and I see Tyler struggling to finish his coffee.

“You okay?” I ask as I see him swallow a mouthful of coffee harshly.

“Yep.” He mutters as he gulps more coffee.

“Slow down, you’re gonna get the hiccups.” I laugh.

**Fuck I need to finish this coffee so Josh doesn’t have to worry…please god help me finish this fucking coffee!**

I look at him as he begins closing his eyes and trying to swallow more.

**God I feel so sick…**

“Tyler, stop drinking it. Your gonna make yourself sick.” I say taking the coffee off him.

Tyler finishes his mouthful and exhales hard.

“S-Sorry…” He whispers.

“Babe, it’s okay.” I smile as he looks down, biting his lip.

Tyler hauls me into the car and begins driving the opposite way to either of our houses.

“Where are we going?” I ask.

Tyler shrugs his shoulders with a big smirk playing on his lips.

“Somewhere.” He says.

11am hit’s as Tyler pulls up at the cinemas.

“We going to see a movie?” I ask.

“Yeah we are gonna go see Pitch Perfect 2. You okay with that?” Tyler asks.

I smile and nod. We get out and head into the cinema.

As we wait in line for our tickets I feel someone grab me from behind and scoop me up for a hug. I turn to see Brendon and the gang apart from Gerard and Mikey.

“Hey Josh and Tyler!” Ray smiles.

We all say hello.

“Where is Gee and Mikey?” Tyler asks.

“Gerard and Mikey are on their way.” Frank says sounding really pissed off.

“Why? What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Gerard and Mikey were arguing about Frank being the top in the relationship and Gerard got pissed off and threw a glass vase at the wall, nearly hitting Mikey. Frank left them to sort their shit out and came with us.” Brendon said as Frank noticeably goes red.

“Oh…” Tyler says.

We all get our tickets and sit down in the theater. While the ads are on we all hear the door open and Gerard and Mikey walk in.

“It’s your fault fuckwit!” Mikey spits at Gerard as they notice where we are sitting.

“Excuse me?!” Gerard says turning to Mikey as Mikey steps back.

“Guys can you keep it down?!” a random guy turns and says to them.

“No.” Mikey says as he turns back to Gerard.

“You better shut the fuck up or im calling security!” The guy says to them.

“Don’t fucking talk like that to my little brother!” Gerard says as anger fills his eyes.

Shouldn’t mess with Mikey in front of Gerard…Rule #1.

Gerard gets in the guy’s face as the guy smiles.

“That ugly thing is your brother?” The man says.

“YES HE FUCKING IS! GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!” Gerard yells in the man’s face.

“No. you two fags can have each other. The guy spits.

“OH HELL FUCKING NO MOTHERFUCKER!” Brendon yells as he jumps out of his seat and gets in this man’s face, leaving Gerard to calm down.

Frank, Ray, Mikey and Dallon get up and hold Gerard back as he tries swinging at the man while Brendon start’s mouthing off in this man’s face.

Tyler stays seated watching as the rest of us go to hold Brendon back. You see, Frank and Dallon are all talk no action, Gerard and Brendon are…all talk all action? Basically they will scream at you while beating the shit out of you.

“FUCKING CALL ‘EM A FAG AGAIN! I DARE YOU FUCKER!” Brendon screams at him as we pull him back.

“FUCKING DO IT! GO ON!” Brendon keeps yelling.

“HE’S A PUSSY, HE WONT BREN!” Gerard yells to Brendon as we all hold the two bulldogs back.

“You all are fags. Including that little faggot there!” The man spit’s as he points to Tyler, who is still sitting and watching this.

Oh no he fucking didn’t just call my babyboy a faggot!

“THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!” I scream as I grab the man by the shirt.

“Josh calm down!” Patty says as I glare at the man.

“He your boyfriend?” The man says with a smile.

“Fuck yes he is!” I say still holding him.

“Both of you are faggot’s. Is this the faggots club or something? He is a faggot and should be dead!” The man says as he looks into my burning eyes.

Did he just say that my suicidal boyfriend should be dead?!

“OH SHIT! GUYS HOLD JOSH BACK!” Patty yells as I feel many hands try to pull me away from this dude.

I get pulled away while yells all sorts of shit to this guy.

“Dude what did he say?” Brendon says as I try to calm down.

“That Tyler should die because he’s a fucking faggot!” I say as all my anger intensifies.

“WHAT?! FUCK THIS DUDE!” Gerard yells as he hears me talking to Brendon.

In one quick second Brendon and Gerard go from somewhat calm to now beating the shit out of this man.

“FUCKING SAY SHIT ABOUT TYLER AGAIN AND WE WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND FUCK YOU UP!” Brendon yells as I see Brendon and Gerard beating the man up.

Eventually the others get told what he said about Tyler and now there is a massive fight in the middle of the theater. We all keep fighting until a high pitched, bloodcurdling scream comes from behind us. We all stop and turn to see Tyler being held up against a wall by one of the man’s friends.

“TYLER!” I scream as Tyler pleads with this man to stop touching him.

Tyler closes his eyes, focusing on not using his power as the man start’s punching him. Tyler opens his eyes and looks into mine.

**Josh help! JOSH HE’S FUCKING TOUCHING ME HELP! JOSH!**

_‘Step away from him NOW!’_ I say in the guy’s head.

He looks around in shock but keeps going.

 _‘Use your power!’_ I say to Tyler.

**ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING JOSH? I WILL HURT HIM!**

_‘Then hurt him!’_ I say as I get punched by a man behind me.

I start laying into him as I keep my eyes on Tyler. Tyler closes his eyes and next thing I know the guy falls to his knees; Tyler’s choking him. I notice Tyler not stopping. He’s losing control! I eventually get free and run over to him, I shake him while telling him to open his eyes and stop choking the guy. Tyler open’s his eyes as tears fall. I let go of him and turn to the guy. He lays on the ground trying to catch his breath.

“That’s what happens when you touch my man fucker!” I say as I pull Tyler away.

Tyler is trying to free my grip on his arm but I don’t let him go.

“GUYS LET’S GO!” I yell as they all see me holding Tyler’s arm and Tyler crying now.

They all follow, leaving a group of beaten up fuckers in the theater. We walk out of the cinema fast and stop out the front.

“Man I wanted to kill that motherfucker so bad!” Brendon says as we all try to calm down.

“J-Josh…”

“Yeah, we showed them!” Patty says with a smile.

“J-Josh…!”

“Did you see Brendon and Gerard fly over and fuck up that man? Shit that was hilarious!” Dallon laughs.

“JOSH!” Tyler screams.

We all look at him in shock.

“G-Get of m-me…” Tyler says as tears keep falling.

“What?” I ask confused.

We all stare at Tyler as he keeps crying.

“Your hand…Josh DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!” Tyler screams as I let go of his arm fast.

Tyler shoot’s his hands up to his face and sobs as we all stare silently.

“T-Tyler?” Brendon says.

“NO! JUST DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME, THAT’S ALL I FUCKING ASK FOR!” Tyler yells as he turns away.

“Sorry…” I say rubbing my neck.

I forgot he doesn’t like being touched…

“Im going to the car…b-bye guy’s…” Tyler whispers as he walks to the car and gets in.

What have I done…?

“Um…I will see you all later…” I mumble as I walk to the car.

I open to door and get in. Silence. Tyler is sitting with tears running down his face; staring out the window.

“Sorry…” I say as I start the car and begin driving.

Tyler ignores me the whole way home.

**The guy was right…I should be dead. Well I will be tomorrow…**

I read Tyler’s mind as I open the front door to his house. Tyler walk’s in first and goes into the kitchen. I follow him and sit down at the table while he stands looking in the sink.

“You okay?” I ask feeling guilty.

Tyler nods. Suddenly the fridge door opens and a coke can floats out and lands softly in front of me.

“Thanks…” I say realizing Tyler is using his power.

Tyler stays silent as he uses his power to shut the fridge. He walks to the table and sits down, biting his lip. We sit in silence for a while.

**Dying might be easier than I thought…**

Tyler thinks as I sit the coke can down harshly.

“Why?!” I say suddenly as Tyler looks at me in shock.

“Why do you want to fucking die so bad Tyler? Am I not enough for you or something?!” I exclaim, feeling tears fall down my cheeks.

“W-What?” Tyler says still in shock.

“You keep thinking of death. Why?” I say more calmly.

“Because I can.” Tyler shrugs, pretending they are just innocent thoughts.

“No. tell me why. Because I can’t keep fucking seeing you so sad and broken!” I say firmly as Tyler wipes his tears.

“Just shut up.” He whispers.

“NO FUCKING TELL ME!” I yell in desperation as I grab his hands, holding them tight.

“Let g-go…” He whispers.

I ignore him.

“LET GO JOSH!” Tyler screams as he pulls away from my grip, causing his chair to fall back as he stands up fast.

“Tyler…im sorry…I-I just need you to talk to me…” I say sitting down heavily.

Tyler starts crying harder.

“Yes Josh, wanna die! I want a rope around my neck while I struggle to breathe, I want to have a fucking gun to my head while I sob! I want death!” Tyler sobs.

“W-Why?” I ask.

“B-Because I d-don’t deserve to f-fucking live…I h-hate myself!” Tyler cries.

“Baby, death isn’t the answer. Stay alive for me, please.” I say.

Tyler shakes his head as he covers his face with his hands.

“Don't go, don't say good bye…Tyler, please remove your hands from over your eyes for me…I know you want to leave but please don't take your life away from me.” I start to sob.

We both cry for a while until Tyler kills the silence.

“I-I love you Josh…” He whispers.

“I love you t-too Tyler.” I say as we both look into each other’s eyes.

“Can I k-kiss you?” I ask.

Tyler nods and I go towards him slowly. Tyler and I’s lips connect as Tyler grips onto my chest, my hands gripping his hips. Tyler deepens the kiss, pushing his tongue into my mouth as I moan. We keep kissing and moaning. I’ve missed kissing him. Tyler push’s me against the wall, still kissing me.

“T-Ty…” I moan as I feel his hard member rubbing mine.

“J-Josh…I-I want y-you…” He moans.

“B-But…” I try to say but he grinds on me hard; causing me to moan in need.

Finally Tyler breaks the kiss to breathe.

“J-Josh…please c-can we um…” Tyler starts.

“But what about you? It might be too early, too soon.” I say.

Tyler bites his lip and nods; agreeing.

“Can we d-do other stuff t-though?” He asks.

I nod as he pulls me into his room and uses his power to push me on the bed.

“Fuck.” I mumble as Tyler gets on the bed and pulls my pants and underwear off fast.

 **Fuck I need him…** Tyler thinks as I smile.

Tyler grips onto my cock and starts pumping me slowly.

“Ahhh shit, Tyler…s-so good…” I moan.

Tyler begins licking up the precome that is leaking out of my member. He then takes me into his mouth, his head bobs up and down as he sucks hard.

“Ah! Mmmm Ty f-fuck…ohhh!” I moan out as he looks at me while sucking.

“Oh god, yes Ty!” I yell, arching my back in pleasure.

Tyler suddenly pulls away from my cock and looks at me, licking his lips.

“W-What are you doing?” I say, disappointed.

Tyler crawls slowly onto me and connects our lips. He kisses me with lustful passion.

“J-Josh…f-fuck me” he says as he reconnects our lips.

“T-Ty, I thought it was t-“ I get cut off by Tyler putting his finger to my lips, hushing me.

“Now Joshie, im ready now.” He says, looking at me with big eyes of lust.

“O-Okay…” I swallow as he leans back, pulling his pants and boxers off, and still keeping eye contact.

He crawls back over to me, smashing his lips onto mine as he groans. I feel his length touch mine and I moan uncontrollably. We make out for a few more minutes until he breaks the kiss and smiles.

“Your top.” He says.

I nod and he moves down, looking at my hard member while biting his lip.

“Y-You’re big…” He says, sounding slightly fearful.

“Tyler, if you don’t want this we can wait.” I say.

“Josh I need you! I want you! If I don’t do this now, I’ll never get to…um…im gonna start with riding you, is that okay?” He asks.

I nod. Does he mean he won’t ever get to do this because he thinks he’s gonna die tomorrow? I hope not.

He gets off the bed and goes to his draws, pulling out lube.

“My parents bought this for me…I guess you’re not the only one with a weird mom…” Tyler says turning red.

I smirk.

Tyler gets on the bed and opens the lube.

“I don’t have a condom but fuck it.” He says, looking nervous.

I smile at his eagerness. He lubes up my length as I moan. He throws the lube on the floor and bites his lip.

 **Here goes nothing…** Tyler thinks as he swings a leg around me so he is straddling me. He slowly lower’s himself onto me.

“S-S-Shit…” I moan from instant pleasure.

“Fuck!” Tyler yells in pain.

“Tyler, stop if it’s too painful.” I say.

“N-No…” Tyler squeezes his eyes shut tight as pain is flowing through him.

“Take your time Ty, don’t hurry for me.” I say as he nods.

After a few more minutes Tyler sinks down more until im fully inside him. He stops again and wait’s for a few seconds before bringing himself up and sinking down onto my cock again. Pleasure flows through me like never before.

“Still in p-pain?” I force out.

“N-No…shit Josh its g-good” He mumbles as he continues lifting himself and sinking back down over and over again.

“Ahhh Jooosh!” Tyler moans.

“Yes, T-Tyler ohhh, f-fuck!” I breathe out heavily as he picks up the speed.

Tyler throws his head back as he bounces on my lap hard and fast.

“C-Can we s-switch positions?” Tyler says, holding back a moan.

“S-Sure…” I say.

Tyler gets off my lap and positions himself on all fours.

“Doggy style?” I say with a smirk.

“S-Shut up and fuck me dadd-“ Tyler cut’s himself off by throwing his hand to his mouth.

“What were you gonna call me?” I ask while cocking an eyebrow.

“D-Daddy…” Tyler says in embarrassment.

“Daddy? Kinky…I like it. You can call me that kitten.” I smile as Tyler looks at me with wide eyes and nods.

I move behind him and line myself up with his entrance.

“Ready kitten?” I ask.

“Y-Yes…” He says.

I push the top of my throbbing cock into him as he moans loudly. Suddenly Tyler push’s his hips back, taking all of me in at once.

“FUCK! T-Tyler!” I moan loudly from the sudden pleasure.

“Ahhh d-daddy yes!” Tyler moans like a porn star.

I begin to thrust into him softly. He pushes his hips back, causing me to go in deeper.

“Oh Tyler…s-so tight…” I moan.

“F-Faster…” Tyler moans out.

I pick up the pace, pushing myself in and out faster than I thought I could go. Tyler stuff’s his face into the mattress as he keeps moaning. I’m relieved that Tyler is enjoying this and not freaking out. I keep thrusting into Tyler’s tight hole, gripping his hips.

“Oh! Oh! Shit, fuck daddy ahhh, push it in harder!” Tyler moans.

I feel myself coming to a climax; Tyler’s porn star moans helping me get closer.

“Ohhh! Daddy don’t stop, ahhh!” Tyler keeps moaning.

I thrust into Tyler harder, making Tyler grip onto the sheets and scream.

“RIGHT THERE! FUCK!” Tyler screams out as I hit his prostate.

“Fuck…y-yes daddy! Uh! Uh! Uh!” He says as I roughly hit his prostate over and over.

A burning feeling begins to form in the pit of my stomach as I slam into Tyler fast and hard.

“Daddy, im gonna…fuck Josh! FUCK ME DADDY FUCK ME HARDER! AHHH, OH FUCK JOSH IM GONNA-FUCK!” Tyler begins to scream as I quicken the pace, leaving us both in utter bliss.

“Ah, ah, ah, oh fuck, ohhh, fuck me daddy, ahhh! OH FUUUUCCCCKKKK!” Tyler scream’s as he comes untouched onto the bedsheets.

“Oh god TYLER!” I yells as I come hard, extending the L in Tyler’s name.

I force myself to keep thrusting into him sloppily as Tyler and I come down from our highs.

“J-Josh…fuck that was…good…” Tyler mumbles in an exhausted voice as he collapses onto the mattress.

I pull out and lay next to Tyler.

“You okay?” I ask with concern.

“Yeah…” Tyler whispers as he closes his eyes.

“J-Just a little nap…won’t hurt…” Tyler whispers as he falls asleep.

I soon fall asleep too. Tyler and I just had our first fuck together…and it was amazing!


	30. Josh's POV

I wake up and notice it is 5pm. I turn to see Tyler sleeping naked. Then it hit’s me…we had sex earlier today…

“Tyler?” I say as I shake him awake.

“Hmmm? J-Josh, what?” He says with his eyes still closed.

“We need to have a shower.” I say.

“No.” He says as he pulls a pillow over his face, trying to sleep more.

“What will make you get in there?” I say.

“If I get fucked by a really hot guy in the shower.” Tyler mumbles under the pillow.

“Is that sarcastic?” I ask.

“Depends. Want it to be sarcastic?” Tyler mumbles again.

“Fuck, Tyler we had sex earlier, are you okay for round 2?” I say with concern.

Tyler pulls the pillow off his face and looks at me with a face of you’ve-got-to-be-fucking-kidding.

“Do I look like I can’t handle round 2?” He says with a smirk.

I smile.

“Fine. I will fuck you in the shower. Go get in.” I shake my head while holding a massive smile.

“Okay.” Tyler says as he gets up and goes into the bathroom.

I follow after grabbing the lube off the floor. Tyler turns the shower on and wait’s for it to heat up as I close the door.

“You sure you want to do this again Tyler?” I ask.

“Yes. Josh, before we did it I thought everyone would have sex like Jason and I did, you showed me that sex isn’t always painful and scary. Thankyou.” He says with a smile.

I set closer as Tyler flinches. I step back again as Tyler’s face drops to sad.

“S-Sorry…I didn’t mean to flinch…” He says.

“Don’t worry baby” I say.

“Kiss me Joshua Dun.” Tyler smiles.

“Sure thing Tyler Joseph.

I move closer and kiss him. We deepen the kiss, my tongue in his as he moans. I feel myself getting hard. I lift Tyler up so his legs are around my hips.

“P-Please daddy…” Tyler whispers in my ear.

“O-Okay.” I say as I let Tyler down and get the lube, coating my cock.

I turn to see Tyler under the warm water waiting.

“Prep?” I ask.

“I think I will be fine, I might still be stretched from before.” Tyler says.

I nod and begin kissing Tyler before he pulls away and start’s laughing.

“What?” I ask.

“You probably didn’t need lube, you could have used water!” Tyler laughs.

“Oh…” I laugh.

I pick Tyler up again, Tyler wrapping his legs around my hips as I slowly push in the tip of my lubed cock.

“F-Fuck yes daddy!” Tyler moans.

I push in more, slowly getting fully in as Tyler moans.

“W-Wait a sec.” Tyler says as I let him adjust to the stretch.

“Okay go.” Tyler says.

I begin pulling out and pushing in as Tyler moans loudly. I press Tyler against the wall, water covering us as I thrust into him, slowly getting faster. Tyler throws his head back, causing himself to hit his head on the tiled wall.

“Fuck.” Tyler groans from hitting his head.

“Y-You okay?” I ask.

“Yeah…ah! Harder daddy! Oh god yes!” Tyler moans.

I push in harder. I pull out almost the whole way and slam into him fast and hard.

“OH FUCK YES! THERE!” Tyler yells as I thrust into his prostate numerous times.

“Oh Tyler, baby-so good!” I moan.

“I-I know…” Tyler mumbles as I keep thrusting into him.

“Ah! Ah! Ah! Yes daddy, give it to me daddy!” Tyler moans.

“I-Im gonna…” Tyler struggles to say as he comes hard.

My thrust’s become sloppy as I come, filling Tyler with the sticky liquid.

“Ohhh, Josh you came so much…you fill me up so well!” Tyler moans, feeling the liquid shoot into him.

I pull out and put Tyler down as we let the water wash cum off us.

“Thanks J-Josh…” Tyler says as he kisses me.

“Anytime.” I smile.

We wash up and go back to bed. Both of us are tired now. Tyler falls asleep fast and soon I do too.


	31. Tyler's POV

I wake up and see the time is 2am. I look over next to me to see Josh sleeping calmly. Part of me wants to stay for Josh but the other part is nagging at me; telling me I have to do it.

 _Hurry up and kill yourself. Josh and everyone else will be better off when you’re gone._ Blurry says to me as I sigh.

I thought you were gone…

_Like I said before, I come when you need me most..._

Blurry’s right though; they are better off without me…

_Of course im right. I care what you think Tyler._

I get up silently, not waking up Josh as I go over to my desk and get the letters and my diary. I look through the letters and sit them on the desk so Josh will find them easy. I then look at my suicide plan and shut my diary; leaving it on my desk. I go to my closet and find my rope I keep for when I was gonna kill myself last time. I put it in a bag and leave the room, shutting the door softly. I head off to the forest.

 

**Josh’s POV**

I jolt awake from the sound of a door closing. Tyler. I shoot out of bed and go to his door. Before I open it I notice letters and his diary on his desk. I pick up the letter addressed to me and open it.

_Josh, I love you and im sorry._

_You are the best person I know; you deserve to be happy and I can’t make you happy. You deserve a guy that you can hug and can give you so much more than I provide. Thank you for always being there for me when I treated you like crap…_

_Please don’t forget our good memories…just forget the bad ones…_

_Remember when we first met and you read my mind? I used to never believe in love at first sight, now I can easily say it’s true. You made me so nervous when we met; in art class. You were sitting next to each other and I thought you hated me. I had a crush on you straight away. And god when I heard your voice, it was angelic!_

_Remember when you first spoke telepathically to me? In the forest. I was so scared. I remember you saying for me to wait-not kill myself. You said your name and I was so rude to you. What about when you made the kid beating me up punch his friend? Then I was pissed at you for not telling me it was you that spoke to me in my head. I pushed you into the cleaner’s closet. Oh god, the closet…do you remember that? I hope you do…_

_Do you remember the first time seeing me use my power? I shoved a kid into a locker? And you thought I used ‘Force Push’ and I had no clue what you were talking about…still don’t._

_What about me meeting the gang for the first time, remember that? I had a panic attack but you were with me the whole way though…_

_Remember being caught lying to your mom about sleeping over at Gerard’s? Omg and remember what she gave you? I guess you can use that stuff now that im gone…_

_Remember Brendon getting all protective over me? That was pretty funny. He was more protective than my own dad._

_What about the time you pretended you were a Taxi driver! That was kind of hot if im being honest. Then you cooked us 2 minute noodles because you couldn’t cook anything else. God these memories get me choked up. The noodles were good though!_

_Josh I love you so much! Please don’t forget those memories. They are just few of our many amazing memories. Don’t come looking for me; I need to do this. Don’t blame yourself either, it’s my fault all of this has happened and I am so sorry…I wish I could have been a better boyfriend…_

_Goodbye Josh. Love from Tyler._

_PS: Don’t forget about me._

I put the letter on the desk as tears erupt. I can’t lose my babyboy! I grab his diary and flick through. I find his suicide plan. Forest…HE’S IN THE FOREST AGAIN!

I drop the diary and run out of the house and into the forest. My heart feels frozen as I hear silence. He can’t be dead! I keep running to the tree Tyler was in last time he tried to kill himself. Eventually I get to it and god my lungs burn from running so much. I look up to see Tyler tying the rope.

“TYLER!” I scream with desperation wrapped around my voice.

Tyler jumps and loses balance on the branch as he falls backwards.

“AHHH!” Tyler screams as he falls fast.

Tyler hit’s the floor.

“FUCK!” Tyler screams as he holds his right arm close to himself.

I wonder if it’s broken…

I rush to him.

“Tyler, you okay?!” I ask with worry filling me.

“JOSH THE PAIN! MY ARM!” Tyler cries out in pain.

I lean down and softly tell him everything will be okay.

“D-Did you hit your head?” I ask as panic sets in.

“Y-Yes…” Tyler says closing his eyes.

“Tyler stay awake, you’re probably concussed!” I panic as I grab my phone.

_“911 what’s your emergency?”_

_“I need an ambulance; my boyfriend feel out of a tree and he is concussed I think. He also has a broken arm or something!”_ I rush.

_“Okay address?”_

_“We are in the clearing of the forest off <STREET NAME> “_

_“Okay sir. An ambulance is on its way. Now sir, how did this happen?”_

_“He fell out of a tree.”_ I say.

_“And why was he in a tree?”_

_“Um…h-he was gonna um…commit s-suicide…”_ I stutter.

_“Im very sorry to hear. How did he fall?”_

_“I yelled his name and he jumped because it scared him.”_

_“Right. Okay sir, are the ambulances there yet?”_

_“I-I can hear them.”_

_“Okay sir, are you able to carry him out of the forest?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Okay meet the ambulance outside of the forest.”_

_“Okay. Thanks.”_

_“No problem. Good luck.”_ She says as she hangs up.

I pick Tyler up as he screams in pain. I run with Tyler in my arms out of the forest.

“Is this the kid that fell from a tree?” a paramedic asks.

“Y-Yes” I say lying Tyler on the stretcher.

**Josh stay with me!**

_‘I promise im right with you.’_ I telekinetically say in Tyler’s head.

“Okay so you wanna come im assuming?” The paramedic says.

I nod and get into the ambulance.

“What’s your name kid?” The paramedic asks Tyler.

“Tyler Joseph.”

“Age?”

“Sixteen”

“What’s the date?”

“August 14th”

“Did you hit your head?”

“Yes.”

“Okay thank you.” The paramedic says writing down stuff onto a clipboard.

“Sir, try to stay awake please.” The paramedic says to Tyler.

Tyler keeps closing his eyes. We get to the hospital and thankfully Tyler is still awake, barely but still awake.

“J-Josh!” Tyler panics.

“I will be waiting for you!” I say as the paramedics whisk Tyler away.

I ring mom.

_“Joshua, its 3:30am you better have a good reason for waking me up so early!”_

_“Im at the hospital.” I say._

_“WHAT?! WHY?!”_

_“Im fine, Tyler um…tired again…” I say feeling tears form._

_“Tried wha-oh no…not suicide again…”_

_“Y-Yes…” I sob._

_“Oh baby. Im on my way! Is he okay?”_

_“He’s got concussion and I think a broken arm or something…”_

_“Awe baby. Im in the car now. I will see you soon.”_

I hang up and sob harder.

A few minutes later mom comes rushing in and sit’s next to my sobbing self, scooping me up in a big cuddle.

“H-He won’t stop until h-he is d-dead…” I cry into my mom’s shoulder.

“Shhh, everything will be okay.” Mom says.


	32. Josh's POV

Flashbacks to being in this very waiting room when Tyler passed out from no food comes to me. I hate this hospital I decide. Mom falls asleep on my shoulder. I might try and get some rest until we can see Tyler. I close my red, swollen eyes and sleep takes me fast.

“Tyler Joseph?” I wake up instantly to the name of my boyfriend.

I stand up and mom smiles at me softly.

“Come with me sir.” The doctor says as I follow.

“Now, I am aware that Mr. Joseph was previously raped. Are you aware that is isn’t the first suicide attempt?” The doctor stops me outside his room.

I nod.

“Over the last two years Mr. Joseph has attempted suicide over ten times. This is very dangerous behavior that needs to be dealt with fast.” He continues.

I nod. Over ten times…

“Now im also aware that Mr. Joseph has been going to therapy but that has proven pointless now. Mr. Joseph needs intense psychiatric help.” He says.

“Meaning?” I ask.

“Well I have contacted his therapist and she agrees that Mr. Joseph should be put into a mental hospital until he recovers from his suicidal thoughts.” He says with a frown.

“O-Oh…” I mumble.

They want to take my Tyler away from me…but it’s for his best…if it helps him then I have to let him go…

“His parents have been notified and agreed that he should. He will be taken straight to Columbus Mental Hospital when he is released. Id suggest you say goodbye tomorrow because by the looks of him, I think he will be released very soon.” The doctor says.

I nod. It pains my heart to have to say goodbye to my baby…

“You can call his friends to come say bye too. Now as for his physical health right now; he is mildly concussed but will recover well. He also has a broken arm that will be better in no time.” The doctor smiles sympathetically at me.

“Okay…”

“You can see him now.” The doctor walks away.

I open the door to see Tyler facing the wall; his back facing me. Is he asleep?

“Tyler?”

He is silent.

**Im not fucking crazy…why a mental hospital?! Of course I fucking fail suicide again…death doesn’t even want me…**

“Tyler?” I say again.

**Josh…**

“Ty, you okay?” I ask as I sit down in the chair.

“They want to take me way…” Tyler says still not facing me.

“I-I know…”

“I won’t ever see you again…” He says, his voice breaking.

“I-I know…” I say again.

“Don’t let them take me…Josh please!” Tyler pleads as he turns around; facing me with red eyes.

“Tyler, this pains me too…I-I want to keep you with me forever but I also want you alive…I think it’s best for you…” I mumble quietly.

Tyler let’s out a heart wrenching sob.

“J-Josh…please don’t let me leave…” Tyler sobs.

“Tyler, I-Im sorry…” I sob out.

“Im scared Josh! Im so scared! Please Josh, please don’t let them take me away!” Tyler sobs, hiding his face behind his hands.

“Tyler, you need to get better…im so fucking sorry for what happened to you in your past to make you want to die so badly but Tyler, your my best friend-my rock and without you is going to be so fucking hard but I have to let you go…f-for you…” I sob.

The room fills with nothing but the sound of heartfelt, bone crushing sobs. I can’t stand seeing Tyler like this…so sad…so scared…so desperate…fuck I hate what life has done to Tyler! I can’t stand the sounds of my boyfriend crying anymore! I get up and run out of the room; I run out the doors of the hospital while hearing my mom yells for me. I sink to my knees as rain covers me.

“WHY GOD? WHY IS TYLER HURTING SO BAD? HE DOESN’T DESERVE THIS! HE IS A GOOD KID LORD…please don’t let them take my baby away…” I sob out to God as I hit my fists on the ground.

I curl up screaming and sobbing as I feel my mom cradle me.

“Shhh Josh, I know it’s hard. Im sorry he and you have to go through this but I promise he will get better and you will get to see him again.” Mom tries to comfort me.

I sob hard into my mom’s shoulder as rain soaks us.

“Come on, let’s go home and you can come back tomorrow.” Mom says as we stand up.

My legs feel weak, my body’s trembling, my hands shake and my head hurts; my feet move slowly, my eyesight blurs and my heart aches. I don’t need anything but Tyler…but I can’t have him…

I get home and rush to bed. I cry myself to sleep.


	33. Josh's POV

I wake up with a migraine and an empty hole in my heart. Tyler.

**_ GROUPCHAT _ **

_Josh is DUN with you: Hey guys…um…so Tyler is in hospital again…_

_Bren: WHAT? WHY?_

_Gee: WTF WHY?_

I clench my phone as I start to cry.

_Josh is DUN with you: Suicide attempt…_

Typing it out makes it sound worse somehow…

_Patty: OH MY GOD!_

_Ray of sunshine: NO WAY! WHEN? HOW? WHY?_

_Pete the pirate: IS HE OKAY?!_

_Mikeywave: OH SHIT! HOW IS HE?_

_Dicksucker Dallon: NO! WHY?_

_Frankie: IS HE OKAY???_

_Ryan the cheez whiz man: NO!!! POOR TYJO!_

_Josh is DUN with you: He climbed a tree and I found him as he was tying the rope…I yelled out to him and he fell so I called an ambulance and they helped him. He is okay physically, only minor concussion and a broken arm but…he is being taken to a mental hospital…_

_Ryan the cheez whiz man: Why a mental hospital???_

_Bren: Yeah^^_

_Josh is DUN with you: Because he has tried suicide over ten times and everyone thinks he’s gonna be better in a mental hospital until he’s better…_

_Gee: Fuck…im sorry to hear dude…_

_Ray of sunshine: When?_

_Josh is DUN with you: Today most likely…_

_Frankie: When can we say bye?_

_Josh is DUN with you: Today I guess?_

_Bren: Wow…guy’s, the gang isn’t the gang without Tyler…_

_Dicksucker Dallon: Ikr…_

_Patty: Fuck im sad now…_

_Bren: Im fucking crying!_

_Mikeywave: Guy’s if this is what we feel like imagine what Josh is going though…Tyler is his boyfriend...Josh if there is anything you need, let me know._

_Bren: Fuck im sorry Josh…Mikey’s right. You ever need anything, message one of us please._

_Josh is DUN with you: Thanks…_

I begin to cry hard now. Why does this happen to the most caring and innocent kid? Tyler might have killed people but for a good reason! We all decide we will see Tyler and say goodbye in an hour. I go into the kitchen and see mom cooking eggs.

“Morning…” Mom says.

The house feels different; mom doesn’t have her normal cheery attitude and it is cold and quiet in the house. We both sit down and begin to eat breakfast silently. There is a sad silence in the air; one of despair.

“So…how are you feeling?” Mom says emotionlessly.

I shrug. Mom nods. Mom looked at Tyler as a family member; one of her own kids. Tyler’s parents are fucking useless! While Tyler is suffering in hospital, about to be taken away from everything he knows, they are in another fucking country! Im no longer hungry so I push my plate away from me.

“You’re not eating?” Mom says.

“No.” I say coldly.

“You need to eat honey.” Mom says.

“NO MOM I DON’T! I FUCKING NEED TYLER!” I yell as I get up and go to my room sobbing.

Yeah I feel fucking terrible for treating mom like that but I can’t help it…I need Tyler…Tyler need’s me…

My phone start’s to ring.

 _“H-Hello?”_ I say, sadness evident in my voice.

_“Yo it’s Ryan. Want Bren and me to pick you up to see Tyler instead of your mom taking you?”_

_“Um…sure…whatever…”_ I mumble.

 _“God I hate this. You sound fucking depressed…”_ Ryan says.

 _“Mmmm.”_ I mumble.

 _“Listen, dude I didn’t know Brendon was gonna be like this! He hasn’t been his normal dickhead self…he has been crying a lot and won’t come out of his room…it’s scaring me…”_ Ryan says sadly.

 _“He will hopefully get over this…”_ I say trying to sound positive when really I have no faith in humanity anymore.

 _“Hopefully…man I don’t even know why he is this upset! Like yeah we are all very upset but dude Brendon is next level upset…almost as upset as you!”_ Ryan says.

I sigh. I know why. I read Brendon’s mind. You see, Brendon had a little brother that was suicidal. Brendon and he were really close. Brendon found his little brother dead one day after school…Tyler reminds Brendon of his little brother; so precious, so innocent, so harmless yet so dangerous…dangerous to themselves. Nothing kills a man faster than his own head…

 _“Okay so im gonna pick you up in like five minutes.”_ Ryan says changing the subject.

 _“Ok.”_ I say softly.

A few minutes later there is a knock on the door. I open it to see Ryan and Brendon.

“Hey…” I mumble.

“Hey Josh.” Ryan gives a sympathetic hug.

I look to see Brendon looking down.

**Fucking useless life…first my brother and now Ty…**

I frown. Brendon is hurting a lot. Yeah okay im hurting a lot too but I hate seeing Brendon; the crazy asshole looking so sad. Brendon looks at me with sad eyes.

“J-Josh…” Brendon forces out before he breaks into a sob.

I begin to cry as well.

“Oh god…MRS DUN? WE HAVE TWO SOBBING BOYS!” Ryan yells to my mom.

Brendon hugs me as we cry into each other’s shoulders. Mom comes over and frowns.

“You boys okay?” She says softly.

I shake my head while my face is buried into Brendon’s shoulder still. Eventually we both compose ourselves and make our way to the car. Brendon sit’s in the front with Ryan while I sit in the back looking out the window.

I hate life so much…


	34. Josh's POV

We get to the hospital and meet up with the rest of the group. I say group because like Bren said; it’s not ‘The Gang’ without Tyler. Tyler completed our group…

We walk into the hospital and wait to be let into Tyler’s room. We go in to see Tyler lying down staring at us. He doesn’t move, doesn’t speak…just stares.

“Tyler…you okay?” Gerard says.

Tyler doesn’t speak. He closes his eyes and let’s tears roll down his cheeks. When he open’s them back up I see nothing but pure sadness…no not even sadness, depression. He is depressed and is struggling to cope with the fact that he is unwillingly being taken away.

“We came to say goodbye…” Ray says.

Tyler just stares. His eyes are empty like the hole in my heart.

“Um…” Frank mumbles.

We all are silent until we hear Brendon break into a loud sob. Ryan hug’s him.

“Y-You can’t leave us T-Tyler…y-you can’t!” Brendon sobs.

 **Why me God? Why didn’t all my suicide attempts work?! What does the world fucking want from me?!** Tyler thinks.

Everyone’s eyes are on Brendon apart from mine. Mine are glued to Tyler. He looks so helpless, petrified if you will. Tyler’s dark eyes dart back to me as he lets another tear fall.

“I’ll go first.” Frank says, pretending to be the brave one when really he is on the verge of a breakdown-I can read minds, remember?

“Tyler, when I first met you I thought you looked so scared…but that was nothing compared to how scared you look now. We will see each other again, goodbye…” Frank says letting a tear slip as he walks out of the room.

Everyone says goodbye and now there is only me left to bid farewell to my boyfriend.

“We will meet you in the car.” Ryan says to me as they all leave.


	35. Josh's POV

I sit in the chair next to Tyler as he stares at me. I sigh.

“Where do I begin?” I whisper to myself as I rub my face harshly to hide the tears I feel forming.

“Im sorry…im sorry I couldn’t help you, im sorry you had to go through all this pain. Im sorry I wasn’t there for you when Jason hurt you, im sorry I couldn’t make you happy. Im sorry I couldn’t take away your suicidal thoughts, im sorry I couldn’t make your parents care more. Im sorry I lied to you when we first met, im sorry I couldn’t give you all that you deserve. Im sorry you have tried more than ten times, im sorry you have to leave, but Tyler, I am not fucking sorry for falling in love with you. Im not sorry I kissed you, im not sorry you became my boyfriend. Im not sorry we had sex, im not sorry I read your mind when we met, im not sorry I introduced you to my friends, im not fucking sorry I love you.” I say as I start to cry.

I see Tyler starting to cry too. God I love him to death.

“Tyler, this isn’t a goodbye. We will meet again, I promise. You will get better and you will be happy. Think of it as you going on a vacation…a long vacation…because god Tyler that’s how I have to look at it otherwise I might just fucking go insane! Fuck the world! I don’t need anything else but you…but I can’t fucking have you because you need to get better…I read the suicide letter you left for me again this morning…Tyler I don’t want to live if your dead, I don’t want to breathe if you’re not breathing, I don’t want to exist if you’re not existing with me…no im not sorry I stopped you from killing yourself, im sorry I couldn’t make those thought’s leave. I don’t know how im going to cope without you…I don’t even know if I will cope…the group is a mess; Brendon isn’t the same kid anymore. The group is falling apart without you. Please remember, when you’re gone and you’re scared or sad or whatever, please remember us. Remember me. Remember me not as the boyfriend who couldn’t successfully help you, but as the boyfriend who had an amazing partner. Tyler, for the amount of time I’ve been with you, it has been the best time of my life and I can’t thank you enough. You truly are an extraordinary kid…” I trail off as tears fall from both of our faces.

“Josh, I-I love you.” Tyler sobs                                                      

“I love y-you too.” I cry.

“Josh im scared…” Tyler cries.

“I know bub, I know…im fucking scared too but this is for the best…for you to get the help you need…” I say as I hug my sobbing boyfriend.

“What about our relationship?” Tyler sobs into my chest as I lean on the bed.

“We will start it up again when you’re out I guess…” I say sadly.

“O-Okay…” Tyler cries.


	36. Josh's POV

The doctor comes in and smiles sympathetically as I sit on the bed hugging Tyler.

“Mr. Joseph, have you said your goodbyes?” The doctor asks.

Tyler nods. I feel him starting to shake.

“Well you are going to leave now I am afraid.” The doctor says as I get off the bed.

“N-No Josh please don’t leave!” Tyler panics.

“Baby you will be fine.” I say holding back sobs.

I walk towards the door and stop, I turn around to see Tyler being held down by the doctor and nurses.

“JOSH NO DON’T LEAVE ME! PLEASE!” Tyler screams in desperation.

“G-Goodbye Tyler…” I say as Tyler watches me leave the room.

 **JOSH HELP ME!** Tyler yells in his head at me as I ignore his pleads.

“JOSH! PLEASE!” I hear Tyler scream as I walk out of the hospital.

I don’t look back…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so that's the end of Telekinesis. There is another two books in this trilogy. I am half way through writing book 3 but i'll post book 2 soon! Thanks so much for reading! Hope you all enjoyed!  
> -xoSammy  
> \-------------------------------------  
> The Mind Games Trilogy-  
> Book 1: Telekinesis  
> Book 2: Telepathy  
> Book 3: Inside the mind of a deadly weapon


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